I think for me at least, until I was ready to get my mind straight about my eating habits, I was never going to get anywhere. I think is why I had previously lost weight and gained again. I had to look at why I was effectively “self harming” with food. The rational, intelligent part of me knew exactly what I was doing was not good for me. But the hurt, scared, anxious, damaged part of me just wasn’t ready to listen. I feel like I’m getting there. 😋
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Very well put Sarah-Phim, and good to hear that this time you feel that "you're getting there". I know that I am similar to you; just not sure if I've made it as far in the right direction yet; we shall see!
Well done Sarah.
I used to be a size 20 and went down to a size 16. One thing I have come to terms with is something my husband said tome was that if you want to loose weight thats fine but do it for yourself and no one else. My weight loss is slow but it is going in the right direction. I have set my self a goal of 7lbs by Christmas I am over half way there.
I think you are right, the journey is yours and should be for you. It does help to have people that are encouraging on your side too.
It does and this is the right place to be for just that. I have a friend who goes from one fad diet to the next. She weighs herself everyday. I have told about this site but she has yet to join it.
This forum has truly been a tonic for me and has helped me to stay on track. Is nice to be among people that really get it and genuinely want the best for you.
There were things I knew and then there were things I lived by.
Even though I knew that the weight loss has to be for myself and for my health, I still wanted to lose weight for certain occassions. Even though I knew that it's not all about weight, I still somehow looked at things through the filter of 'everything would be ok if only I lost weight'. From the way I was acting, one could think that there are no slim people who are unhappy
If someone asked me if any of the following were true, of course, I would have said no, but I still lived as if they were true:
- if I wear baggy clothes, then it's not obvious that I'm too big (?!)
- if I only have stretchy trousers, then I'm not gaining weight (?!)
- if I don't weigh myself, then I'm not obese (?!)
- if I eat in secret, then it doesn't count (?!)
It turns out that the most therapeutic question for me was to simply ask myself: who the hell am I kidding?
If no-one knows you've eaten it, then you haven't. I kidded myself for a very long time by hiding chocolate bar wrappers.
Also ‘if I go on a diet from tomorrow, it’s necessary to eat ALL the unhealthy food in the house today, so I’m not tempted tomorrow’ ...
Oh Nordi, I have done all of those. I just bought a bigger size every time the previous got tight. I’m now doing the opposite and throwing away things that are too big. I used to love taking pics but at my biggest I just dodged them as I didn’t want to see what was looking back at me. I am enjoying them again now that I am back to one chin! 😂
This rings so true on so many levels. We have to feed our heads and our hearts and that doesn't necessarily mean with food.
Speaking to my GP at the end of May was the catalyst I needed, and im happy to say that I am making time for me and thats an important part of the journey 😊
I have suffered with anxiety over the years, for which I had therapy. Is pretty much under control now but I have wobbles from time to time. Ironically when I’m anxious I don’t eat but my ex was a bit of a feeder. Looking back if I was fat, then no one else would want me. You kind of don’t see things when you are in the middle of it.
Emphasis being on **EX**❤❤
Lovely heart-felt post Sarah🌹
You're not alone, most of us can probably relate; I know that I can, for sure.
Have a good week x
Hi Shield, the scale readings are only one way to measure our health and that is sometimes all we see of each other here. But it is so much more than that. Nice to show a little bit of the rest of who we are at times. 😀
Your picture sums it up very well. Although good food can make you feel better, a lot of people just settle into a self-destructive groove that can be very hard to break out of without a concerted effort. It takes a lot of self-awareness and courage to discard habits - and people - that are having a toxic effect on your life.
Hi Toad, is so true. You look back and wonder how and why you put up with it.
Hi Sarah- Phim
It is a long, hard road. Meta cognition I think is the key to understand why I overeat.
Well done, you sound sorted. Keep working at it. xx
Well done Sarah -Phim. I am so inspired by your sucess. X
Hi Sarah-phim,recognise a lot of what you say,eating in secret,eating everything today to start afresh tomorrow,knowing I'm big but not accepting the total amount.not meeting up with old time friends as I have ballooned from the thin thing I was,reading loads of books about all dieting subjects,spent a fortune on books,should have eaten the pages,theres always a new thought that will work this time, and finally I've been thinking this for about 40 years,why cant I see my time wasting,has meant nothing,I still havent really changed my mind,dont know if I ever will, but still have lots of hope !!!
How do you know when you're ready? I'm going through the same thing and I cant seem to fight off the negative feelings that my anxiety get...its always ill do it another day
I think only you know when you are ready. Personally I had to sort out my relationship before I could concentrate on my own health. I also had therapy many years ago to give me the tools to cope with my anxiety. I still have the odd wobble but can get myself back to normal pretty well. 😀
It's good to hear that you are getting there. Our relationship with food is so complicated and it's right that being healthy involves so much more than the body. Hopefully this forum and the support we give each other helps with all aspects of being healthy.