Lost my mojo

[Whitton6]

After 6 months of losing 12kg and regaining a useful weight, during the late summer I stopped weighing myself and started to eat again. This is what I always have done. I don't think I've gone back to all my binge eating, but feel as if I've gone back a long way. It doesn't seem possible for me to eat normally, I don't think I know what this is? Help. My husband works away all week and only wants to eat takeaways. I have one 22yr son & girlfriend who sometimes eat with me. It seems as if everything has changed and I haven't adapted to my new life. I don't want all that hard slog to be for nothing AGAIN. In a minute I will stand on those scales and see how bad it is.

[2718281]

Hi Whitton6, don't be discouraged by what the scales might say or not. I think, based on your post, that you feel that you are losing control a bit, but I know you have it in you to take control back and eat or make choices that make you proud of yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself and try making small changes, like preparing something nice so when your husband proposes to have takeaway you already have something ready and it's actually less wait to go for it.

[IndigoBlue61]

There are several issues here

Guilt and loss of control . . . We all have these. Try to analyse where and why you have gone off plan. Was it too restrictive? Is it emotional eating? Hunger? Learning which behaviours need changing is essential.

Hubby being away and wanting “treats” when he’s home. Why not plan a romantic Dinner Date, and cook lovely food, saving money as well as calories. You could suggest the money saved goes towards a weekend away or something.

Adult children. They can cook for themselves or eat what you provide, it’s their choice.

The numbers. They are just numbers, they don’t define you as a person, no-one here will judge you, we applaud you for NOT GIVING UP 😊👍👏

If you haven’t already then please have a good read of all the Pinned Posts here healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

especially the Welcome Newbies and the Security Post. (When you write a new post you are given the option to only allow forum members to view your post, which we recommend or else anyone on the WorldWideWeb can see your post)

Lastly, nothing beats joining in with forum events and activities for motivation, especially the Daily Diary and the Group Weigh-in’s. Have a look at the Whats Happening Chat Thread for a full list healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

This is a very busy forum with lots going on but feel free to ask if you have any questions.

Indigo 😊

[Whitton6 in reply to IndigoBlue61]

Thanks after a long walk with the dogs I already feel a little better. I didn't mention that my mother's funeral was yesterday and therefore feeling very below par. The tips are great and I will try to beat him to the take away tonight , thanks

[IndigoBlue61 in reply to Whitton6]

Oh my goodness, no wonder you are feeling down. Please accept my condolences, losing your Mum is bound to knock you ❤️

Take care 😊

[Whitton6 in reply to IndigoBlue61]

Thank you in fact after all my moaning I was only 2kg up on my pre summer weight. Thanks for the support it means a lot x

[IndigoBlue61 in reply to Whitton6]

So you clearly must have been eating fairly sensibly despite your fears.

Please be kind to yourself, grief can be debilitating

Big hugs ((❤️))

[Whitton6 in reply to IndigoBlue61]

Guess so! Yes it's been a hard couple of weeks. I have cooked a meal for the family still waiting for husband to come home though!

[Brightfeather Maintainer Healthy BMI in reply to IndigoBlue61]

Very good reply Indie. Thank you

[S11m]

Being alone in the house all week makes it easy to "Not Snack All Day" or miss supper or breakfast.

We all have to redefine "normal" - for me, it is not eating after 14:00.

healthunlocked.com/fasting-...

[Whitton6 in reply to S11m]

Thanks for the support I will read this later

[Pineapple27]

Hi there Whitton6 If you want this to work for the longer term, you need to think about it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet. That lifestyle change will need to happen a bit at a time and will involve many things : changing your behaviour around food, portion control, identifying emotional eating triggers, increasing your activity levels, trying new foods, making healthy food swaps, etc.

Commitment to diet/lifestyle change and resistance to temptation doesn't just happen! It has to be worked at.

The only way I have succeeded this time is to change how I approach food and eating it. I have learned to resist temptation! BUT please believe that this has taken a LOT of hard work and practice.



It's about "normalising" or "modifying" behaviour around food... and I think that with enough "practice" it becomes more and more easy until you get to the point where a behaviour is modified to the point of it becoming the only way.

I am sure that even some people who are not over weight do sometimes over indulge - but the fact is they don't do it very often...

Those of us who are over weight have been used to "treating" ourselves, eating portions that are too large, eating the things that we know are calorific because we can!

It's been a combination of changing all of those aspects of how I behave around food that has meant I have been successful this time.

I have developed a respect for the food I eat. Not everyone has the ability to eat as well as we in the western world eat. We should not abuse the privilege.

I rarely eat "on the hoof" any more, I rarely eat between meals. I take time to sit at a table and present my meals nicely. I take a moment or two to really look at my plate of food before I pick up my knife and fork.

Almost daily I say to hubbie "Aren't we lucky to be able to enjoy such lovely food". I really mean that too, I am not saying it for anyones benefit but his and mine. We should never take for granted having easy access to delicious food stuffs and our ability and love of cooking!

If you log your food - keep track of how many calories some of those "treats" contain, after a while they kind of stay in your head (medium egg = 70 cals, slice of white bread 100 cals, meringue nest 57 cals, 30g (matchbox size) of cheddar, 122 cals)

I do have sweet treats, but I buy my own choice, so things like 2 finger Kitkat, single finger Twix, Club biscuit... these are all around 100 calories. I keep them in a tin and I can have one whenever I want to, but I limit it to no more than one a day and usually with my afternoon cup of tea. That's not to say I eat one on a daily basis (usually about 2-3 times a week). They are always logged into my diary.

If you don't keep a log of what you are eating and the calories foods contain, then it's a bit like trying to travel from one place to another without a map! You might get there eventually BUT it's likely to take you much longer than if you planned the route and used a map PLUS you might take a few wrong turnings and end up going back on yourself!

I have also learned not to plan each trip out of the house to include food. Once upon a time, I'd have included lunch with a trip into town, coffee and cake with a visit to the garden centre.

I now plan or even prepare a meal BEFORE I go out (usually a salad) so that I know exactly what I can eat as soon as I walk into the door... and don't turn to "what I fancy" (usually high calorie carbs that don't keep you full for very long...)

Make a list of the reasons WHY you want to lose weight. Keep it somewhere safe (stuck to the inside of a kitchen cupboard door?) and look at it from time to time, especially when you are raiding the kitchen for treats!

I always ask myself before eating something really calorific "Do I really want to eat this thing more than I want to lose weight this week?". It's called "mindful eating" - being aware of why you are considering eating - real hunger? Boredom? Temptation? Feeling fed up?

Have a glass of water, wait 5 minutes and consider whether you still want the food. Once it's been snaffled down, it's too late and you may end up feeling cross and angry with yourself....

....and that feeling (guilt, failure) lasts for a long time, much longer than the temporary enjoyment of whatever treat you ate....

Oh, and I always remind myself how good the feeling is of seeing a loss on the scales at my weekly weigh in! That wonderful feeling lasts for days! Don't forget how that feels - you need to remind yourself of that feeling next time temptation strikes!

I’m healthier and fitter now at the age of 57 than I was 20 years ago…..

I am writing this as someone who had struggled all of my life (since the age of 9) to lose weight. I have a significant disability that affects my mobility - use a wheelchair outside of the house. I am also very short (4ft 8”). It wasn't until the age of 49 when I started to log everything and kept track of the calories I was consuming that the truth hit me between the eyes. I was eating FAR TOO MUCH for a short sedentary person. I changed my whole approach to food and eating it that everything else clicked into place

Just wished I’d found what worked for me years ago.

[Brightfeather Maintainer Healthy BMI in reply to Pineapple27]

Thank you. Great reply. So helpful.

[Whitton6 in reply to Pineapple27]

Excellent advice. I find it hard to think I have to do that for ever really! I'm at a good weight now and just want to keep it. I am trying to keep in good habits and be sociable at the same time !! That's hard

[Pineapple27 in reply to Whitton6]

You have to find a balance that works for you Whitton6 . I'm fortunate that I've gone off the taste of wine and other alcohol doesn't bother me. I still eat out, but just not as frequently and chose venues where there are healthy food choices available. I no longer feel the need to eat three courses, chips, desserts, etc. Happy with a coffee and a mouthful/taste of someone elses

[djsapg in reply to Pineapple27]

What a lovely reply supportive and really from the heart.

[Whitton6 in reply to Pineapple27]

Thank you Pineapple27 for your helpful information. I am now again at the bottom of my weight after another 5 months of healthy eating. This time I hope this is really the last time. I'm cutting portions, no urge to binge, swimming 3 times a week and walking the dogs twice a day. Here's hoping that this time I can keep the weight steady.

Very best wishes to you you appear to be very well informed and manage your health condition really well.

Thanks for your help.

[Whitton6]

Thank you x

[Hidden]

Hi I think you have reached a milestone. I never thought I would get over binge eating but I did and it's such an achievement for me😁. You have to do normal eating to be able to do it and I think you are doing marvellously. Well done and keep at it 👌

[Annekelly58]

Oh no, how disappointing for you to feel you're heading backwards. Stick at it. Let your husband have the takeaway and you have some delicious healthy food you enjoy to eat at the same time. You deserve it.

[WestieMaltese Restart Nov 2023]

Hi Whitton6, sorry for your loss and I hope you will have many joyful memories to set against the sadness you feel. No wonder you feel sad and want to eat. Your message could be an echo of mine.

After losing 8lbs in 8 weeks this summer, I went on work trips to the States and the UK. And now, I'm back to some (not all) bad behaviours around food. I've put on just a couple of pounds (should have been more), but I feel like I 'should' give myself a break between now and New Year, enjoy all the lovely winter food and baking, and start afresh in January. But the cravings and snacking habit have returned, and my bad knee doesn't want me to put on more weight!

How do you wonderful UK members keep good diets and exercise going when the days draw in, the grey, the cold, the rain? Here in the Andalucian mountains, it's still sunny and warm in the daytime, yet I'm already thinking about baking banana bread and other goodies!

Anyway, well done for finding the right path again. I KNOW you will feel better for making better choices, and wish you all the best.

[babss 2 stone in reply to WestieMaltese]

Time will tell how I manage through the winter as only started losing weight and really changing my diet in May. I think soup will be my answer!

[Missionwoman Restart Sept 2023 in reply to WestieMaltese]

I find soup is such an easy food to make and keeps me full for longer. It's very cold here today and I've just been rained on by beech nuts from our trees. 😂It was a bit sore and much like big hailstones.

[gman1961 Restart April 2024]

You are not alone Whitton6,

Don't beat yourself up , we all have to take a step back draw a line under things .Take a deep breath and start again.

Great support on this forum.

Good luck remember that this forum is always open.

Gary

[Annoot]

Let's hope it's not as bad

[BridgeGirl Administrator 2 stone in reply to Annoot]

Hello, good to see you're finding your way around

Have you thought of joining a weigh in? They're great for team support. And how about using the Daily Diary for sharing ideas on meal planning? This will help you find them healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh...

[babss 2 stone]

All the best Whitton in this really rough patch, look after yourself

[Craftyperson]

Don't beat yourself up too much especially as it was your mum's funeral yesterday your bound to be down and I see from a later post not gained that much so can't have gone too off track. You've had some good advice so all I'll add is don't think of it as a diet but a lifestyle change.

[Lzlycraft]

Seems like by writing this post you have made the first step to get back on your plan. This is about healthy eating and looking after yourself. None of us are perfect, you know what to do. Believe in yourself and great things will happen.