Such a failure.: Why can't I do this? I... - Weight Loss Support

Weight Loss Support

114,537 members60,871 posts

Such a failure.

teeks01 profile image
27 Replies

Why can't I do this? I know the answer to my own questions but I always fail at doing it, ive always failed most things in my life! My weight is the main problem to everything, cause of my weight im not confident, im insecure, i dont like to go out, i wear the most dull and baggy clothes, yet at home i just eat junk, snack and sit on my lazy ass!!! (sorry) I just need someone that I can relate to and know that I can do if I put the will power. Anyone feel me?! One question, is Glaceau vitamin water a good drink to have instead of fizzy and dilutes/soft juice?

Written by
teeks01 profile image
teeks01
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
27 Replies
Crazybluebear profile image
Crazybluebear

I've only just joined this site and it seems like we have something in common, our weight is the main problem in our lives. Some days I look in the mirror and can't stand the person looking back at me. So a take a deep breath count to ten and say three good things about the way I look to keep me motivated. I don't like to go out at all and like you wear baggy and dark clothes to hide myself, so I feel you.

Remember one day at a time, and we will be curvy and sexy in no time.

The Glaceau water info for you;

The sugar content in Glaceau vitamin water: Just a 20-ounce bottle of this drink already contains 8 teaspoons of sugar, which comes out to 33 grams of sugar in just that serving. a 20 ounce bottle of Coca Cola has 16 teaspoons of sugar in the same serving. So basically, the same serving of healthy vitamin water by Glaceau already comes with half the sugar content as the

same-sized bottle of coca cola.. So I would just drink water as that is calorie and sugar free and will do great things for you skin ;)

Catharine E

June1965 profile image
June1965 in reply to Crazybluebear

Loving this site !! It makes me feel normal......

Penel profile image
Penel

Please don't feel so bad about yourself, keep your anger for the food manufacturers who have deliberately designed junk food to be addictive. Have a read of "Salt, Sugar, Fat, How the Food Giants got us hooked" by Michael Moss.

You have taken the first step. There are many on here who have had to battle with their eating habits, so you are not alone. If you can cut down on sugar in your food and drink, that would be a great place to start. Know your enemy, read all labels!

Good luck.

SillyKat profile image
SillyKat

I feel your pain. My first response is to "I always fail". The only way to succeed is to change the way you think about this stuff. Rather than use that wording try telling yourself " I have failed in the past, but I can learn from what went wrong so I don't fail again". I constantly feel desire to eat and in the past I've thought it was just inevitable that I would eat so I'd stop fighting. Now when I fall into a binge I remind myself that it doesn't have to be this way, I am the one choosing to eat. It helps me stop the binge before it's too late.

Second, why judge yourself on how you look in a mirror? That's just how someone else sees you. How do you feel inside? Try to list anything you like about yourself that has nothing to do with appearance. What would you change? You're unlikely to improve your confidence if you rely on measuring yourself against what you think other people see.

It's a difficult change to make, but our culture has instilled in us that the only way to be happy is to look skinny. Start questioning that, and ask yourself what person you want to be so can value yourself.

Take care

Kat

denvajade profile image
denvajade

Hi Teeks01 i was sad to read that you feel you fail in everything you do! big people can look lovely in nice clothes, why dont you reward yourself with a treat every week to build up your confidence ie this week paint your nails in a lovely bright red! next week reshape or color your hair! then a lovely bright scarf to go with your dark clothes etc etc learn to like yourself and then you are in the "right place" to lose weight.

No more putting yourself down and I wish you well.

in reply to denvajade

You are so right! Why should we try to hide away in dark baggy clothing which doesn't work anyway and makes us feel worse? Wearing something we like and cheery even if it's in a bigger size than we'd like goes a long way to boosting self confidence and once we are more confident about ourselves and happy with some aspect of ourselves such as nice hair or skin etc, which bears no relation to weight, then we will be more inclined to look after ourselves and eat healthier.

skykitty profile image
skykitty

That does sound like a lot of sugar in the Glaceau water. This is always a problem for me. I hate to drink plain water, whether it's tap or bottled so I'm always looking for substitutes. To be honest I know I drink way too much diet coke. I won't have it in the house, I only drink it when I'm out but it's probably still too much with the chemicals etc.

The best solution I've found is to flavour plain water with lemon juice and lime juice. I buy the squeezy bottles of lemon/lime juice and then add a squirt of each to water. It flavours it nicely, and naturally while not having the same amount of sugar that a glass of fruit juice would. I recommend trying it, especially with ice in warm weather.

in reply to skykitty

Try putting plain water in the fridge as it tastes completely different to straight from the tap. Good idea about the bottle of lemon or lime juice by the way - I do sometimes put a slice of lime or lemon in which makes a difference but haven't always got any to hand.

dawn2501 profile image
dawn2501

I really feel for you cos that's just how I feel, I have tried so many times to get back on track but seem to fail. I know I can do it, I lost over 2 stone a couple of years ago and felt fantastic!!, wish I could have bottled that feeling for these times when I can't stick to a diet!! Special events have been and gone with me still being obese. I'm setting myself a goal to lose 2 stone for xmas, I'm hoping reading peoples experiences and success stories on here are going to inspire me to keep on the straight and narrow! I joke with my friends that my diet will start on the 1st of the month when it falls on a Monday, well the 1st of Sept is a Monday and so I'm getting myself prepared and determined that this will be the start of a new positive me.

We are the only ones who can control our eating habits............we can do it!!!

Good luck with your weight loss, hopefully we can share our experiences on our journey to lose the weight once and for all xx

in reply to dawn2501

I know just what you mean having yo-yo'd up and down over the past few decades but never having got as far down as I want to, always having a sticking point about half way between the highest and the lowest when I think to myself "well you are looking pretty good at this weight, you can ease off a bit" when really knowing that no I can't ease off at all - but then it goes back up again! Aargh!! This time though will be different, I am determined ...

Candystripe profile image
Candystripe

teeks01 and crazybluebear, you have already made a positive move by joining this forum......great work, that was so positive. What worked for me was buying an item of clothing that I really fell in love with and didn't fit in as I was too large, so I bought it because If it didn't fit me then I could fit it! Neither of you say what your weight is but let me tell you my story. 13 weeks ago I started out at 18 stone 4lbs. With support of this group I lost 2 stone 10lbs and just about to celebrate (yippee) with a three stone weight loss. Although I still have a long way to go, I now have so much determination because I have had to buy some new clothes and guess what, they aren't frumpy and I can look in the mirror and feel confident with myself. Please girls (if you are both girls), if you want it badly enough start now, start today and just think where you will be by Christmas. It is so achievable with small achievable goals. My first goal was to get to 17 stone 13lbs and then to 17 stone 11 lbs (half a stone lost) and then to 17stone 4lb, so on and so forth. It is so possible! Good luck to the journey to the newer you. X

Windswept1 profile image
Windswept1

nhs.uk/livewell/loseweight/...

I agree with what the others have said about trying to improve your confidence and will add that once you start to lose some weight and eat more healthily and exercise you will feel so much better & it WILL give you more confidence.

I always advocate using the 12 week plan and planning meals, using smaller plates, weighing portions & not getting too hungry.

I looked up your mineral water and was suspicious when it was made by CocaCola. It is no better for you than Coke itself!.

I drink plain or fizzy water and as Skykitty says you can add plain lemon or lime juice. Fruit tea is also calorie free and is also good chilled.

nhs.uk/Conditions/stress-an...

Might be worth looking at this as well?

Please try to be kind to yourself. Good luck, take a deep breath and change things today.

Jsports profile image
Jsports in reply to Windswept1

It was made by 50 cent the rapper who was then bought over by coca cola. Still want to drink it as your everyday drink? Stick to water :)

Windswept1 profile image
Windswept1 in reply to Jsports

I think you should have responded to Teeks who started the post with this. I wouldn't touch it at all.

Jsports profile image
Jsports in reply to Windswept1

Dw she's got a response too :)

gilly57 profile image
gilly57

You're head is not in the right place yet to count your calorie intake and keep your daily intake to a controlled maximum. Believe it or not, that's all you have to do! I know that sounds crass by the way . . . . But if you decide to do it, you will. It's not about having failed before, or about your general malaise. You have to want to do it. If it was IMpossible, lesser mortals than you wouldn't have achieved it! I CAN relate to you and I can tell you that you CAN, absolutely CAN do this. Start counting your calories today. Find your BMR with honest figures and you'll know your calorie intake per day. Porridge to start. Bananas for snacks (if you need to,) fish/chicken and veg/salad for main meals. Muller yoghurts are great. Keep a tally and if you're seriously overweight you'll have amazing results the first week. Don't think I'm being harsh, I'm being honest. Talk to yourself and if you don't really want to do it just stay as you are till you get fed up being overweight. There'll be a trigger. Keep in touch.

Jsports profile image
Jsports

No :) to the answer to your question :) sure there are vitamins in it but there is also a lot of sugar. This was actually on TV just the other day about some guy testing it in labs. Just stick to water. Ofc it's better than fizzy drinks, I cnt cut fizzy so I just have zero versions of them. Least it's 2 calories bet vitamin water is a lot more. Don't drink your calories.

If you would like some actual advise...I could tell you what to eat and give you a very good weight loss exercise program...however, by the sounds of your post your mental state and what I mean by that is confidence/motivation is what needs to be worked on first before you would even follow such a programme. No programme fixes tv binge eating until that is tackled first and your fully motivated to accomplish your goals that you set. Your going to need to do this for good 12 months + and sustain healthy living thereafter. Therefore, if you don't have true internal motivation to change your life and be able to accept, focus and work hard every single day (not just for 3 weeks) then change is highly unlikely.

I'm helping a lady at the moment and she has this motivation she's gone from taking the lift up her 15 flight of stairs...to her walking up 15 fl,ight of stairs daily. I'm now trying to get her to cut out her cream sauces and high calorie coffees. Little by little changing something always progressing. But if she didn't have that motivation to succeed then she would not of walked down then up 15 flight of stairs At 9pm at night for the first time in her life.

I hope this helps you in some way and here if you need someone. Good luck to you.

New2Running448 profile image
New2Running448

Hi teeks01, firstly, I know where you're coming from. I was 23.5st four years ago. Then I got to the point of utter desperation and decided to finally do something about my weight. I've now lost 10st so far (2st to go), have almost finished the C25K programme, and have just gone self-employed as a Personal Trainer. I've turned my life around by taking just one small step / change at a time, and just keep going. Check out my story if you want at bigpictureliving.co.uk

For me, the key is to get a few supportive friends, family, GP or nurse, Personal Trainer around you - get their advice and support. Don't be afraid to ask for help, and just keep going. Small steps, one day at a time! Go for it - life can only get better if you keep on trying :-) Hope that helps.

Candystripe profile image
Candystripe in reply to New2Running448

What an inspiration New2running448, now that is commitment, motivation, strength all rolled into one. Absolutely moving story for us to all hold onto. WOW! Am just going to check out your very inspiring story.

Candystripe profile image
Candystripe in reply to New2Running448

Just awesome SN. I don't know what else to say!!!

margrete profile image
margrete

Never heard of glaceau water.

joanne_1969 profile image
joanne_1969

i know what you mean but you can do it when you sit down and your ready to start snacking think of something that needs doing matbe washing up or hovering get up and do it .it will give you energy and stop you from snacking or if you need to snack I have found blueberries are good you feel like your eating lots of small snacks but very low calories plus by doing something it will raise your energy levels or if you have a hobby that can help I knit and it keeps my hands busy good luck and believe in your self you have done the hard part by admitting that you need to lose weight hope this helps

Tom571 profile image
Tom571

I don't smoke but my dad did and gave up using Alan carrs easy way to stop smoking. I read the book its really good I can see how it works. Alan carr also wrote the easy way to lose weight. I recommend both books even if you dont smoke, it provides an insight into addiction and how to overcome it. They should be real cheap 2nd hand on amazon or ebay or available from the library. The book has the ability to harden your resolve.

in-it-to-win-it profile image
in-it-to-win-it

I just read your post. You aren't a failure - you are a work in progress! Don't give up mate, it's a journey you're on sometimes uphill and it's a struggle to keep on keeping on, but other times you'll lose pounds, make good choices and feel really good about it. Hang on in there - you can do it!

pelj profile image
pelj

It seems as if you have most of the amswers for yourself. Maybe you should just deal with one at a time or the task might seem too daunting. I am pretty sure that someone else can't do this for you but that you will be more likely to welcome someone into your life when you start to carve out a life for yourself.

One day at a time, one step at a time. It's not easy but no-one said that it was - and if ti was easy you'd have done it, wouldn't you?

Keep going.

Jlmitch profile image
Jlmitch

The answer to your question isn't what you think. The common advice to eat les move more is fundamentally flawed. Eating less makes you hungry and reduces your metabolic rate - and therefore your body decides it needs to reduce calorie output, so you feel like moving less and eating more! So blame the diet industry/government//doctors/fake food industry!

The way to lose weight is to eat enough of the right food so that you don't get hungry and your body has enough energy - but to not eat foods that will cause your body to lay down fat or prevent your body from using fat (losing weight).

Have a read of this. There is a whole series but very useful reading if you are trying to lose weight and "failing" intensivedietarymanagement....

The diet you are eating might also be affecting your mental state? I'm sure you haven't failed at everything! Believe me you don't need will power if you are eating the right diet. (I eat low carb high fat dietdoctor.com/how-to-lose-...

I hope you are soon feeling happier and more positive.

PJS58 profile image
PJS58

Oh dear. I would suggest reading about why you behave in such a way. It is not all your fault and we are biologically programmed to eat all we can if we see food, because our primitive brain doesn't know when we will eat again. However in modern times, for most people, it will not be three of fours days time. Read about what the manufacturers put in food to make it so attractive to us. It is designed to hit the same spot that is affected by alcohol, tobacco and street drugs. If you feel an intense desire for a particular food then the chances are that you are addicted to it. For me, the change came when I realised I have to stop eating these foods, gradually the desire lessens. I have just finished "Fat Chance" by Dr Robert Lustig. He has also written "Sugar - The bitter Truth" Both well worth reading, not too easy going, but highly informative and gradually the penny drops, particularly when you realise that some of it relates to yourself. A real eye opener. There are so many really informative books out there. It is amazing where the route will take you. I have learnt so much. I have lost two stone, got rid of my bursitis, inflammation around my jaw line and the sensitivity in my teeth that I have had on and off for at least 25 years. I am really pleased. It all started 6 months ago when I saw a film called "Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead" by Joe Cross. Although most did not apply to me, I started researching, and learning. I feel so much better because of it. Good luck on your journey.

You may also like...

Frustrated with Weight Loss (Especially with Belly Fat)

losing weight because a guy on a gay dating site told me that me that I needed to lose weight and...

Overweight with high blood pressure - a fork in the road?

the last few years to lose weight and do more exercise but always failed to make a consistent...

SOMEONE HELP A GIRL OUT!

struggling to know exactly what i should be doing. ive started the Gym but god knows what to do!...

Need to get back on track 😪

with my weight loss journey. I’m just ashamed to say that every time I give it my all, I fail. I’ve...

Still no weight loss <scream>

lost weight and I still haven't joined a day to weigh in because I'm just not losing weight. I know...