Living with the enemy

I really have let things lapse. Joined this group to inspire me.

I do feel my hubby holds me back - he goes out early to organise grandkids for school, but comes back to take me to work - approx one mile journey. Then in the evenings he comes to pick me up from work !

I've told him time and time again not to do this - I want to walk.

So again this week - he reverts back to old habits. So I left him making a brew in the kitchen and walked to work, leaving the grandkids wondering whats happened.

AM I WRONG ????????

8 Replies

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  • It's a hard one, no your not wrong no but I'm sure his actions come from caring. Does he do it to help you or to keep you safe? If it's the latter some people use apps so their spouses can feel that they are safe and see that they are ok. If it's to help out is it because your getting back to exercise and he's worried. My hubby used to feel like this a bit but as time has gone on he has got used to the time I'm out but I would often get a call half way through a walk just to check I was ok in the beginning but it doesn't happen anymore, just a change of routine can take a little time to adjust so if you have been doing the same thing for a few years give it some time. Keep trying I'm sure you will find a comprise between you.

  • Welcome LillianGG

  • Aargh! Me and technology! Meant to say 'welcome' - and ask if you have a step counter. That way you can tell hubby about your goals and ask for his help. He probably has no idea he's sabotaging your plans by being kind! Good luck and let us know how you get on!

  • Great to be loved..I agree with Realfoodieclub , probably done from concern.

    I tell my husband exactly where I will be, walking..His number is on speed dial too...(My walks do not have much in the way of habitation or people).

    Maybe explain again, why you would like to do this..and compromise on..he could take you or fetch you if the weather is dire 😃

  • Gah! Yes. My OH likes to give me a ride to work in the winter as it's a 20 minute walk to the train, and it can get really cold. When it's -15 or below it's a nice treat. But his internal thermometer insists on driving me even when it's around zero. If you find a solution let me know .

  • It sounds as though you have done the right thing and just got on with it, given that you have explained what you want to do. It will be important to show him that you do appreciate him and other things he does for you, and not do the walking in an angry or sulky way.

    People can feel unconsciously threatened by a partner's fitness efforts, for a whole variety of different reasons.

  • Thank you all for your responses. I feel quite guilty now ! I know that somewhere in there he is doing it because he cares (he hides it very well though). I'm not at risk because my walk to work is very populated and main roads. I just need time to adjust I suppose.

    Lovely sunny morning - and he turns up to pick me up to take me to work ! ARRGGGHHH

  • My hubby is so supportive even though he isn't overweight. He eats the same foods as me except in a little larger amounts.

    He drags me out for walks and compliments about my face looking thinnner etc... I don't think I could do this without his support.

    Youngest daughter is also very supportive but our eldest is a huge pain in the 😀😀😀 she is gonna be 20 this year so I am hoping it is just a phase.

    Have you sat your husband down and talked? Sometimes it is good to do that and see why he feels the need to pick you and take you.

    Good Luck on your journey

    Jan

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