Tourettes Action
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My Brain Has Turned to Mush

My Brain Has Turned to Mush

It hasn’t really; I’ve just been resting it. Campaigning and having to be constantly on the look out for any issues that arise that affect us ticcers is emotionally draining as no sooner you think the condemns could think of one cruel act for us folk another cruel idea pops out of their twisted minds. Boohoo poor little Cameron and Osbourne are not going to give out any more medals at the Paralympics due to the boos. Well what did they expect? A massive thank you for the wonderful plans to take away our independence, clearly a deluded pair of individuals. On a smaller scale, in my little bubble I have created things are good, the sun’s out, the fridge is full and Bob Marley is playing. I had a blissful day on Tuesday, a day of pampering, I should do this more often as it’s good for one’s mental health, I don’t know if this is a medically proven fact but one does feel much better after one has had one’s hair cut and coloured and one’s legs waxed. In addition to this pampering I have been filling my head with non-political nonsense. I have read the grossly overrated “50 Shades of Grey” and have also found myself hooked to Celebrity Big Brother (why???!!!, The “50 Shades of Grey” bit I get but Big Brother?). During my haircut on Tuesday sadly an unfortunate event occurred. Usually it’s me who gets injured as a result of my tics, or the hairdresser makes a cut she didn’t intend to. This time it was the poor trainee who bore the brunt of the tic, one little head jerk and it’s time to get the first aider over, the poor girl cut her finger with her new scissors. Ouch. The tutor comes over, the trick apparently with cutting my hair is to cut quickly, this is the same approach that I take when applying make up, particularly liquid eyeliner, do it as quickly as possible. Whilst waiting for the hair dye to do it’s stuff I cam across a new policy from the twisted mind of Grayling, now those people who are on ESA ( Employment and Support Allowance) and are in Work Related Activity Group can be fined £71 per week for not doing their work related activities. Just to remind those not in the know, if you receive ESA and are in the WRAG group £71 pounds is what you would receive per week.

What puzzles me is what exactly constitutes work related activity. Way back in the mists of time when I originally read about these plans in their formation in the Welfare Reform Bill they included hospital appointments and taking medication as making yourself work ready. Things aren’t that black and white. When I had my Work Capability Assessment I was quizzed about any appointments I had coming up. This has also been something that has been brought up by a Job Centre advisor that a fellow ticcer who’s in the WRAG sees every couple of months. The thing is, it’s pretty standard for us ticcers to only see our consultants every 6 months and as he’s a popular guy the 6 months he writes on a little slip of paper for the receptionist to book you in for your next appointment turns into nearly 8 months. Sadly, despite what you tell them about TS they are quite bemused that you’re not, on the whole going to improve vastly from 6 (or 8) monthly appointments. Currently at the moment one of the barriers I do face is the fact that I have coprolalia, coupled with the previous experience that I have I’m having to apply for jobs that I have very little or no experience doing. I not taking any meds for tics at the moment, which would probably send shudders down the spine of any DWP employee, but to be honest I’m currently a bit of a space cadet, my brain is literally mush at the moment due to the cocktail of meds I’m currently taking, so as well as being a ticcy, shouty, sweary walking danger zone, I need to have little naps as I’m feeling so spaced out and tired. I wouldn’t be in the running for the employee of the month I don’t think. Luckily as well as my TS consultant I have a psychiatrist, this is a luxury that many other ticcers don’t have, so in contrast to seeing an employment advisor every two months pushing them to get back into work they only see a doctor about their TS every 6 months (or some other number between 6 and 10). This is just the start, wait until the work experience starts, I know in my case a full 35 hour week would tire out both my body and my mushy brain and nay hours where I’m not in work would be spent, feeling very spent out hiding in bed. There has to my horror been reports of people been sanctioned for various reasons, such as missing an appointment as they had been taken into hospital, people with terminal cancer being put in the WRAG group. I for one am dreading that time when I find myself in the WRAG group and they only way I can find out is to marry Prince Lorenzo Borghese, (see picture) I haven’t heard back yet. I’m sure he’ll say “yes” who couldn’t resist my charms; I’d be the perfect wife for an Italian Prince. I’d never need to go anywhere near Bedworth JobCentre.

On a completely different note, my dreams are still coming thick and fast and increasingly bizarre. From giant cannibalistic cartoon spiders making you late for concerts that you’re playing in, to hanging out with the cast of Rainbow after their book signing. Zippy knows how to have a good time; he could put Russell Brand to shame.

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