Possible tic attacks?

[snowflakemidnight]

Hi all,

I am a late-diagnosed autistic adult in my mid 30s also diagnosed with anxiety when I was younger, and some periods of moderate depression. I am fairly certain I have also had OCD in the past but never got diagnosed. I also have a bit of a history of mild self-harm, although it's been over 15 years since I cut myself and for many years in my 20s I didn't feel any urge to self-harm in any way. So, I thought I was over it.

However, the last few years of my life have been stressful for various reasons. I am beginning to worry I may now be developing Tourette's. Over the last 2-3 years I've been experiencing these kind of rage "attacks" in which I feel overwhelmingly angry, and I get this extremely strong urge to hit myself. I tend to shake a lot, tense my muscles and feel an urge to hit either my head, arms or thighs. I keep ending up in bruises. Sometimes I feel the urge to bang my head against a wall, or throw/break things. Sometimes when it's really bad I feel a need to actually drop to the floor and my body kind of writhes (if that's the correct word), for a min or two. I thought for a while that I was having non-epileptic seizures, but I don't think I am because most of the time, I get the urge to hit myself without dropping to the floor.

Nobody has seen any of this happen. It so far has only happened when I'm alone. The thought of my relatives witnessing it is terrifying to me. I initially thought that I was having bad autistic meltdowns, but they seem to be getting more severe and I wonder if it's actually Tourette's. From what I've read on Tourette's Action website, I can strongly relate to some of the description of "tic attacks". I definitely get that "premonitory urge" before it happens, and afterwards I feel much better, like it's a big release.

Could this be Tourette's?

Hope to hear from someone soon.

Thank you

[Bootgates]

On the Tourettes website there are many different symptoms that can be attributed to Tourettes but also to other disabilities.Generally, Tourettes is one motor and/or one Vocal tic everything else are 'extras'.

[gavsmom]

My son is the same. Unfortunately, he refuses to see a doctor, so I'm sorry I can't really offer anything that might help except deep breathing and knowing that the feeling will pass. My son's motor tics started at age 5. Vocal tics started at age 12 and evolved from grunts and shouts to nonsense/repetitive words and phrases, usually shouted. He's had so many pills pushed on him (really, all we ever got from any doctor was "Here, try this.") that he won't try anything, and I can't blame him. All any of the pills did was increase his anxiety. Good on you for looking for advice! If what you experience follows my son's symptoms, it matches an anxiety attack pretty closely, including a duration of about 20 minutes.(A really tough 20 minutes to get through!) The only things that help him are medical mj, deep breathing, and telling himself that losing his temper is a waste of his energy. To be honest, I did and still do occasionally pound on myself when I've done something totally stupid, and I had a habit of breaking pencils when I was a kid. Now every couple years or so when I know I'm going to lose it and I'm sure no one's watching, I'll just take some cheap piece of junk out into the back yard and pound the s*** out of it. The compulsion eased as I got older. I hope you find something that helps, and if you do, I'd love to hear about it. Best of luck!