A Reminder: Most of the people here don't get... - Thyroid UK

Thyroid UK

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A Reminder

June25 profile image

Most of the people here don't get paid for replying to posts. They give their time, their expertise, experience and effort for free. If you have been helped by a reply then at least tick 'like' to show your appreciation.

Some time ago I sent a comprehensive pm which took me some effort, as a reply to somebody who requested sources to buy meds. I never got an answer, not a thank you, nothing. It's put me off answering this kind of question again. I'm not working for the National Archives for Thyroid Treatment. I'm not an AI Public Information bot. I've had other similar experiences when answering queries which have been likewise unrewarding. I accept that it would be no great loss to the board if I stopped contributing but there are others, stars in my opinion, who regularly reply. I look forward to their input and I don't want to lose them because posters can't be bothered to even acknowledge the help that they have received.

55 Replies

I see my attempts to help other members as pay back for the help I receive freely and with generosity and with continuing support.

My condition turned out to be complicated and I would go as far as to say that the support I received saved my life.

I too have spent time writing detailed replies that have gone unrecognised but that is very rare and I just see it as part of that "pay back".

The generosity and kindness I've received in replies from complete strangers - but united in a common problem - far outweighs the time spent on the other. And, in finding information to share with others I've found that I've also learned something new....and there is a lot to learn!

So yes, I can see it might be irritating to spend unrewarded time , and yes, a quick click on ' "Like" in acknowledgment can be a simple courtesy... but is that why we give up our time?

This is an amazing forum, peopled by amazing people, and so long as we can remain supportive and understanding then the odd unanswered post is a small price to pay.

Thank you TUK.

My bete noire is to write a lengthy post asking a specific question. A reply then pops along with no answer to the question and a contradictory reply given which not only deviates from the question but gives less than accurate information. I think some of us need to examine our motives for being here.

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to MorecambeBay

Haha, yes that's a good one, isn't it.

Reminds me of watching the Sunday Politics shows where the visiting politician predictably never answers the question asked then dispenses the information of the day that they felt like talking about. Maybe these are the guys replying to your questions in their spare time.

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to DippyDame

It may not be why we give up our time, but it is soul-destroying all the same to be totally ignored when you've made the effort, even though, maybe, you're not feeling all that good yourself that particular day. And, I don't find it's rare. I find it's happening more and more often. So, even though it would take a lot more than that to put me off replying at all, it does make me very irritable. I'm afraid I'm no self-sacrificing saint! lol

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to greygoose

Exactly!

DippyDame profile image
DippyDame in reply to greygoose

Believe me I'm no self-sacrificing saint!Maybe it just hasn't happened to me as often as it has to others.

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to DippyDame

Maybe.

DippyDame profile image
DippyDame in reply to greygoose

...and maybe the button should read " Acknowledged" rather than "Like"...it is a tad confusing, it forces a positive response that unfortunately people may not always feel.

We're anonymous here, and transient, so I feel we have to accept people as we find them, providing no response is their worst transgression....and many are very unwell.

Otherwise, I'm no push over!

Oh and....your responses are always good enough... informative and encouraging as I've discovered.

And I think, what, is my response not good enought?

Rant over!!

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to DippyDame

...and maybe the button should read " Acknowledged" rather than "Like".

Oh, yes! I quite agree. And, there should not be the image of a heart, this isn't Facebook!

Thank you for the nice comments on my responses. :)

Too true. Something else to be added to Policy for Forum Etiquette.

I agree June but we don’t generally give to receive. It’s an exasperating part of life that people forget to say thank you

Like when you hold a door open for a stranger, and they breeze through without acknowledging you, a haughty look.......and you just know they've seen you in their peripheral vision.

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to nellie237

You got my drift perfectly. It couldn't have been expressed better. 😍

DippyDame profile image
DippyDame in reply to nellie237

I had good manners drummed into me from the time I started to speak...but I know I sometimes slip up.

Maybe I'm just antediluvian now.... and having been round the block many times I'm now disinclined to let other people's general lack of social graces bother me because I feel the problem is theirs, not mine!

We're anonymous here, and transient, so I feel we have to accept people as we find them...and many are very unwell.

nellie237 profile image
nellie237 in reply to DippyDame

"and many are very unwell" That is a very, very valid point, and we should also consider that we don't know what is going on in other people's lives.

I'm not old enough...........yet, to dismiss general rudeness as somebody else's problem. I think it should concern us all.............maybe I'll change my opinion on that, in not so many years.😊

Well said! I do believe that everyone who reach out for help appreciate the kindness of members who take the time to reply. Sometimes we’re experiencing rough times with this thyroid journey, we become fixated on trying to regain our health and in the process we slip. I’m sure I might be guilty as well. I have received more help from this forum than I have received from my endo and GP combined. Please everyone, don’t be too hard on others who sometimes forget to acknowledge the help they receive. We’re all thankful and feel blessed to receive such invaluable help and guidance. Lighten up!!!! We’re all thankful. It’s a journey, we’re all at different areas in our quest for better health.On the behalf of all those who might have forgotten the help they receive on a regular basis, I’m saying A BIG THANK YOU!!

We appreciate you spending your precious time to help us. THANK YOU!!!!!!!

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to nellie237

I usually shout 'thank you!!!' after them when that happens. lol

nellie237 profile image
nellie237 in reply to greygoose

Me too.

CV-19 profile image
CV-19 in reply to nellie237

Me three!

grumpyold profile image
grumpyold in reply to nellie237

When that happens to me after I have held the door, I say in a loud voice "you're welcome!" or "my pleasure." That usually wipes the haughtiness off their faces.

Hi

You'd think a thank you would be automatic, especially for a pm message but manners vary a lot, sadly.

Thankfully I was raised with manners so its always a head scratcher when I see grown adults lacking in simple social etiquette online or in real life, sick or healthy. Makes me think were they raised by woves? Are they self entitled and so self absorbed to say a simple thank you? If you took the time to read the response, you can surely type thank you.

I'm beyond in awe of and wholeheartedly appreciative of those that helped others. The members on this forum highlight the generous human spirit for the most part.

But also consider that most of us find our way here because we're feeling unwell.

I am guilty of posting and not coming back to the thread, simply because I lost capacity and then by the time I was feeling better it was so late I felt embarrassed.

Just because people don't reply doesn't mean they're actively being rude.

It also doesn't mean people are ungrateful.

You're absolutely right on that point. Yes, people come here because they don't feel well. But, that goes for the people that answer their questions, too.

And, I can understand about losing the capacity to go back to the question - or even forgetting you ever asked it! But, what gets me is when I respond to a question, and several other people do, too, and the OP replies to everyone but me. lol :'( And I think, what, is my response not good enought? A simple click on 'like' would have sufficed, but to be totally ignored... :(

Well, yes, that's hurtful and unnecessarily. 😞

I'm glad you understand. :)

Annib1 profile image
Annib1 in reply to greygoose

Grey Goose - where is this 'like' button? Thank you for all you and others do. Perhaps others are like me and we are not too sure of our way round the Forum?

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to Annib1

Underneath all responses, you have three 'buttons' to click on: a blue 'Reply' button, a white button with a heart in it, and 'Report'. The so-called 'like' button is the one with the heart.

At least, that's the way it is on a PC, I don't know about phones. :)

Well said!!

RedApple profile image
RedAppleAdministrator

June25, maybe this will help healthunlocked.com/thyroidu...

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to RedApple

Brilliant RedApple! Just what's needed, Many thanks for posting.

Totally agree with you. It doesn't take much effort to click on 'like', but it's much appreciated to know that someone has actually read what you took the time to write. Ignored responses are becoming more and more frequent, I'm afraid.

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to greygoose

Yes, a little encouragement goes a long way, at least with me. But a big fat NOTHING - and I ain't coming back for more of the same!

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to June25

It does indeed. It also makes me doubt myself when I get no response. But it's even worse when the next person to respond says exactly the same thing as me, and she gets a response from the OP, and I get ignored! lol Oh, believe me, I know how petty that sounds, but I just can't help it.

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to greygoose

Well, the whole thing can scramble your brains, so I get that. I recently made a reply that I felt was one of my best ever for up-to-date factual insight. I congratulated myself all evening about it because not so long ago I wouldn't have had the knowledge to write it. I got no response and no likes for it. Call me narcissistic but it would have been nice to get any kind of recognition for what to me felt like an achievement and a very good answer to the question asked.

So I don't think it's petty to care about how our replies are received On the contrary, I care about my replies so much that I don't do many and only when I feel emotionally capable of dealing with the spectrum of responses which could be disagreeable.

greygoose profile image
greygoose in reply to June25

I wouldn't dream of calling you narcissistic! You don't have to be a narcissist to appreciate recognition of your efforts. :)

I once found an old post on here where some one had written some lyrics on the theme of needy, demanding people, asking questions and then buggering off without the grace to say thankyou for the answers.... it started with :

"I'm the drive-by poster .... "

Can't find it now of course , but it was very apt and very funny.

RedApple profile image
RedAppleAdministrator in reply to tattybogle

Not on this forum, but might have been this? community.youview.com/youvi...

helvella profile image
helvellaAdministrator in reply to RedApple

That was brilliant! A song I know well, so easy to hear against the original tune in my mind.

But I kept switching to Wichita Lineman...

tattybogle profile image
tattybogle in reply to RedApple

no ,not seen that before .. what i saw was obviously based on that , but was all about this forum. Post was several years old if i remember correctly , but it's definitely on here somewhere.

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to tattybogle

Thanks to you for remembering this literary gem and RedApple for finding it.

""I'm the drive-by poster, people; here comes the twist--

I’ll make you p***ed!"

Apt indeed. But makes me feel more like wringing necks than laughing.

One thing to bear in mind is that even if the intended recipient didn't read/acknowledge your post it doesn't mean that it was a waste of time, as other people will always benefit from it.

In just 2 months I have read and read and read through the old posts on this forum, and found out huge amounts of stuff that has made this whole process sooooo much easier after years of struggle! I haven't 'liked' them because a lot are really old posts, but this whole forum is a wondrous resource, thank you :)

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to junebug7

Very helpful comment Junebug7 and I will bear that in mind. It actually does make me feel better about the issue, thanks.

Personally, I only pop on here rarely. I’m in a fortunate place where I never really felt unwell and I get bored of some of the standard replies. If someone did message me, I will reply, regardless of time gap.

It doesn't happen every day, but my pet hate is when someone writes a new post and several people contribute comprehensive replies... And then the person who started the thread deletes the post entirely.

This affects me in two ways. I could be writing a reply, then when I try to post it it fails because the thread no longer exists.And sometimes I write a reply, then I think later on that it answers a question from someone else so I could either give the person a link to the post I've written or I can tailor it for the new thread by copying some of it. Then I search for it, which takes me ages, because I can rarely remember the names of the people I reply to (unless they've been around on the forum a long time). Eventually I realise I'm looking for something that has been deleted.

Just thought of another way this annoys me. If someone writes a post that I think is really good I'll bookmark it. Next time I want to use the bookmark it fails to find the post I thought was good.

I’m afraid I didn’t thank lovely people for their supportive replies to my last post. I sort of hit a real slump for a while and needed to not think about it. I feel very guilty about this and will go back and thank everyone! It’s a horrible feeling when you slump but no excuse for not thanking! Sorry 😳😞 thank you for the nudge!! x

helvella profile image
helvellaAdministrator in reply to Josephineinamachine

Don't feel too bad! That certainly isn't desirable, nor the intention of the post. :-)

It is really a pointer to highlight awareness.

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to helvella

I second that!

Aw thank you! I have responded now, though, and feel much better for doing so. Such lovely people here and its a good reminder!! 🙂

I think sometimes people don’t respond because they may have something setup wrong and don’t see the request to respond especially the newer folks and the times differences between people also contributes to this … I dislike when you respond to someone with a clarifying question to their post and they don’t even respond they hit like so I no longer respond to any of their post and most of the time won’t even read their posts and I definitely don’t respond to combative posters that no matter whats said they pounce on the people replying to their question .. agh.

June25 profile image
June25 in reply to Batty1

Well that's right Batty. Most of us take part because we feel like it. If we meet a behaviour that we don't like then human nature is that we don't feel like continuing to participate. That's what I was trying to get across, ie. that more replies will be forthcoming from responders when they feel like it, so everybody has an interest in caring that they do feel like it. It doesn't take much to let somebody know that they are appreciated for their efforts.

This forum has been a lifesaver for me .You all get the biggest thank- you from me

I totally agree.

It also bugs me when someone comes on apparently looking for advice or input, then argues with the advice given 🤷🏻‍♀️

I am ashamed to find that I am probably guilty as charged and offer my sincere apologies to all of you whom I may have abused. It sounds like an excuse to say I am regularly stressed up to the eyeballs and short of time, and that I am a dinosaur with technology , don't go on Facebook and have only just realised I should be ticking like boxes from courtesy. I can assure you that I appreciate and admire you all for your dedication, achievements and selflessness. I do try to help others myself when I can. Recently I told a young woman in the pain clinic my son is attending about ThyroidUK and this forum and gave her a briefing about some things she didn't know. She looked so grateful. If you are out there reading this and you remember me, I hope it has made the same difference to you as it has to me.

HiI think I may have inadvertently been one of those who don't appear to respond to an answer to my question. When I was first on the forum my brain was terrible and I found it really hard to work out how to understand things. I thought that when you replied at the end of a thread, the reply went to everyone not the individual! 😳. But as someone else has said, all the advice on here will benefit others even if the op doesn't want/like or need it. I also didn't really get the heart button. I don't do social media so it doesn't come naturally!

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