I've been putting off posting because I'm trying not to brood on my health but the problems are getting too much and interfering more often with day to day living. I might not even be able to post the right words here or not in the right order because it's so hard to concentrate. But I will endeavour because this is my go to place as so many of you have helped before.
Mainly I am looking for reassurance that I'm not slowly dying. It really feels like I am and I'm not sure if it's the physical or mental problems which are the worst. I could cope if I knew there was a cute, if I knew what to do or if anyone around me family and boyfriend even cared. It's so difficult being the care giver when you actually feel like you need looking after yourself.
Latest update on what could be causing me to feel worse lately...
* Had test and scan for early dementia... Called in 9am on the Monday following the scan on the Friday afternoon told yes some frontal lobe atrophy and you need to go to the memory clinic.
More than a week later no appointment for memory clinic sent, so I spoke to Dr receptionist who out me through to patient liason service, who out me through to the actual memory clinic who said they hadn't received the referral and put me back through to PALS who said the referral had been sent and to phone memory clinic again which I did and they said they had received the referral and to phone them back of I hadn't heard by the end of the week. Couldn't get through. Boyfriend getting irritated wanted to go to Dr with me to find out why. See another locum Dr with him who goes through my results and low and decking behold it's as if I was making it up. Our the initial gp who was another locum had implied I had early dementia had only read the first line or two of the report and told me frontal lobal dementia... But this go I hadn't seen before told my boyfriend and me about frontal lobal atrophy but read further and went on to say also generalised atrophy of the rest of the brain normal, no action b required and put my memory problems and organisation problems down to my hypothyroid result which had gone up to 76 TSH. They wouldn't give me any other results. Assist from cholesterol high. Liver problems ALT significantly high band ASP 2 numbers out said have I been drinking alcohol and answer to that is no as I don't drink and in follow a healthy nutrition plan, which makes me quite annoyed that I get the health problems I do, when people I know who eat up unhealthy and drunk and they don't get I'll. I'm pleased for then but think it's unfair that I struggle even surviving and put so much effort in to doing things right.
Also, I'm still getting kidney pain. I'm drinking lots of water and able to get my itinerary clear by mid afternoon. Anyway since I've lag posted I've had the appointment with the consultant really my chronic back pain. I've got fit do and numbness and tingling, literally my nerves are on edge. I'm booked in for an MRI scan of the full spine as consultant thinks something is pressing on my nerves and he thinks there is cervical damage and let back damage.
I can't take it anymore, in to uncomfortable to sleep in up 48 hours at a time at least before I pass out our sometimes fall asleep naturally with total exhaustion.
I'm feeling so alone as my adult children who live at home stay awake all night but in their own rooms on internet. I sit alone must of the time watching TV, going on my mobile or starting into space. Even can't hold my mobile or anything in my left hand for long as it shakes and I drop things. I try making means for myself and my children or try wouldn't get it as they don't eat anything other than snacks of I don't do all the cooking and waking up and shopping. Sometimes I just can't do it so we all go hungry and then get even more fatigued.
I've taken action after having it out with then and telling them I can't cope and registered us all with the local health club. I would cancel the internet and TV subscriptions but I'm on a fixed contract.
Right now in getting tired young this. I don't know if anyone has got this far but I'm tingling all down the left side even in the face this is an almost daily occurrence. Also get tendon sick like pains and Spasm's. I don't want to wait in casualty in a seat which by the way my feet don't touch the ground when I'm sat in a chair with my back on the back rest and my legs she. It's a long wait in hospital and fifty percent of the time my symptoms are out down to scurry even though tests and and have down physical medical reasons for my symptoms. Just how much if these I presume side effects of t4 do we or can we take before we die. I feel I'm crumbling apart more physically than mentally but I'm on the edge, just feel no place to go. I've already tried to end it all unsuccessfully with the result of just making people feel angry with me and saying it's study. Isn't it selfish of people expecting me to stay when I'm useless to everyone and am struggling even to get up in the morning. Why isn't my medication working? Yes I've asked the dress but they said there's nothing else they can do. I've heard of t3 but none of the drs in Britain that I know if will test for it. I've just had my t4 due put up and I'm having the scan and have to have repeat blood tests but it's all such a long wait. I know I'm not alone. But wonder if anyone can help who had been through the same or knows what I'm talking about. I've got no choice but to carry on, I have children and grandchildren, but I think I will naturally pass away or have an accident soon. I would advise someone in my position to seek medical help but I've done that and it's not helping. What else can I do?