worried about a relative

she is very very big and I am sure it is all visceral fat, I don't know how to approach her, she doesn't like to talk about it but It is obvious it is hormonal/ insulin/ thyroid etc, and goes to slimingworld and it is not working I get so cross because it is a waste of time losing a pound evry so often an d then shoving it back on. she has gone grey early and her hair is wirery, now that is hormonal to me and it is not soft flab fat it is hard so it collects round organs.

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  • Could you approach this from all of the non weight related symptoms?

    Perhaps start a conversation about how you read something recently that suggests there are a lot more women who don't realise they are hypothyroid, some of the telltale signs are going grey early, coarse hair etc....

    I think most of us are sensitive about weight and once you hear anything which *you think* suggests even a hint of 'criticism' you tend to become defensive, and don't hear what's being said, however well intended and caring it may be.

    Recently when I was talking to a family member about hypo and the gut etc, he said you seem very defensive. I hadn't realised that I was but obviously felt I needed to be and it stemmed from my GP initially suggesting it might * just* be depression. There's a tendancy to thinking no one believes me, because we try our best to appear *normal*.

    My point being avoiding what triggers any defensive guard 😊.

  • yes good point S, she is in denial I know

  • Perhaps she also has a GP who takes the view of simply eat less do more ..... not helpful either 😣

  • I have a GP like that. He doesn't listen at all. In fact most doctors Ive seen have not looked past my increasing weight and think its all down to food (I am 100% sure its not) Ive seen dieticians, been to obesity clinic and had bariatric surgery rammed down my throat (sorry not literally). Been told to have my jaw wired and that I was depressed and disbelieved at every appointment. Ive just finished a 12 week GP prescribed weight watchers course and still weigh the same as when I started. Waste of time and money.

  • bluepettals2 the more I look around me when out and about the more I'm convinced that NHS bad doctoring is to blame for so many sickly looking, limping, shuffling, obese, oddly shaped, unhappy, downtrodden human beings.

    I told a male GP that my weight was constantly increasing, how I used to be slim and for 25 years enjoyed outdoor sports, how I'm so fat that I can't do much and spelled it for him that my weight had increased by more than 50%. Do you know what the halfwit blamed it on? My age. I pointed out to him that I wasn't stupid.

    The general public are weary, many have been failed and simply given up. What a world we live in.

  • pituitary, candida, metabolic, food intolerances, endocrine, non ancorb t3, levo, lack of vit d, who knows cinnamon girl what or wher th eproblem lies

  • bluepettals2 indeed but it's easier to blame the patient especially if female. They just cba'd to investigate and, as we all know, when you're unwell one just doesn't have the energy to fight.

    Sorry, have been moaning rather than offering helpful suggestions.

  • spicy lady- cinnamon girl please moan I don't mind, my sis NEVER goes to the doctor I know damn well she must be insulin resisitant

  • I started a new job and a colleague looked how I looked and felt. She heard me talking about starting meds for hypo one day and asked me what the symptoms were. I said I was so pleased she asked me because I suspected she was hypo too. She got tested and was. Another acquaintance, I felt, was hypo but didn't look classic. I took the bull by the horns and said to her "get tested" and she was. I've made it my mission, with women who I feel could be hypo because of their weight increases, to start talking about my history to deliberately open the door. I have never mentioned weight gain until much later, always emphasising exhaustion, dry skin, hair, rubbish nails, heavy periods etc. All the women have suspected their conditions to be hypo already and have it in the family. For your relative to be putting on weight, at this stage, will have other symptoms you can draw on. How about printing off a couple of symptoms lists by the way you are monitoring your present thyroid state and see if she takes the bait.

  • miss lilly kissies she is in total denial, burys her hea din sand the weight ha sbeen there for years she is even breathless when she walks, I am having to wait and pick my time, I have even showed her stomach bypasses and she has watche dthem and the viscaerl fat videos, at my wits end really. I think she is depressed and scared of facing the truth

  • Then the old adage 'you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink' is going on here. For your own mental health you have to remind yourself you have done as much as you can to help. Horrible though it is, the situation may only change when it reaches crisis point, then you can support her freely and help her regain her life, a new life. My very best wishes to you.

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