Insane: There is nothing worse than being... - Thyroid UK

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Insane

kjc1tisdell profile image
17 Replies

There is nothing worse than being hyperthyroidism and going through menopause . Having teenagers and there hormones in my case boys and testosterone. Having a menopausel head of year gunning for your child got a scuffle in a corridor with resulting your child being excludedec from school for four days. With a meeting to discuss his total exclusion on Friday and coincidently parents evening tomorrow to discuss how well he his doing at school with his teachers. I'm not feeling that I can cope with this. When I was phoned by school I just broke down and cried. And I think school took advantage of my vulnerability. As story from my child was totally different as he was punched in the face first and then

retaliated. I so sick of not being in control because of stupid brain fog and feel I let my kids down all try time because of this stupid condition. That has never been helped by a gp or ths blood test.

I am so angry that I have no control.

please tell there is some one out there that feels the same. How can you be a good wife and mother with this stupid stupid condition.

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kjc1tisdell profile image
kjc1tisdell
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17 Replies

Kjc,

It is a very real condition that can make you feel immensely stupid. I forgot how to work our 10 year old microwave today and this is on a good day ! !

I am sorry to hear about your sons troubles at school and your feelings of an inability to support him.

I am sure you are doing your best and assure you many of us have been through the dreadful brain fog. I had a long period of even being afraid to leave my house for fear of not remembering where I lived ! ! .. but after medicating optimal thyroid hormone replacement, now travel to London regularly on my own. The change is immense and out there for all of us. It's just a case of finding what works and keeping it going.

If it's any consolation, my son was excluded from school for fighting and ended up leaving with good results.

Things change and take heart that it is possible to feel better and keep learning from this forum.

Thinking of you,

Flower

kjc1tisdell profile image
kjc1tisdell in reply to

Both my son's are wonderful at home and so supportive they worry about me which I hate. Both do brilliantly at school. It just one person who has it in for him. Even other teachers are at a loss to as to what this persons problem is. I feel bit better this morning. I'm very angry as this person lied to me on the phone. Just got too keep it together and write down what needs to be said. I was a teacher myself before Rai but high levo levels just floored me has to Give job

thank you for your support and your story this forum is a life saver.

shaws profile image
shawsAdministrator in reply to kjc1tisdell

Jealousy is a very strong emotion and maybe that's at the root of the other person's dislike of your son.

We have no idea what the other person's home life is like that he takes his frustration out on someone at school.

I experienced, years ago, a mother's comment to her child who came home so excited and happy about something that happened at school but the mother's cool response literally wiped the excitment/happiness from the child. I and others were shocked and sorry for the child and I doubt something like that experience could ever be rectified.

I'm sorry also that your thyroid hormones aren't stable yet and hope you can eventually be sorted out with a sympathetic Endo.

Katepots profile image
Katepots

Poor you I remember that stage well.

Teenage boys are not easy at the best of times.

My son didn't finish school, long story, but in the end he became a marine and now he is 28 with his own company so school is not the be all!

Go to the meeting (you can cope) have you tried rescue remedy it helps with calm. Get it from the chemist.

Shout his corner and put his side forward to teachers who are mostly in my experience bloody unfair. Don't let them bully you, he's your child you know him best. Also state that you want the other child to be accountable too.

Show him that you have his back and you are there for him no matter what although don't let him take advantage of that!

Firm but fair works well.

The reasoning part of the brain doesn't develop until they are about 20 so this is why teenagers seem unreasonable!

You will get there, it's a crap stage that we just have to get through. Find his strengths and work on them. School exams aren't as important as you think at any age these days they can go and study.

A trade might suit him better. Plumbers can earn a fortune!

Sport is good for boys too get him started in some if he's not already.

As for you are you taking a good multivitamin specific for thyroid? It may help.

Take time for you at some point every day where you relax. Yoga is great if you can find a class.

I'm menopausal too , we get a seriously bad deal!!

Take every day as it comes don't overwhelm yourself with the future or everything you have to do in a week/month etc as it becomes too much. Cope with the hear and now it really does help. One day at a time.

Binkie profile image
Binkie in reply to Katepots

i totally agree, i was expelled in my final year at school (fighting and truant) i was allowed back just to take my exams, i was very clever child so school bored me to death. I went on to have very successful career in my chosen field of publishing, i then had complete change age 35 and retrained, i became an engineer, i am at the top of my game and respected in the industry.

Through the worst of my brain fog, exhaustion an pain with hypo, work is the one thing that has kept me going and kept me sane. I have my own company and now work from home for obvious reasons (hypo)

Teachers are not gods so do not worry about putting them in their place, my mum use to say to head master etc (she was always being called in) that i was a brilliant, clever, witty and well behaved child at home and socially. If this is not the case at school it must be schools problem for not creating the right environment for me to thrive. She blamed my fighting on the schools lack of discipline and lack of protection of kids (i loved getting into fights with bullies) I hold a lot of anger over my school days but it never held me back.

Take a friend with you for moral support.

If they try to intimidate you, imagine what they are like to the kids. if they are rude or confrontational to you, just stand up and leave, tell them you are not going to be patronised or disrespected and you will not tolerate them bullying your child, they are responsible for your childs protection...there will be a complaint procedure or ombudsman for the school, so if you dont agree with their decisions use your right to complain/get 2nd opinion.

Go get em tiger xxx

kjc1tisdell profile image
kjc1tisdell in reply to Binkie

Wow you are so brilliant

well done to you. You are describing my son actually both my son's love to address a bully and fight for the underdog. Both are wonderful and loving at home. But you are right school is not for my son or this school is not right for him

he is bored out of his mind. They seem to care more about school uniform than anything. They didn't used to have a blazer. Then they reintroduced the blazer and now get a detention if you don't keep it on insane. When he started in yr 9 his form tutor was a man now he his a she. But as a parent we were not informed that we had got to explain the change to our child. They didn't either. This school is so extreme in some things and laid back in others. How do we know what goes on in school. I know my son has a great future in whatever work he does

and I know he will make a good husband and father.

thanks again for your input you made me feel proud of you.

staruk profile image
staruk in reply to kjc1tisdell

I totally empathise my daughter is 15 bright but failing hates school when I can get her there. Being threatened with a huge fine or jail time if i don't get her to school. She wants to be home educated I just want her to knuckle me down the stress is killing me!

Binkie profile image
Binkie in reply to kjc1tisdell

i have no problem with transgender but in a school NO, he should have moved school and started afresh as a woman, bless him. I am 55 years old an have all sorts of inappropriate questions about it but am older enough to keep quite lol i have a trans friend who roars with laughter at my indelicate questions! kids are suppose to question everything. God bless the teacher and i wish him well but i feel kids should come first before lobbying an LGBGT politics.

An rats bums to the school, i was brilliant despite my school lol xxxxx love to you and your sons

fortunata profile image
fortunata in reply to Binkie

Teachers are not gods. You are totally correct there. They are just human beings who see teaching as a vocation. I was one for twenty two years. I loved my job and I loved the kids I taught. Most of my colleagues did. You would do well to remember that and not tar us all with the same brush. 😊

Binkie profile image
Binkie in reply to fortunata

unfortunately fortuna not all teachers are like you, i have very good friends who are teachers and i know it is tough but some are plain rude, lazy and should not be teaching xxx

kjc1tisdell profile image
kjc1tisdell in reply to Katepots

Thank you for your very positive reply and advice. I will fight my son's corner as he is a loving son to me and cares about me and he is always been an excellent pupil in his classes. Other teachers have showed there support for him so I will fight for him. It's one person who has taken a dislike to him but I need to turn this around on them.

thank you so much.

Just a word of warning. Be very careful about what you say to professional like doctors about not coping with your kids. The worst thing that can happen is social services involvement.

lainey03 profile image
lainey03

I'm really sorry to hear of your situation and at the same time its reassuring I'm not the only one struggling with illness (hypo and fibromyalgia), teens etc. I was the same regarding my son when he was being bullied, burst out crying on phone to teacher! I've been off sick for four months and about to hand in notice as I can't cope at home let alone work. I have been doing an 8 week mindfulness course (which was expensive but he let me pay in installments). It has been great, I feel calmer and more in control. You have to be disciplined and do it everyday but it works.

Take care and please remember you're not alone xx

kjc1tisdell profile image
kjc1tisdell in reply to lainey03

Thank you so much to you and everyone I feel so much stronger and ready to do battle.

Joyia profile image
Joyia

Regarding the helpful 8 week Mindfulness Course, try asking local Psychotherapy Departments as they sometimes run them for free. I too personally find Mindfulness extremely helpful, it is a great tool to have at your disposal when in times of stress. If you google Jon Kabat-Zinn for example there are lots of videos on You Tube.

mercybeth profile image
mercybeth

I can relate--I was going through menopause when I had to move back in with my ailing parents to take care of them. My Dad had broken 4 vertebrae in a fall, and also needed a pace maker. So I became his driver, "nurse", and physical therapist. He regained his independence, then it turned towards my Mother who was then diagnosed with Stage 4b lung cancer (in 2006). She only lived 4 months and i was with her every step of that journey. The stress was unbelievable. It was only after I got to my doctor that I was diagnosed hyper, and probably had been through all this. The only thing that helped my menopause was black cohosh (I tried everything), then when that seemed to ease, I had RAI, and was put on synthroid which I quickly changed to Armour (and now Nature-throid). While adjusting my dose, I became hyper again and found that two cups of lemon balm tea (one in the morning, one in the evening) eased those symptoms after a week or so. Got some more blood work, and am now in a much better place. My Dad passed in 2010, and I have now recently lost my brother, but the stress level wasn't off the charts (it was close to it), just major depression, which I am starting to climb out of. Hang in there, as my brother always said "do what it takes to get through", so I am. I'm getting my own bloodwork every 3-4 months inbetween my endo appointments, and gauging my dosage by the results and my symptoms. You CAN get through this--it's just going to take awhile. You are not alone.

dj56 profile image
dj56

Hi, there. First of all, let me tell you, you WILL get through this. Just don't give up. Since my new dr. changed me to Levo/ synthroid, this past year has been for me just what you described for yourself. Minus the menopause, I went through that 10 years ago, and this last year it feels like I lived through it all over again. Feeling better now, but scheduled for endo appt at the end of this month. Just hang in there. It sounds like you are a very strong person, and love your family. Be persistent with your Dr. Make her/him listen to you. Take care. I will be praying for you. DJ

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