I feel like I am going off the rails...I feel suicidal...help!! I hate this hypothyroid condition!!!!

I went to see my psychiatrist and told him about my symptoms from my thyroid condition and feel like I am going nuts! I said to him I am getting more and more moody, I am lacking energy to function and have been for years, I am unable to cook, clean, look after myself properly as I am constantly far too exhausted to function. I am unable to concentrate at college and I have failed a couple assessments and I have wasted good money on this course! I am at breaking point, my friendships are suffering, I lost my serious relationship over this illness and right now I am unable cope with anything. I have made an appointment with my dentist and looking to get my amalgam fillings removed to see if there would be any improvement with my chronic fatigue symptoms and I am hoping my autoimmune myxedema will be reversed and I am hoping my thyroid will function back to normal.

I am currently taking 80mg of t3 only just now. I have tried pig and saw some improvement but my thyroid levels were constantly low, levothyroxine is crap and never done me any purpose and i was puffy and still experiencing symptoms and my t4 was high all the time and t3 was low all the time. I tried t4/t3 combo and I was still feeling like crap and my t3 was always at the low range and my t4 was at the low range of normal. Now I am on t3 only and My t3 levels are high and my t4 levels are constantly below the normal range and very very low!

I am taking my methyl b12 5000mg, I am taking vitamin b complex from holland and barrat, I am also taking magnesium citrate, organic virgin coconut oil, 40,000 i.u of vitamin D a day, Vitamin C with zinc effervescent tablets from tesco 1000mg which I have got for a pound, Omega 3 6 and 9 oils. I have been taking vitamin E 5000 I.U, Cider vinegar x2 a day

I am still experiencing issues with not eating properly as I often have no energy to cook, I am constantly burnt out, I have a shop next door which is handy and I shop there very often and when I come home I am constantly going into flat out sleep mode and remain bedridden for days....

I am getting sick of this way of living!!! My doctor wants to help but feels powerless, the psychiatrist was like " i will keep you on my books for just now but will see you in 2 months time!" I was like em hello!!! I dont think I will ever get better!!!!!

I have been diagnosed as having bipolar affective disorder with borderline personality disorder and my psychiatrist and psychiatric nurses are soooo annnoyed with me going on about my thyroid symptoms.

I am constantly all over the place, i am very chaotic and I tried to explain to them that most of the chaos is from my thyroid condition not just from the bipolar condition itself. its all going on deaf ears right now! So it feels like to me!!!

I am getting nipped at by my close friends who are like " you always never have energy to do anything! your always lazy and doing nothing to sort yourself out....I get family teliling me your 30 now, your life is almost over and your not even working and you have not even bothered your backside to find a job! allalllllaala its like go away ( to put it mildly) I need my energy and strength back in order to get my life back on track and to get a job - although under this climate the choices of employment for someone with very few qualifications or non at all is very limited!

I really do feel like killing myself!!!! I am all over the place!!! I can't sustain friendships, I am no longer as attractive as I used to be when I had my slim size 12/14 figure and i am now a whopping size 22 and look like I have came out of a boxers ring all the time as I look completely done in all the time!! Before I had modelling agencies from FHM to babestation contacting me to do modelling shoots, I have been offered to do modelling shoots for calenders in Poland and I have been offered opportunities to do beauty pageants for miss earth, miss scotland,etc. Before I was a very active girl doing kick boxing, tae kwon do, pole dancing and just constantly partying a lot with my friends. I was very energetic too.

Now I have turned into a monster:( I dont even recognize myself!! I feel like every day is a constant struggle and every day I am closer to death - I constantly get this feeling of slowness and unable to focus on the future and constantly wondering if I will ever live another few years because I just feel like I am dying. Its a horrible feeling.

I have made an appointment with a psychologist who is going to help me with some talking therapies and some schematic therapy too.

I also got numbness in my feet from new year and although its slightly calmed down, it is still there.

Someone please please help me!!!!! I really am suffering a lot!!!!

Does anyone experience constantly feeling bed ridden? unable to cook, clean , bath or anything because you just simply feel constantly pooped out!!

32 Replies

  • Feel whatever you have to feel but just remember This Too Shall Pass. My mantra for years. I'm not very knowledgeable on the subject just the effects but hold on there. There's a way.

  • thank you so kindly:)

  • I've been there myself. Always Over the edge believed what everyone told me hypochondriac lazy bipolar spoilt brat. even now that I'm better still think I made up my own condition

  • yeah it is horrible no one really understands it

  • First of all, big hug x

    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It's utter pants. Some of this is going to be low B12, some of it thyroid - but most of it is adrenal fatigue. Stress. You're just pooped, hun. In an ideal world I'd prescribe you six weeks on a tropical island holiday. It's all just become too much and the lack of empathy from those around you is not helping one bit.

    One thing - if you're not taking T4 but taking T3, you won't have any T4 - not much, anyway. The T3 will suppress the TSH feedback loop - TSH stimulates production of T4, so without it, you don't make much.

    How high was your FT3? I see it was 5.0 a month ago on 60mcg of T3 - where's it got to now?

  • i dont know now as I am on 80mg.

    I do have posts of my blood results so I will dig them out.

  • I do take nutri adrenal supplements and ashwaghanda supplements too - it is horrible!!!

  • Have you had your antibodies checked? Or looked into supplementing selenium ?

  • my last tpo test is 10

  • Flashinthepan, it's quite normal for FT4 to be low because you are taking a high dose of T3. You don't need normal levels of T4 for conversion to T3 because you are getting T3 directly by taking it orally. If your FT3 is over range this may be why you feel exhausted.


    You need to eat regularly. It's no good supplementing and then starving for days. Porridge, beans on toast, boiled eggs, omelettes, tuna salad, ham salad are nutritious and quick to prepare for when you are flat out. Keep a couple of ready meals for one in the fridge for when you haven't the energy to cook.

    I understand how debilitating it is to be so exhausted. I spent 15 months 90% bedbound because I was in so much pain, exhausted, dizzy and breathless with palpitations. In Nov 2013 I was convinced Xmas 2013 would be my last as my life and health were so awful and prospects seemed bleak. Housework piled up because I wasn't well enough to do it and although I feel better now the house and garden are still dreadful as I haven't been able to tackle them properly.

    Friends and family can be tricky. Friends and family sometimes have no idea how up and down and exhausted one can feel. You can explain briefly that you are too unwell to go out and look forward to seeing them when you are feeling better. If they are difficult, perhaps they aren't quite as good friends as you supposed. Tell your family you're struggling to complete your course because you are so unwell but the intention is to get a qualification and look for work when you are recovered.

  • hiya thanks for the advice

    I really do not know what to eat - I hear people say quit sugar, quit gluten, quit dairy,etc,etc

    Also I have been told to avoid meats with nitrates and processed meats and so forth.....help!

    I need a wee breakfast lunch and dinner snack and supper plan for one day so I can try using it for the next few weeks.

    Are there nutritionists on the NHS? Are they seperate from dieticians or are they the same?

  • Flashinthepan, it's better to eat processed rubbish than starve and unless you know you have food sensitivies or intolerances there is no need to complicate your diet by eliminating food groups. Organic foods without additives will undoubtedly be superior to meats with nitrates etc. but if you don't have the energy to cook from scratch youmay have to eat processed food until you do.

    Porridge for breakfast + fruit. Omelette, scrambled eggs or a jacket spud (with or without fillings) plus salad or a sandwich and soup for lunch + fruit. You can bake several jacket spuds at a time and freeze or fridge some to heat through later. Grilled fish or meat and veg or salad for dinner + fruit. If you prefer a lighter evening meal swap the lunch and dinner options.

    If you ask for referral to an NHS nutritionist you'll probably be told to eat a high carb low fat diet. You need the opposite, low carb high fat/protein. Google 'healthy eating plans' for ideas.

  • Don't forget cheese and full-fat yoghurt. And cream on that porridge!

    Flashinthepan, some of your sympotms sound to me like magnesium deficiency. So maybe you aren't taking enough magnesium or the wrong kind of magnesium for you. Have a look here :


    And remember, you're not just eating to get the nutrients, you also need the calories. No calories = no energy!

    But, most important of all, none of this is your fault! You haven't done anything wrong. You are not lazy, you are not stupid, you are not making it up - I doubt if you are even bi-polar, actually! And your life at 30 is certainly not nearly over!!!! I shall be 70 in a month, and I don't feel as if my life is nearly over. I have plans for the future now that I'm getting on top of this dreadful disease! And you will get on top of it, too. honestly. It's not easy, we all know that, but you can do it!

    Friends and family can be very unhelpful, even cruel, but you have people here who understand. You aren't alone.

    Hugs, Grey

  • I well remember my husband in that state and my grandaughter was very close along with my daughter

    thankfully for them t3 started improvements and NDT did better without all the joint pains

    have you tried at least 2000mg of vitamin C

    and liquorice root tincture both are good for adrenals

  • ok I will try liquorice root tincture. I will try 2000mg of vitamin c - what is the max dose for all the vitamins that I can take?

  • you can take all the vitamin C and vit b you like without harm

    other vitamins should not be taken in excess

    just as you should not try to take liquorice root tincture more than 10 drops twice a day

    without a shadow of doubt Hypothyroid depletes every vitamin and mineral in the body

    My husband had scurvy and beri beri despite the most incredibly healthy diet which always included total wholemeal bread and 6 oranges a day before he got diagnosed with hashimotos

  • I think as you do with regard to getting your thyroid hormones sorted out, you will gradually, very gradually feel better.

    If your friends and family don't understand, what hope is it that the psychiatrist will. He deals with mental health, of course, but I doubt if he understands the lack of thyroid hormones on our body/brain. Our GPs don't understand either.

    When on T3 alone, we will have a very low or non-existent T4. It's not so important, T4, as it is only needed to convert to sufficient T3.

    I hope you get to a dose of T3 which makes you feel much better. I understand about you not being able to do your studies etc. most of us have been in that situation at sometime.

    When we are on T3 it is important not to take too much, i.e. too fast a pulse, not able to relax, too hot etc. So make sure you are taking sufficient that doesn't cause these problems, neither should your dose be too low as that, too will have the opposite effect.

    No matter who we consult, at the end of the day we need good thyroid hormones to get into our receptor cells and our brains contain the most.

    Make sure your stomach is empty when you take T3 and don't take supplements/medications for around 4 hours, so that nothing interferes with the uptake of your T3.

    Try to relax before you go to bed so that you are able to sleep well but I know how it is when your mind whirls around, thinking this or that. Everyday is a new day and a new beginning, so try not to dwell what's happened in the past you don't want to drag up bad memories. The summer will soon be here and hopefully you will be feeling much better and on a dose of medication which suits. You can then begin to diet. It's no use dieting if your metabolism is too low but you can go for, say, a 20 minute walk each day and build up until you are able to enjoy things again, i.e. buds beginning to come out, ducklings, 'new beginnings' slight warmth in air - they don't cost money.

    When you are well again you will be fit enough to do exams or study whatever you want.

  • Hi - hang in there... a lot of us feel pretty crap at times - I'm not making it up either...

    you were fit and will be again - just that you're probably not on the right treatment - there's 22 thousand of us here - why's that do you think? I've put on 5 stone since my partialT op - oh - "that's nothing to do with Thyroid" - naff off... it is! Having extra curves does not make us monsters - sod the current weight obsessed mentality! Anyway - slight emphatic rant over.... perhaps :D

    Bi-polar is often discussed here ....

    I don't see any test results - have you got some for folk to comment further ? ... (it's not all about blood 'tho) but it's one way of getting a little control over your own situation, as well as reading up as knowledge is power... and you will be the most knowledgeable about you... who else is?

    I confess to having trouble reading long posts - I've read yours 4 times - no criticism it's just me...so

    Right - apart from depressing meds which will sap the life out of you... depression is just the normal response to sickness - sleep

    you've tried various treatments NDT/T3 etc, for how long - they take awhile to work - yet you are not eating regularly - engines don't work without fuel.

    tiredness - first check iron - (ferritin is stored iron - if low too that means usable iron is low & looks at stores = please sort it - vit C aids absorption)

    B12 and folate - numbness/pins and needles, dizzy - all sorts - please test and sort too

    Vitamin D - (my fav) - joint pain & low mood everything under the Sun - please ask GP for tests and sort pronto - a lot% are low - and yet sunshine is an inferior requirement even to aspirin let alone heavy ADs.

    It's a vicious circle - low nutrients & malnutrition - a body craves vital minerals.

    You need to write it all down to stop the scattyness (well I did) - it's YOUR health there no-one better to sort it, one step at a time. Put housework & friends on the back boiler 'till you feel up to it. Good luck. Jane :D

  • I'm sorry to hear you're feeling so awful. I hope you get the answers you need.

    One thing that's worth trying is juicing. I got a Nutribullet for Christmas and been having one for breakfast every day since. It's given me so much more energy, lifted me out of depression and I've lost some weight too. They're very quick and easy to prepare and definitely worth a try while you're trying to get the medical side sorted.

    Good luck x

  • I really do understand..i have been to the Shrink too. It was Hashimoto's all along and i knew i wasn't "mad". If you are not having hyper symptoms, can you try raising your dose? T3 is raised until symptoms get better and you don't get hyper symptoms, like Shaws says. . It does not matter what your ft3 labs look like. It is normal to have a very little ft4 level. I think you are still undermedicated.

  • Hi I just read your post,I can really sympathise with you,sometimes it feels like no light at the end of the tunnel.That's often the point where there is a breakthrough snd you get some help.I have found if I have really low to go for some healing,I have had reiki,also some spiritualist churches offer healing sessions for free or a small donation. This helps bring your spirits up so you can feel.more balanced and grounded it's a bit like having your car finely turned. Healing can be a slow process, but with all the support and advice from.lovely people on this forum I'm sure you'll turn s corner soon x

  • Sorry to hear!!!!

    Have you had a 24 hour adrenal stress profile saliva test done??? I personally wouldn't take anything apart from vitamins until I had a saliva test done. The symptoms of low and high cortisol are similar. You will need to know your cortisol pattern throughout the day before taking things like ashwaghanda, licorice root etc. Worth doing a test if you haven't done so already. Google adrenal fatigue.

  • And please don't do anything to yourself. I had a family member commit suicide. I understand that you feel horrible but keep in mind that it's your body who needs healing. Figure out what's wrong with your body, find the right treatment and you will feel better!!!

  • When did you stop any T4 containing meds ?

    How are you dosing your T3 ? What times and what amounts ?

  • Hey big hugs to you , keep on these sites & you will eventually find whats right for you ! I was where you are at thought wise last summer...& then I read a post on the "Stop The Thyroid Madness" site. The lady had been desperate as was i , she gave up wheat & felt so much better from the brain fog & was sitting on the beach still fat but starting to cope. I thought why not, ill try this & I've not looked back since . It took about 3 weeks till i noticed a difference, brain fog reduced , crippling pains stopped & then i started to research & i managed to join this site. My Dr & all the others at my surgery along with my endocrinologist all insisted it was in my head ( they still do ) & i thought i was going mad :-( So after the wheat the next step for me was to get the list of sympathetic Drs from Thyroid UK. I can recommend for you sanity trying to get to a private Dr to support you in finding the solution for you & at least keep you sane while you get there. Don't give up , your friends & family won't have a clue & truly i don't believe anyone can really understand unless they are a fellow sufferer. Keep trying. xx

  • I think we all know how you're feeling, we've been there or are there still. I understand what you're going through, you try to survive in a body that seems not to be working, meanwhile you need to live and socialize and that's just too much.

    I don't have a lot of advice as I am also still in the middle of it. I try to tell myself it will get better. Also a very important thing is to live today. If I think about the future I think of what I can't do because of this state my body is in. Then I panic because what if it will stay this way forever? You see, you panic and you feel so much worse and negative. Live today, keep fighting and keep faith (I know it's hard). You've come all this way, wouldn't it be a loss if you give up now?

    As for friend and family, they will not understand. They don't feel how you feel so they can't. What helps me is to say short that I'm feeling to bad to do something and that I hope I will feel better soon. People that really care about you will support you.

    A big virtual hug from here, you can do it.

  • I feel for you, I'm still clawing back my life after a truly awful year. I'm only 33 so I understand how hard it feels especially when you feel like you should be in your prime. I used to be super sociable but I never socialise anymore.. I've managed to go back to work part time and that truly uses up my last energy along with looking after my two little ones.. we can be hard on ourselves when whats happening to us is not our fault.. I've felt like the worst mum/wife/friend but with the support of this site I believe I can be well again. You've got your whole life ahead of you, as always lots of good advice from those in the know. Keep going. Hugs x

  • How do you take your t3? do you take it all in one go? it may be worth spacing it out into 2-4 doses. not after 6pm though, See if that helps energy levels even out and it may also help your mood. The brain needs t3. Try supplements from Natures Own. They are food state. The body recognises them as food and therefore the uptake of them is better than the synthetic. You should be able to get most of what you need from one of their good multis. along with supplementing if you need high dose vit c and sublingual b12. Boil some eggs when you have energy. keep them in the fridge. Make an omelette. Eat porridge. Tinned fruit with yoghurt or cream on. Don't be frightened of fat. You can get relatively good microwave meals now. Salmon is easy to cook. Along with ready prepared veg. Also there are quite nutritious meals that are ready made so get some of them and keep ready. You need an intake of food to keep your blood sugar levels up. You will get there in the end. I take t3 only and my t4 is extremely low. My Mother was in a similar situation to you. Eventually we got her better with the right level of medication but it took a while. Do you monitor your heart rate? perhaps you need a higher level of t3?

    Hope this helps a little.


  • I have no set times sometimes i take 2 in the morning and 2 at night - i have taken them at midnight. i am often bedridden all day.

  • Flashinthepan

    Yep yep yep, I totally understand you and have been at my lowest point practically all the time, at the moment I am having a crave of sugar, currently taking Nutri Adrenal Extra, yeah cause apparently that will help, I'm tired feel past it, ugly and am unhappy beyond my wildest belief!!!!!

    I tried reiki myself, prayed my heart out and have been suicidal more than I care to remember!!!!!!!!!! :(

    I don't know what to say to you, buy try and try to keep your head up, I have no one or any form of help and support I am going it alone and have been since it all started in 2010, 5 years later I am still here against my will mind you I would give it all up in a heart beat, sometimes life can be a bitch. This disease has taken most of my twenties, I am 29 now and feel as though my life has past me by, who really knows if this will ever really get better!!!!!

    Try and speak with someone, and keep your head up

  • Read my reply. Might help

  • I was a mess for years too and am getting close to digging my way out of this hole after a long struggle. There is hope! Never give up. I've tried multiple synthetic thyroid meds and multiple NDT meds. NDT was the only solution for me, and here is what I take and how I take it. I saw a top endo for years and now a naturopathic is helping me. I am in the states, so not sure if you can get WP Thyroid where you are. It is by the same makers of Naturthroid, but has only two natural fillers and can be taken sublingually. I take 1 grain in the am, .5 grains approximately 6 hours later and another .5 grains approximately 5 hours later. Per my naturopath I am also continuing my adrenal glandulars a few times a day and she just started me on Ashwaganda. The Ashwaganda has made a big difference. Check it out. She specified 500mg 2/day, however, I had to lower my thyroid meds like she suggested first because I felt wired/anxiety when I first started it. I take half the dose a few times a day, and think that I can split the two doses into 4/day. I researched the Ashwaganda and it can increase your thyroid hormone, so spread it out. I would also recommend to try to go walking if you can. It is important to keep moving! 20 minutes of exercise is supposed to be the same as an antidepressant and I think the Ashwaganda is like a natural antidepressant. Believe me, I know what it's like showing up at the dr's office asking for an antidepressant. It's horrible and I don't feel like that anymore. I noticed a difference when I started taking all of my thyroid doses under my tounge. I also know what it's like to be with someone who is not empathetic to the hypo situation. I was so overmedicated, down a lot of weight with my hair breaking off completely where I looked wired and not myself at all. All he had to offer was to get abusive with me, so I dumped my husband of 17 years almost 2 years ago. I'm sure the stress from that relationship affected my thyroid situation. Stress is bad. Surround yourself with good people with empathy and good luck!

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