Stress and more stress.

It just seems to be never ending. A couple of days ago it was my 92 year old mum having a go at me, she was really horrid. She has never been a mum leaving us when we were toddlers then when I was just 15 and my youngest brother 12. Always out at night, we brought ourselves up. 3 husbands and a lovely no worries life. Now my poor older brother has to drive there regularly to shop and such. His health is not good.

Youngest brothers wife has Alzheimer's .

Me I have 5 children, diagnosed Parkinson's 2010, I have arthritis in my right hand and diagnosed hyperthyroid Nov 2013.

I have a son with Huntingtons disease who lives alone and copes really well considering. A daughter 8 months pregnant who doctors are concerned about at the moment.. Another son who separated from his partner and we had months of hassle from. We ended up having my grandchild for 3 months because of her drink problem.

When will my life be stress free, so that I can try to improve my health.

I have avoided conversations on the phone to my mom the last two days. She has caused me anguish all my life. For the first time ever I could cut her out of my life and not worry..

Just had to tell someone today has I am on the verge of tears.

Thanks for reading

[MaryF]

Please ring up your very best and trusted friend.... and have some time out with them away from it all, we all need to re charge batteries otherwise or life as a juggling octopus can become too much! Best wishes to you. MaryF x

[PinkNinja]

Great advice from MaryF. Time to look after yourself for a while. You can't do it all and you certainly can't help everyone else while you are poorly yourself. Perhaps look after yourself for a little while so that you can look after your loved ones when they need it.

It's good to get things of your chest. Sometimes just telling someone makes it all seem a little more manageable

Sending you virtual hugs.

Carolyn x

[Clutter]

Cicely, brilliant advice from Mary. Avoid speaking to your mother until you feel less stressed or you'll end up in row.

Contact social services to see whether your mother is entitled to any help to relieve the strain on you and your brother. Perhaps online shopping would help your brother. He could order the shopping and just be at your mother's to take delivery and put away the shopping.

[Hidden]

Thank you for your replies. My mother does have carers but kicks against them doing anything for her. She has always been difficult. A business woman who ruled the roost.

Somehow she has done whatever she wanted and not cared whom she has hurt. She has never had tact. Ruined all her life by a doting father and 3 husbands who put up with a lot.

Difficult to explain.

I shall avoid her. There are people around if she needs anything, she is not ill just old.

Thanks for the advice, x

[lunamoona]

You have a lot on your plate right now, anyone would feel stressed in your position ((hugs)).

I too have a difficult mother who stresses me out and that is with us living in different countries! I've had a life time of mean comments, harsh treatment and accusations. I have found her easier to cope with these last couple of years, not because of any change in her behaviour but because I've decided that anyone who treats their child so badly must have a mental illness. I tell myself it's not her fault, she's ill. This isn't about making excuses for her, it's about me not taking it to heart. It kind of works for the most part.

Hope you feel better soon

[eeng]

Sounds like your mother might have a narcissistic personality disorder. She feels the need to control everyone around her. She is not your problem, and all your children are adults now. Take a week off from trying to look after all these people and try to get away somewhere where you can't be contacted (some impoverished friends of mine just spent £49 on a caravan by the sea for 4 nights - it needn't be expensive if you are stretched) . You clearly need a break and will be much more able to help others when you are less stressed yourself.

[TSH110]

She sounds a total mare! I am amazed you still have anything to do with her you deserve a bloomin medal! But as the others say you must ease off for a bit. I guess she is tenacious hence her longevity and she deffo has a narcissistic personality disorder as eeng has noted.

I am so sorry about all the other problems you have right now I hope things get better soon all that lot it is enough to floor anyone....you must have got her tenacity to withstand it all for sure but not the less than desirable traits .