Bad bad bad flair-up : I literally have... - IBS Network

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Bad bad bad flair-up

BlackIsleGirl profile image
27 Replies

I literally have nowhere else to vent this so thank you for this safe space and for letting me write it down.

I'm having a flair-up. A big one. A curled up crying on the bathroom floor level flair-up. I'm on my own with my 17 year old stepdaughter because her dad is away on a 10 week training course he has to complete to get his next promotion and I've just scared the sh*t out of her (sorry bad pun) because I've managed to hide the worst of my symptoms since she came to live with us and she's never seen me this bad. I scared me too because I haven't been this bad for a long time and it literally hit out of nowhere! I mean I was fine, getting ready to go out to my class and WHAM I'm doubled over on the loo hugging the puke bowl and crying with the pain! Now, instead of having a fun evening with my friends I'm in bed, full of medication and feeling like the worst stepmum in the world cause I adore that girl and I scared her!

And I'm angry! I may not be perfect but I don't think I've been bad enough to deserve this. And why should people with IBS just have to live with it? I mean you get diagnosed and they hand you a repeat prescription and that's it, go live with it!

Anyway there you go. that's my rant for what it's worth. I realise there worse of than me and I realise that I'm pretty lucky in loads of ways and I realise I'm feeling sorry for myself but what can I say, this is life with IBS 🤷

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BlackIsleGirl profile image
BlackIsleGirl
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27 Replies
Luisa22 profile image
Luisa22

I think everyone with IBS is entitled to feel sorry for themselves when they are going through a horrible flare up. And you're right, most doctors just send us away with "take imodium"...or give us a low Fodmap leaflet once they're sure we have IBS. Then we're left alone to work out how to get through each day.

I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

I hate how flares can come out of the blue too, and they sometimes do.

I am sure your stepdaughter was more scared FOR you, than because of you. It gave her a shock I suppose, and you do sound as if you are very fond of each other. But now she knows what IBS can be like. You have been hiding what you've been going through probably too long to spare others feelings.

Did you eat something the day before that was a trigger food? It will settle down most likely in a couple of days on the BRAT diet or bland food only when you feel like eating.

Take care xx

Viklou profile image
Viklou in reply to Luisa22

Sadly with any long term condition you have to live with it. I just think there are far worse people out there than me. Yes we have bad days and some good ones too. Fingers crossed your pain eases soon. It's horrible when it happens coming out of both ends and the pain I can relate too. Hope you start to feel better soon xx

BlackIsleGirl profile image
BlackIsleGirl in reply to Luisa22

Thanks.

Nope not eaten anything that I shouldn't. I'm just recovering from COVID so I wonder if that's been the trigger. Still in a bit of pain this morning. Was really hoping to get back to work today but maybe not. I might just get a quick check over at the docs (if I can get an appointment) just in case.

Had a chat with my girl and she's okay and told me off for not telling her how bad it can be. She's a good kid and I'm lucky to have such a good relationship with her.

xjrs profile image
xjrs in reply to BlackIsleGirl

If its any consolation this doesn't sound like IBS, particularly when you mention "hugging the puke bowl". COVID can mess up the gastrointestinal system, so it my have given yours a bashing. Hopefully things will settle soon. Maybe support yourself with a good probiotic? Take care.

BlackIsleGirl profile image
BlackIsleGirl in reply to xjrs

Unfortunately, when I have a bathroom floor level flair-up then throwing up is just an additional joy added to the mix. I think my body just wants everything out of it as quickly as possible and doesn't care what route it takes 🤷

Doc confirmed this morning that the current variant is giving people with gut issues a hard time so it's probably COVID that's triggered it but he's checked my bloods for signs of inflammation or infection just in case.

Inksplat profile image
Inksplat in reply to BlackIsleGirl

You are so lucky to be able to get a doc to check you over so quickly. Are you in the UK?

BlackIsleGirl profile image
BlackIsleGirl in reply to Inksplat

I am and yes, never had an issue getting an appointment with this practice and always found them helpful. Huge improvement on my last practice who were dreadful. Guess I just got lucky!

meadfoot profile image
meadfoot

Sorry to hear you are suffering. This IBS game is dreadful. So tired of it and as you say we are left to get on with it.

Bull-dog21 profile image
Bull-dog21

I hope you feel better as the day goes on ! It’s terrible and I sympathise with you ! Take it easy rest up take your meds and hopefully you will get done relief

Arpin profile image
Arpin

Hey I guess now you ranted and I do get it your settling a bit full of meds We all get that IBS is maybe the worst but we have to cope Bathroom floor level means you need to see your doctor for review of plan of care and maybe meds If you can try meditation Yesterday found most of us in 100 degrees curtains windows shut and stifling God only knows how we coped with a flare up in that climate Myself I put cold compresses on lay down under a cold fan and played meditation music I fell asleep

I always say IBS you are not in control however hard you push me and I repeat it till it calms, getting the message

You survived your flare up and you will again you know that

Now your girl, In her life she will encounter a lot better a lot worse sadly than seeing you poorly It had to come out cos you can’t hide IBS It’s an arrogant disease who loves to show off bringing you to your knees Sit her down don’t apologise for being you just go through what you have and how with her help you can deal with it Don’t scare her just educate her She will learn to help you cope It’s what we all should do Like being here you asked for help and we answered

You are brave You got this You can and will stand up to it when it next visits The more you get tensed up the worse it becomes

Your a survivor however hard it gets Doctors don’t know the answer and that’s our last go to place for help and we feel let down because we put all our faith in them They aren’t magicians they are still learning about our condition so we look to self help and sites like this one

I really hope that your flare up is now past and your enjoying in between the next with your daughter who will be a stronger person for helping you What a great bond you have

Keep up the fight don’t let IBS take your strength

🧡

Winke profile image
Winke

Good for you it helps sometimes just to have a good moan .I have had stomach problins for the past 63 years and sometimes i wish there was a little switch and you could flick and go ,But hey i am 83 and still moaningLOL

Arpin profile image
Arpin in reply to Winke

Winke you are my hero !!What an absolute ⭐️ star A credit to all us IBSers You are inspiring 🧡 Thankyou

I just love all your positivity 👍

BlackIsleGirl profile image
BlackIsleGirl

Thanks all, was feeling particularly sorry for myself last night but feeling a lot more positive this morning. Had a chat with my girl and she's okay but told me off for not telling her how bad it can be 😂 made me wonder who the parent is 😂 she's a good lass and I'm lucky to have such a good relationship with her.

Just back from the docs and he tells me that this latest COVID variant is particularly hard on the gut and he's seen a lot of IBS sufferers having a hard time with it. He's done a blood test to check in case there's an infection or inflammation in the gut but other than that it's bland foods, plenty water and come back/call NHS24 if I get really bad again.

What joy IBS is!

Please don't blame yourself for your predicament. It is not your fault. Also, I understand totally how you feel, especially in regard to the way you have been treated by your GP. Mine was pretty much the same. You have come to the right place. Look after yourself.

corpgov10 profile image
corpgov10

It's about lifestyle changes rather than continually seeing the doctor for meds = plaster aids not tackling the underlying cause. Yoga, exercise, religion, clean living...do whatever it takes to prioritise your health. Nothing, not even earning money, is more important.Things start changing for the better if you are prepared to make holistic changes and not rely on doctors. They have not once helped me other than to let me know I don't have cancer of the bowel. 99 per cent of people here I'm sure don't have life threatening conditions, so why keep seeing a doc? What for?

BlackIsleGirl profile image
BlackIsleGirl in reply to corpgov10

Thank you but I don't think you realise how unsupportive and judgemental your reply sounds. You've basically just told me that this flair-up (which has been confirmed by a medical professional to have been triggered by a COVID infection by the way) is my own fault because you've decided, with no information to support that decision, that I don't prioritise my health or eat properly or take exercise or what ever else you feel I should be doing. I'm sure your intentions are good but I don't need judgement from people who don't have all the facts right now.

Arpin profile image
Arpin in reply to BlackIsleGirl

Glad you are sounding so much better now Yay Try not to take offence everyone treats their condition in their own way but I always find if someone can’t talk kindly don’t talk at all or at least think would I appreciate getting a reply that knocks someone back ?It’s hard enough dealing with any problem health wise and this site is here to support and encourage Your in good hands here BlackIsleGirl as we all are and after all almost all the replies were lovely 🧡

elenak profile image
elenak in reply to corpgov10

I don't recommend seeing a doc for a life threatening condition .. (here in the U.S.) they and hospitals are strongly correlated with death and.

However, to be honest corpgov, I suspect most here with a chronic disorder like IBS that kills much more slowly, and drains the life out of people by depriving them of the ability to live life fully, or how they would like, or to be able to be there for others. I know I would rather have a life threatening condition and know it would be over in a week, month or year.. and just be able to numb the pain and live it up, then to go on merely existing as I have for a decade, and possibly another decade or 2 .. in pain for which there is no relief, energy to do basic daily tasks on a good day; and no end in sight, and unable to participate in social events for fear of a bowel accident, or travel.

However, I have to say, I'm rather impressed with what the U.K. docs are doing for people with IBS and related symptoms. .. it seems they at least offer some things.

Houseofpain profile image
Houseofpain

I feel your pain and I hope that things improve more rapidly for you now that you've had a little bit of a support from your doctor. I appreciate this is not enough in the long term and as a someone that suffers with BAM and IBS as well as several other health issues, when I say I feel your pain, I honestly do. It is shit, literally and metaphorically.

Arpin profile image
Arpin in reply to Houseofpain

Your last sentence wraps it up in a nutshell Well done and thanks I love someone who gets to the point It could be the IBS slogan? 🤔👍

Lamly profile image
Lamly

I fully understand how you feel I have had dreadfull I B S symptoms for two now, none of the Doctors seem interested, they leave you to suffer and sort it out on your own, I have tried every pill and potions there is, I have spent a fortune and am still no better, in America they have found a cure I wish I could get my hands on it, I am tapering down from Amitryptiline I have wondered if it is made worse by withdrawel, anyway I am so sorry that you are suffering so bad, it really does ruin your life and can be very scary and just wears you out completely, do you take anything when you have a flare up the trouble is we don’t know how long these flare ups last, I am sure the step daughter will understand and yes it must scare her, just hang in there it will eventually go and you might not have onother one you can contact me anytime for a rant it does get rid of some of the tension. Good luck x

BlackIsleGirl profile image
BlackIsleGirl in reply to Lamly

Aww thank you!

Things are much easier today and I've managed back to work today. Thankfully I work for the NHS so they're very supportive.

My stepdaughter has been great and we've discussed what to do if this ever happens again so I'm feeling much better there. I'm luck to have a great relationship with her. I always beat myself up that I'm letting her down because so many people have in the past and I've had to work really hard to build her trust and confidence.

IBS can be such a frustrating disease. The only thing I've found that helps is ginger tea - seems to reduce the bloating and pain - and a hot water bottle. The hot water bottle is not a great option in this weather though 😂

You said there's a cure in America. I work in medical research and have heard about this. Do you have any more information? Believe me, I'd give my right arm for a cure!

elenak profile image
elenak in reply to BlackIsleGirl

I live in America - and trust me, there is no cure! In fact, when I read this forum it seems like your health care system does a lot more for IBS and at least there are some docs who offer some treatment or care. Not all or enough I'm sure, but it seems better than here. They will offer the toxic miralax (propylene glycol) - there is a ban for children while they are looking into it's lack of safety), tell you to eat fiber (horrible for most of us), and do a lot of tests until your insurance is used up then tell you to "live with it". I've seen every GI doc in every system in my area, and even went to the Mayo Clinic, the supposed #1 in GI care. Saw a dietician there - a 'specialist' in GI issues. She told me to eat. That's about it.

If you've heard about "the cure" .. do tell. Although I think there won't be just one b/c I think IBS is a constellation of problems .. i.e some have D, some have C...

BlackIsleGirl profile image
BlackIsleGirl in reply to elenak

I think we are all so desperately for a cure that we'll believe anything we read. I've seen so many people saying they've found a cure or heard or a cure and it never turns out to be what they say. Sometimes it's wishful thinking other times it's just pure greed. It's soul destroying.

Lamly profile image
Lamly

Oh I am so pleased and your step daughter sounds great, when you are is so much pain the world seems an awful place, I have decided to go private to have my fissures and piles done I really can’t stand the pain any longer, NHS don’t seem to want to know, I have been saving for a luxury holiday when I feel well, I would sooner be pain free than a holiday that will soon go by, I could not cope with a holiday the way I am now anyway, and they can fix the problem in a couple of weeks. I have suffered for months. Good luck to you x

Arpin profile image
Arpin in reply to Lamly

Good luck Lamly Very brave and wise decision but really there was no contest there as you couldn’t go on a holiday that would probably be filled with anxiety and all the many joys that come with being poorly No your body comes first and from there everything else falls into place 🤞 Keep us posted

Take care cos we care

🧡

Lamly profile image
Lamly in reply to Arpin

Thank you so much, I feel sure I have done the right thing.

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