Very worried and sad: I write from time to time... - IBS Network

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Very worried and sad

Roukaya
Roukaya

I write from time to time and as I live alone I find myself feeling overwhelmed and exhausted with anxiety and sheer fear

I only have my Mother who lives abroad and was due to visit me today but had to postpone her trip given the risky nature of Coronavirus

Deeply sad as I do not work and for the last three years been trying to obtain a PostGraduate Diploma in Elderly Care law and a work experience work placement

At the age of fifty I am trying and it is something I hold dear but the worry over my Mother who lives overseas alone and myself also alone makes me question the purpose of my life in UK

I am sad and tired and if I continue to try without s see any success I will realise this is simply not meant for me and I will give up

I feel like my life is going no where

My sadness and anxiety as well as loneliness

Will cause IBS

I would be most pleased for someone to kept in contact with me during this turbulent times

30 Replies
oldestnewest

I am here for you Roukaya. As scary as it is right now, we will come out on the other side. Thinking of you. 🤗

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Krn210

Dear Krn 210

Thank you for replying to me

How are you coping

How is your IBS

Being alone and isolated does not help but I appreciate your kind reply

I expect we should take day by day and trust this terrible virus will calm down eventually

Krn210
Krn210
in reply to Roukaya

I am doing ok. I have my moments where I get upset but thankfully have been able to talk myself down. My IBS has been ok. 🙂 You are right, day by day is the best approach. Easier said than done I know.

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Krn210

I think it is important to calm ourselves

I know that I worry about my Mother as she is on her own overseas

I spent six years caring for my Father and I am mentally exhausted and this is why I struggle to make something of my life

This is why I question the purpose of my life

Krn210
Krn210
in reply to Roukaya

Sometimes I think we worry too much about the big picture. I know that I too have been hyper focused on what exactly my purpose is. I have been stressing about it. Recently I started listening to an audiobook in which the author says that we worry about it and never do anything because we are focused on the big picture. We need to break things down into smaller ideas and steps. You said that you are taking steps to get your diploma which is great! While you are waiting for your diploma are there other things that you can do in that area in the meantime? Or are there any hobbies you enjoy?

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Krn210

Dear Krn210

Thank you for your reply

I am trying to study for Wills and Probate which is an on line Post Graduate Diploma

I started studying for this in 2017 and I have failed the exam three times two of which were near misses

I volunteer at Age Uk and give telephone advice once a week

I used to go swimming and attend the Gym but I will suspend this due to the Coronavirus

I used to go for day trips all over England again postponed due to Coronsvitus

As I studied and failed the exam due to spending much of year overseas as my Mum lives overseas I decided to remain in U.K. until I sat for the exams in May and Sept and this is why my Mother had decided to visit

Again postponed due to the risks

It is the loneliness and anxiety which causes my sadness

Krn210
Krn210
in reply to Roukaya

Oh my gosh! You are so busy! You have so much purpose!!! I understand how frustrating failing the exams can be. You will pass, just keep trying! You’ve got this!! I am always up for talking if you are feeling lonely. I know it isn’t the same as seeing someone in person, but sometimes a little chatter goes a long way. 😁

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Krn210

Dear Krn 210

I would like to thank you for being supportive

Given the impact of the Coronavirus, I do not wish to elaborate much more on my concerns

I suffer from loneliness and isolation and this is why I feel like a beggar needing some one to talk to.

I hope you are keeping ok

In this worrying climate take care and look after yourself

Krn210
Krn210
in reply to Roukaya

You definitely aren’t a beggar, so please do not feel that way. I am up for chatting whenever I am able. Seriously. You take care too, and don’t be afraid to reach out

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Krn210

Dear Krn210

Thank you for your kind reply

I hope to keep in touch as you have given me support and understanding today

A nurse who runs her own business once said Health is Wealth

How right was she

Kind Regards

Take very good care of you

IBSNetwork
IBSNetworkAdministrator

We understand. Please get in touch if you need us. theibsnetwork.org

Dear Roukaya

I’m so sorry to bear about this situation- please don’t give up - this will pass.

I’m a psychotherapist in the U.K.

I am offering free zoom check in sessions for people isolated and struggling with covid 19 issues. If you give me your email address I will arrange one with you.

You’re not alone

D Christina

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Mimi1966

Dear Mimi 1966

I hope you are well

I would be most pleased to have a session with you

Could you give me your email address address first as I have been advised by the Admin team to be careful as to whom I give my email address to

Thank you

Mimi1966
Mimi1966
in reply to Roukaya

Hi I don’t want to put my email address on here for same reasons

Are you in U.K?

I’m on the counselling directory postcode HP27

Under Donna Christina

Please do get in touch

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Mimi1966

Dear Mimi 1966

I have been trying to look you up in the Counselling Directory

I find the name Donna Savery in your post code

Is this correct ?

I would be pleased to hear from you

Mimi1966
Mimi1966
in reply to Roukaya

Yes please contact me through the directory

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Mimi1966

Dear Mimi 1966

Thank you for your reply

I have replied via your website on the Counsellors Directory and I hope to hear from you

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Mimi1966

Thank you

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Mimi1966

Thank you for listening

Thanks for unravelling and making myself feel a lot better

Thank you for kind words of understanding

Hi Roukaya,

How are you doing now? Things are very frightening but it will pass and I think quicker than expected. We will get through this and look back with relief once it’s over. It must be really hard not being able to get out and exercise. There are loads of videos on you tube, not the same but still good. I’m thinking about you.

Roukaya
Roukaya
in reply to Capri20

Dear Capri

I hope you are well

I find the on going explosion of Coronsvitud to have a far reaching implications

I am beginning to realise that as I am on my own I find coping by myself a struggle

I only have a Mother who lives overseas and now I realise at fifty how much can I lean on an elderly Mother

I have failed my exams by s narrow margin and it is due to the pressure on the day

I should be applying for a weeks work experience

Again I have learnt that I have been marginalised and put aside this is why I did not succeed so many years ago

Again I now feel that I really struggle to cope with a turmoil of emotions

On one hand to believe in myself the other says why bother

This is why I struggle

I hope you remain safe

Hi Roukaya,

I’m really sorry that you failed your exams. If it was only by a narrow margin though then would you try again as surely that means you could pass next time? I decided a few days ago when I was feeling sick and anxious that I just have to be positive to avoid falling to pieces so I’m trying to look at more positive posts online, funny stuff etc. I do believe amidst all the selfishness we’re seeing that there is also a lot of good, people looking after the more vulnerable, setting up online classes etc. My ibs has made me realise how much our emotions affect us physically. Is there anything you can do from home to try to lessen your anxiety? It’s hard when you’re worrying about an elderly parent though.

Everything passes and this will too.

Dear Capri

I hope you are well and thank you for replying to me

I think in my view what is causing the increased anxiety is the fact that I have not worked for many years by caring for an elderly Father and managing his property portfolio which almost faced bankruptcy

Now as he has gone I only have an elderly Mother who lives overseas

I am reliant on a small property which I rent and this is my income

The tenants leave next months and I suppose I am worried as to when I would be able to find new tenants

I learnt that my Father in his old age was very ill and unable to manage his finances and was involved with a younger woman who took full advantage of an elderly and mentally unwell person

I protected Dad as much as I could and tried to salvage what I could

He died two years ago but it was a process that has taken its toil out of me

I am aware of this looming crisis that it will have a severe impact on people’s livelihoods

I will have no choice but to utilise some of my resources until I find a tensny

Also if I was working I would not be so anxious

I hope you are able to manage emotionally and financially

Hi,I’m no miracle worker,but I just read a Psychotherapist has offered to help you,and neither of you want to put your email address on here. Understandable so. But do you realise you can both go private on here.

Just a thought.

Thank you for reply

I have contacted the Psychotherapist in confidentiality

Oh good,I hope you feel better soon.

Hi Roukaya

I'm sorry to hear things are so rough right now. Social support is so important. You're not alone...the people here are super supportive.

Hoping you find the connection you're looking for both on this forum and in your everyday life.

Sending you my best regards

Narelle

Thank you for being kind enough to answer

Of course, despite how it feels sometimes, we are not alone. We are all connected and need each other. The current global health crisis is demonstrating that in so many ways.

Very well put

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