IBS Network
20,548 members7,001 posts

Have severe IBS-C, enlarged spleen, losing tons of weight, someone made a mean comment, made one back..embarrased..can anyone relate?

Hi, I live in a group home with 31 other women. I have lived here since 2009. Some if not all the residents come and go, but some have stayed. These residents have been used to seeing me at a heavier weight, I was not "fat" or considered "obese" but overweight..all the same. I had at that time borderline Diabetes. However, I was happy with the way I looked, had several friends, very active, on the go alot, went to outdoor concerts, just a happy person..lonely at times, but otherwise happy. It all came crashing down in April 2017, when I went cold turkey off prescribed Opiods for degenerative back pain (ruptured, bulging disks, sciatica, bone spurs). Tired of the constipation from pain meds, muscle relaxers, etc. However, I have not been the same since. My digestive system went into shock I guess and just shut down..I am more constipated than ever, and have cramping even though I am on Levsin and Bentyl. I was on pain meds 15 years. (lowest dose). I have not recovered over a year later, and was diagnosed with IBS-C, enlarged spleen, hernias, etc. I have lost alot of weight..too much. Please don't tell me I have an eating disorder, I do not. My appetite is very healthy, and I do eat. I just can't eat pizza, Taco bell, burgers, fries, cookies, donuts, like I did before. When I was overweight, no unkind comnents, except from my Dad. Most residents here are overweight. Now, I am very thin, too thin..I eat, but I don't think my system is allowing to absorb the nutrients from food. I am seeing a dietician and Hematologist..to rule out cancer. Even my hair is falling out. I look as if I have aged 15 years, when before I looked very young for my age. I am embarrassed to go out. I have a thin friend who tells me, I need to have more confidence, that skinny people look good too, and too just be happy. I get about 20 mean comments a day..about "skeletal" "you're so thin, do you eat?" you are so skinny" and the list goes on. Normally, I try not to sink to their level, but yesterday, enough was enough, someone coming out of laundry room, who used to be my closest friend here, said "you are so skinny" ..I said "if you keep running your mouth the way you do, you would be in good shape too" she just stared at me. I don't care. She is overweight and a mean and negative person, and I am only human and got angry. Now, I feel embarrassed. I should not have said that..I'm so ashamed. I'm not like this. Thanks for listening.

3 Replies

Wow, you have a lot going on! It must be so overwhelming. Don’t beat yourself up for losing your cool. Just explain yourself calmly to your friend with only as much detail as you want to share. You’re human, under stress and reacted and now you’re sorry. Just a sincere apology. If she doesn’t understand it’s her problem not yours. I hope you feel better soon.


People can be mean sometimes, but it's because they cannot put themselves in your shoes. They only see what their eyes tell them, not their heart. No one knows what you've been through and only a few have the will and the courage to understand.

If that woman really cares about you, she will understand why you spoke to her that way and she won't hold it against you. If she does, it means she is not worth being your friend. You don't need toxic people in your life.

I wish you regain your balance, mentally and physically and have a total recovery.

1 like

Thank you, I really appreciate the encouragement, and I hope you are doing and feeling well. Good to hear from you.


You may also like...