Helping a Friend With an ED

[celestw]

Hi everyone, I came on here because i need some advice. I don’t have an ED but i have struggled with disordered eating in the past. One of my really close friends is currently struggling with an ED. She always comes to me about how she’s fasting, counting her calories, restricting herself, purging, and starving herself. I really want to help her and i’m trying to help her but I don’t know what to say and i’m afraid of saying the wrong thing and upsetting her. When i struggled with my eating i didn’t have anyone to ask for help so i don’t really know how to help other people. I worry about her every day but i don’t want to seem pushy or anything. I just never know what to say or how to help her and I feel so useless. I’m afraid that if i don’t say anything something will happen to her and it’ll be my fault. And on top of that sometimes when she mentions stuff like this it kind of triggers me but i don’t want to jus tell her to stop telling me because i’m really the only one she opens up to about her ED. I’m not sure what to do i’m just scared, any advice?

[Jcwy]

Hello, that is a lot for you to be dealing with!! So let me start by saying that I as well suffered from anorexia from the age of about 12-16. I’m 38 years old now and it is still something that I have to navigate through. Like you I did not have any help or support for this when I was going through it. If I may ask how old are you and how old is your friend? Starting about 3 years ago my now 15 year old daughter started to display signs of anxiety and depression. She would tell me she felt so depressed and I would try to help her in anyway I could not fully understanding the level it was at. Over the course of 3 years from her being 11-12 years old to now at 15 years old we have been on a roller coaster ride of a living nightmare. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety in February of 2020 right before the pandemic hit us. Getting help to begin with was a literal nightmare. You hear about all the help there is but it is not. Things went from bad to worse and worse and in March of this year she was diagnosed with anorexia. She was admitted to the hospital for a month and was in patient at a facility and is now currently in her 4th eating disorder program. Because she’s underage of course she has no choice but to get help. The problem is if your friend is over 18 she can say no or sign herself out. Please contact me if you need to!!