It's been 13 days since surgery. I'm healing well, all staples, etc removed. I'm told it's stage IIIb. I see doctor on March 2nd to decide on which course of chemo I will choose. My daughter and boyfriend and I are thinking the on trial course. I'm 65 years old. Relatively healthy, had Lupus now in remission and Hep C which was cured with Harvoni treatment and have viral loads of <0.0% for 2 years. I'm not choosing the most aggressive chemo, not physically able for that.
I'm really new to this myself but I have been my family's caregiver for every member who had cancer, 6 of them over the last 14 years. I know how this goes, I research everything, go to all dr appt, help them through each stage of their treatment emotionally...but now it's me. Everyone in my family after all the treatment and positive reinforcement has passed, my late husband just 4 years ago.
Basically, I'm a very up beat humorous positive person but I'm scared. Going through DABDA. You know denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. Anger and why me is where I seem to be. Therefore, I'm seeking a support group is to exchange information and vent and learn about groups that will help me understand and give me some guidance.
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Honrath
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Hi Honrath, welcome to our lovely support group, you'll find ladies and their supporters here who, from similar personal experiences, will be able to help you. I think one of the best things about this group is that you can come and share just about everything, you can rant and rage, laugh and cry or just be giddy, anything you want, nothing is too big or small.
I can really understand the 'DABDA', I think we've all done it, especially the why me part, it must be particularly difficult for you as you've been so heavily involved with others who have, sadly, not beaten their own cancer. But, this is your cancer, just as my cancer was mine, no two are exactly the same in that no two people are the same and therefore our treatments are ours and we all respond in our own way. Talk to your oncologist, ask for the pros and cons on all the available treatments, trials are very important but not always the best way forward, I took part in one and it was fine for me. Take a balanced view of what's on offer for you and do make an informed choice. It's good that your daughter is on board with you, family is so very important, as you know only too well.
Good luck with your decision, sending big hugs of encouragement ❤xx Jane
I am so sorry you are going through this. We are here for you all the way. You can share anything you like to and I guarantee one or many of us have already been there done that. You are not alone.
You may very well be able to beat this or put it in its place and fight it. It can very well be a chronic condition that you can live with. The good news is that it has not spread for you! optimal debuking is the best start there is. I am also stage 3b and have finished front line chemo treatment last October. If you decide to go this route the chemo is not so bad in retrospect. One day at a time. Please keep us posted on your decisions. It is important to get an ONC you can trust and talk to.
Thank you so much Carol makes me feel more positive to have replies from someone who has been there. I can do this. Have to stop obsessing over statistics. This is my cancer and I'm unique. Have great family support and this site is the "bees knees" haha prayers and thoughts for you.🙏🙏
Its best not to read the statistics especially on google. We all have to be realistic and optimistic, there is so much on the horizon as far as treatments and research. Its a good time to get your life in order and concentrate on getting our minds and bodies healthy. Enjoy each day! You will get through this, the worst is behind you. The chemo is not all that bad, especially the first half. Keep us posted! you can IM me if you like.
Have not had surgery yet. Should be 3/20. You sound like a strong person for all you have gone through. I have not had sideaffects from Chemo but hair loss but they make great wigs. Funny thing is, the grey hair seems to be the last to go. Hugs to you and keep up with thr positive.
You sound like a a strong person as well. Nice to know your side effects are not too bad. Thanks for the tip on wigs. I find it amazing that I'm so vain about losing my hair. Silly really but anything to make me feel good. Good luck with surgery remember it's painful when you first wake up but all the cancer is out of you. Prayers and thoughts. 😇😇
Congrats on having the surgery behind you. I am stage 3c and have taken care of several family members from start to being there when they crossed over as well, so I was well rehearsed on the rules of the game, but it is different when it becomes you in those shoes. Sounds like you have a full plate and it is natural to be scared. Heck there are days that the fear of the unknown can take over and when that happens I come check myself into this forum and it calms me right down...
One of my mentors years ago asked me.... when I said why me about a different health issue... she said" why not you" "what makes you any better than anyone else who gets a disease" we are all in this together she said. You know in a strange and wonderful way.. those words gave me so much comfort and kept me from being angry about the disease.
What I did and still get angry about is how many of us tell the doctors that something isn't right in our bodies and we are being dismissed for any number of reasons and then we are left to deal with the damage of this disease.
I did do the bargaining bit, when my daughter asked that I take care of my first grandson while she was having their second son... So every day since Dec 19, I consider a wonderful blessing and try to make each day count.
Honrath, well put. You've invested a great deal of time and emotional labor helping loved ones. You are clearly very knowledgeable on this subject.
There is no answer to "Why me". You will never find one. Even if you are positive for BRCA there is still no answer to your question. There is, however, the possibility of remission! You have already held off lupus and Hep C. You must have a very strong constitution. You can do this too. I am OVCA 3C hi grade serous epithelial and in my 6th month of remission. (read my profile for ALL the details.)
At first I googled my diagnosis. According to Dr. Google, I should have died months ago. Most studies are out of date. If you want the latest info try biomedcentral.com Please focus on the newest studies. Don't give up on yourself. You can become your best patient by mustering all the love you have for your daughter and people you care about. Do not give up!!!
Honrath--as others have said you have already been through a lot healthwise. No reason you can't beat this too. I am a four year survivor, 3C high grade serous. The chemo was rough but except for the first few days post chemo in each cycle (I had six cycles), I was fine. I went for acupuncture and massages before and after each cycle help with the symptoms. Also, there are excellent meds available to alleviate many of the symptoms. I had a good wig so I never had a bad hair day! And didn't need a hat all winter! I also walked 30--40 minutes a day, as recommended by my oncologist.
Thank you so much for your words of support and knowledge of my prognosis. I'm now hoping I can start chemo ASAP. It's people like you that give me hope. I trust you're still feeling better and stronger everyday 👌❤️
Mine is high grade ovarian cancer stage 3 c. They usually start you off with Carboplatin and Taxol. Women who can take the Carboplatin usually have a greater remission success rate. I was allergic to it. I'm still fighting my battle. Thankful to God I'm still here. Ice heard of people taking baking soda without phosphate and molasses cooked together for cancer cures. I researched lots of things, but decided to go with what my oncologist says. I do take Frankincense Boswelli for joint pain. It really helps and it's all natural. I figured if the wise men brought it to Jesus, it'd be good for me. Lol. Best wishes to you.
Hi, I had cysplatin, very strong, carboplatin and troxil better. Key for me was as soon as I awoke I took an anti nausea pill. And drank water, lots only got sick twice. I did stomach wash chemo. It's supposed to add 18 plus months onto your life. I had 18 rounds 8 of those were stomach wash. Not all Drs hospitals do stomach wash chemo. City of Hope does.. best wishes for a healthy and speedy recovery. I had a two lb tumor removed along with appendix and cancer was attached to my colon. Debulking, 5 Herneas repaired. 15 lymph nodes removed cancer in two. Any questions don't hesitate to contact me. Blessed wishes future survivor.
You have certainly come to the right place. I am new to the site as well and I have learned so much though just reading the posts.
I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and surgery. The best news is that you are recovering. I do know about the DABDA. One thing that I overlooked was the side effects of the anesthesia. I always go into a dark side after surgery. Like you, I am basically a happy person but after an anesthetic I get depressed. Not a good thing when one has to make very important decisions.
Before you jump into any treatment plan, talk this over with your oncologist. I usually wait a few days, that's just me, while I process all the information that is given to me. I buy some time to ask more questions if I have them.
We will love you, support you, and give you our best we have to give. In the meantime take care and keep us informed.
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