I have MBC but I don’t want to lose m... - SHARE Metastatic ...

SHARE Metastatic Breast Cancer

6,587 members8,127 posts

I have MBC but I don’t want to lose my job in the military

Casual profile image
19 Replies

I am fighting to stay in the military and retire naturally despite my diagnosis, and yes, I have thought about this long and hard. I could be stationed only stateside, and be put on certain restrictions if they let me stay in. Being put out would have negative mental and financial effects on me and my family.

I want to know if anyone has any articles with any positive outcomes in life expectancy, daily living, despite 5yrs/50%.

Currently in need any any supporting documentation. Thank you in advance!

Written by
Casual profile image
Casual
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
19 Replies
Red71 profile image
Red71

I don’t have supporting documentation one way or another, but I went back and read your other posts. You seem pretty determined and that will be helpful in the long run. New medications are being researched daily and our time here on this earth is much longer than it was 20 years ago. No one knows what 5 years could bring...maybe even a cure. I would fight for what you want. In 5 years you might be doing fine and where do you want to be? Fight for that! In 5 years you could be retired and doing nothing or enjoying the career you have. You can always change your mind later but with the military it would be very difficult to say that you want back in! If you are stationed here in the states you could probably continue school on a more limited basis until you know how things are going. Anyway, I guess my advice is keep your options open. Good luck, Elaine

Casual profile image
Casual in reply to Red71

Thank you Elaine ❤️

Mindysooty profile image
Mindysooty

hi there, I'm sorry I don't have any documentation either but when you say you're fighting to stay in, does that mean you're meeting with resistance? I'm in the UK so maybe slightly different legislation but I'm sure you will have similar rights. Your employers should make reasonable adjustments to help you stay in your role. Key word is reasonable - I've no experience with the military so don't know what it would entail but as you say, the financial implications could have a detrimental impact on you so I would imagine if, for example, there was something office bound you could be involved in, you'd be willing to do that? Like you say, whatever restrictions are necessary to enable you to stay put.

re the life expectancy documentation - you say you need it - I really hope you're not being pressured into proving how long you're expected to be here cos that would be just awful.

Maybe you just mean you need it for yourself in which case, I guess there is advisory stuff out there but in reality, no-one knows do they. It's all based on averages and there's so much to take into account - where the mets are/any co-morbid conditions/diet/drinking/smoking/family history - and loads more stuff - we're all so different so information you find could be totally wrong for you.

And Elaine's spot on - there's been so much progress made even in the last 10 or 20 years, we've got a much better chance of living for many years to come. I'm not settling for 5 years, I know that much. It can do one - I've too much left to fit in :).

Very best wishes to you. Josie x

Casual profile image
Casual in reply to Mindysooty

Thank you Josie. Yes, I’m meeting resistance bc despite me being at what I do, and great evaluations, the current ruling is deploy or get out the military. I can no longer reply, so they are taking me through the ringer and I am fighting to stay in.... as if I’m not already fighting for more important things. I don’t want Cancer to win in any aspect of my life.

Francesca10 profile image
Francesca10

I have no documentation on this- five years is an average number and not reality for many who have lived past that. I do know it is a disability and under that your job has to accommodate you. That’s the law. I really hope you are not being pressured to produce something that may not exist. If you think it’s worthwhile look into the disability act and employment.

It’s an angle that may be worth it.

I wish you the best. That has to be very stressful to deal with on top of mbc. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💕

Casual profile image
Casual in reply to Francesca10

Thank you Francesca. I definitely will look into that angle

Hi Casual - Responding to an old post, sorry I missed it, and I am not even sure that - having no experience with the military - I understand you original question, but wanted to mention that I admire your practical/analytic approach to this "problem" (i.e. mets/mortality!).

Financial and practical decisions have always been front and center for me...I have people (e.g. my children) who depend on me and for whom I would like to provide, even after I'm gone. Every month, in a spreadsheet, I'm sorting through the best decisions I can make. I incorporate probabilities of survival, e.g. how long will I live to receive disability payments from my former employer? This funds my children's college and other expenses. They're not fully out of the nest, so if I die, this source will dry up. Literally when I think about my fortunate longevity, I picture our ancestors wanting to provide for my children, and I'm just a conduit! :)

I like the way you think and I believe that a rational approach to all of this will benefit all involved...:)

Wishing you the best,

Lynn

Casual profile image
Casual in reply to

Thank you Lynn. Yes I have a 4 year old, 12 year old, and 19 year old.

in reply to Casual

Gosh, three great reasons to live for a long time! There are so many astonishing stories/cases of women thriving for years, even decades, post mets diagnosis. I have confidence that your intelligence and mindset will lead to the best possible outcome.

I just re-read your original post, asking for info re: people outliving the statistical averages. I'm very data and research-oriented, and I'll mention that diet and exercise seem to hold a lot of potential. I'll suggest that you look into a vegan or vegetarian diet and extreme (in my view) exercise, like you're training for a marathon. Oxygen to the nooks and crannies (aerobic exercise for 60+ minutes per day), heat (FIR heating pads), very "clean" diet, etc. That plus really forestalling any changes in treatment, unless the need to do so is screaming at you.

If your cancer is "hormone receptive" (feeds off hormones), there are 3 or 4 courses of treatment that are effective before you really get down to the nitty-gritty, a few months each, with poor quality of life. Actually, this statement assumes that your cancer is "recurrent", i.e. you were treated previously for BC that was diagnosed at an earlier stage. If you were diagnosed metastatic "de novo", i.e. no previous treatment, please know that this adds significantly to your life expectancy because you still have the big guns (hardcore chemo) in your arsenal (look at me, using military metaphors!!! :) ).

Anyway, I view the various treatments as step stones down the path...drag your feet. Question and re-question any decision to move on to the next step. I've proclaimed to my docs a high tolerance for risk of progression....let's wait, see what happens, I won't sue you if it progresses. After all, if the next treatment works, it will likely beat back any progress the disease made in the meantime..

My thoughts -- and hopes -- are with you. Please do keep us posted.

Be well, take care, Lynn

Have-faith profile image
Have-faith

If you want to work which it sounds like you do, go for it. Don't compare yourself to others and their choices. How do you feel in this moment? I had the opportunity to go for a promotion 9 months ago. I could have used the money but I was scared because of the unknown journey down the road. The person that was hired didn't work out. Long story short i took the promo. After a learning curve i couldnt be happier. At this moment despite MBC i am doing very well. I felt it was a sign that the opportunity came up again. Do what makes you happy. We can't predict the future. No one can with or without mbc. Live your life and best of luck making your decisions. Funny as I was typing live "love' came up. Yes. We should love what we can in our lives too. Do remember everyone is unique and you are you. Do what makes you happy. New treatments are coming down the road every day. Not fast enough, but they are coming! Look at people now living years, decades, with HIV. You sound determined and strong. I have a hunch you will make the right decision for you and be happy with it. Faith

Casual profile image
Casual in reply to Have-faith

❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much!!! Very well put.

mariootsi profile image
mariootsi

No statistics can determine how long we each have but if you want to stay in the military find an advocate to help you. Maybe your onc or call the Cancer Society to find help.

There is help available out there especially for workplace issues.

Casual profile image
Casual in reply to mariootsi

Thank you. I will definitely look into it!!!

Survivornow profile image
Survivornow

I was diagnosed last Fall with recurrence from my original breast cancer of 5 years ago. Surgeon told my husband I would not see another Christmas. My left ribs and chest were completely compromised, tumor in right lung. As of my last PET Scan, 90% of my disease is gone! I've been on very limited medication due to severe side effects, Verzinio at first (couldn't handle it) and now lowered dosage of Ibrance. My Oncologist feels I will have no evidence of disease at next PET Scan.

So hang in there! Do what you need to do! I expect a cure soon!

Casual profile image
Casual in reply to Survivornow

Thank you!! I pray your next scan shows just that. 😊

Have-faith profile image
Have-faith in reply to Survivornow

Love your reply! Wonderful news and uplifting. I always say that doctors dont know everything and this is clearly an example. How horrible to have said the bit about no Christmas. Ba humbug! So glad you proved them wrong. Keep up whatever you are doing. Faith

Rhwright12 profile image
Rhwright12

Hi Casual! To my knowledge there aren’t any real up to date stats. At the beginning of this year they updated from 24 to 36 months as median survival but that’s from stats from 2008 - 2014...the stats are 5 years behind...so those mostly don’t even take into consideration new meds like Ibrance or my Perjeta...🤦‍♀️...

It also doesn’t take into consideration that u can randomly go into NED status after a few years in. I did after 3 years not right away as some do.

Lastly I sent out a resume this week for a new job directing an inner city ministry...good luck to u! 😀 And thanks for serving!

Casual profile image
Casual

Thank you so much!!! Best of luck to you on your new job.

Hi!

I noticed this is an old post of yours, but wanted to chime in if I may. Perhaps by now you have resolved the issue so what I have to say may have no bearing on your current situation. My husband is retired from the USAF. Have you spoken to someone at your legal office on base to see where you stand legally? If you are medically discharged I imagine you will not receive a pension, but that might be something to look into if you are interested in a medical discharge. Or how about contacting the VA for some advice? In terms of survival statistics, I can't comment on that. I just know that we are all different, and our outcome varies so much. But I do believe we have come a long way and life expectancy has improved.

I wish you all the best.

Sophie

You may also like...

Progression of my MBC

rash and hyperglycemia and other side effects Does any of you are taking this medication Thanks...

Cruising with MBC and having Xeloda.

Support by drug? I want to stay here, I don’t feel so afraid with this group.

aren’t any support groups as good as this one. Is anyone else on verzenio but wants to stay here?

MBC Lesions in my spine

Nothing working on My Daughters MBC

week ago.. She is ER+ HER2 negative Pr negative I would be very grateful for any information anyone...