Confused about how I am feeling

[Katherinelopez]

I don't know if the feelings that I am having are normal. I've only been in treatment for two months ( im on my second off week of imbrance right now ) but I don't think a lot about my MBC . I don't know if IM just handling it ok or if I am not worrying too much . I take my medicide everyday . I am eating better I don't know what else to do or if I should keep going on normal with my life. I have a full time job and I am also a part time real estate agent . should I slow down? I don't think I am on denial because I know what I have...

[Hidden]

Hi Katherine! I was on a rollercoaster of emotions my first few cycles on Ibrance! Now I live happily in total denial of my mbc most of the time😃

I feel very good on a healthy diet and I socialize when I feel good and if I don't feel great I am very good at keeping myself busy. Of course there are moments when I think about my mbc, but they pass!

If you like what you're doing work wise, by all means, continue if it makes you feel good. I wish you all the best!

[Francesca10]

Hi Katherine

I was a disaster for the first year. Almost three years and sometimes mbc is on my mind, sometimes not. There is no normal for us. Many of us transitioned to “new Normal” finding much of the selves we knew gone. I am still working full time on faslodex, ibrance and xygeva. I am 65 and getting tired more n thinking about part time on retirement. Whatever you are good with keep going💕

Frances

[1998withStage4]

I worked full time the first 10 years after being diagnosed with MBC. Some days, MBC was on the top of my mind, other days I just put it behind me. You need to do what feels right for you. Depending on the treatment you're on, you may be able to live a normal-ish life. It still won't revert back to what it was, but it can be tolerable. BTW - If you were in denial, you wouldn't be in this group and would not have posted your message.

[Mindysooty in reply to 1998withStage4]

'The first 10 years after being diagnosed with MBC.....' YAASSS thats it, right there. This is what I LOVE to hear. Im so pleased for you and just sharing that one sentence gives us newbies so much hope. Thankyou and long may it continue for you. X

[nstonerocks]

I agree with everything that has been said above. People react differently and situations change. Take it day by day. If you become stuck in anxiety or depression, get help. As long as you feel well, keep doing what you’re doing and enjoy your life.

[Hidden]

If you feel healthy than keep working as it will keep you busy and of course the money is also nice 😉. If you aren’t feeling well then it is ok to slow down a bit. Let your body guide you.

[Mindysooty]

Hi

Everyones different. I totally intend to keep working with a few adjustments when my immune systems down a bit - I'll be able to do flexible working from home. First few weeks I couldnt stop crying and everything I did was tinged with sadness but Im over that now. Ive just finished my first cycle of Ibrance with a few side effects but nothing too bad; Im just carrying on with stuff as normal but at a slower pace and being sensible eg I should have been on a team volunteering day yesterday at an animal sanctuary which Id have absolutely loved but it was hammering down with rain so I didnt go because I didnt want to catch a chill or anything. I think ine of the hardest things for me is learning to look after myself like that because before MBC I wouldnt have given it a second thought. Xx

[Mindysooty in reply to Mindysooty]

What Im trying to say is whatever you feel is ok. There's no right or wrong way to feel. Just make the most of not feeling down and working might help with that as long as you look after yourself etc. Take care and good luck with everything x

[NPmary]

It sounds like you are a younger person, dealing with treatment very well, able to work 'healthy except for being in this club. So if l described you correctly - that's great: sell those houses, go to appointments, when you have scans it might be scary but remember if the scans show something new - you, my dear have already been living with whatever it is. At some point this disease may ask you to re-prioritize what's most important to you, might ask you to appreciate the bird on the wire or the weed in your yard. One day it might teach you something you knew all along in a brand new way.

NO WORRIES about you being 'normal' (an over-rated value).

Hope l was appropriately light-hearted and not too preachy.

Take care, Mary (a probably older MBC sister).

[Gram10]

Katherine,

It has been close to a year since I was diagnosed . It has been rough because the Ibrance and Letrizole left me terribly weak and tired. Being an active person, I couldn't handle not being able to do the simplest chores like making the bed, cooking and carrying the laundry basket downstairs. My beautiful German Shepherd is also missing his daily walks.

I have learned, reluctingly,to let go and let my husband take over.

It wasn't the idea of having MBC that got me so depressed. It was because I could no longer do all the things I used to do.

The very best to you.

Patricia

[mariootsi]

It is a traumatic dx. We all experienced shock and fog with all the tests and drs after dx.

But, if you are happy and able to do it keep doing what you are doing. Believe me it's better than having nothing to do all day!

The best to you.

[Red71]

Congratulations to your doctors for diagnosing you before you had physical changes that demanded a new normal! If you are tolerating the medicine and able to do what you did before that’s what you should do. Do not let anyone tell you how you should feel or how you should react. You get to do you, and I for one am envious. My MBC was caught late, after bone lesions did a number on my back. I have no choice but to find a new normal so my choice is to deal with it with as much grace as possible and not to dwell on it in my mind. I would gladly continue my life as it was, follow my doctors orders, and not think much about it. I envy you but I also rejoice that you get this chance. The only thing I would do in your shoes is evaluate if all the things you do bring you joy or if there are other things that you would think back and wish you had done. Good luck with this journey. I wish and hope you have a long time feeling this way. Elaine

[Nmartinez15]

Good for you! I dont know what stage you are now, but when I was diagnosed the first time in 2017 I was feeling good. I did feel tired sometimes but that's it. I didnt have any symptoms beside feel tired but I was working full time job. So i blame my job.... after I have double mastectomy things change for me.... I returned to work 6 weeks later and I was only stage 2. I didnt have chemo or radiation bc I was low risk and the Gene's test came back negative. I was prescribed Tamoxifen which make me feel horrible and I stop taking them. I was on pain most of the time for the surgery and not feeling normal but I move on with my life and try to do everything I did before. However, when i got diagnosed with cancer again this year I told myself screw my job!!! I am not working anymore bc I need to live to take care my daughter of 4 years old! So, I was able to get disability insurance and not deal with my stressful job and my boss!!! I am admire whoever can work with stage 4 because I always tired or when I do too much I get pain every where! I had good paid job but my daughter and my health its first! And I want to enjoy life with my daughter and not regret that I didnt dedicate time to her bc I was working. This is my personal decision and I am not try to criticize anybody. I just work too much in my life and deal with a lot stress, so now I just want to enjoy just in case!

[Katherinelopez in reply to Nmartinez15]

I’m in stage 4 and my doctor said surgery was not an option . I’m just hoping this treatment lasts for a long time , I have three kids one is 13 , 8 and 5 .

[Nmartinez15 in reply to Katherinelopez]

Why surgery was not an option? Just curious.... Are you getting radiation or chemo beside meds? Stress is horrible for cancer, so you need to void it the best you can. If you job doesn't cause you stress like mine it's fine to work. However, enjoy your kids and spent time with them. We only have one life that God give us in this world!

My suggestion is continue doing what you like but dont burn yourself working. Take time to enjoy your kids and husband. Enjoy life with the ppl that loves you.

If your job interfere with your health then you need to take action. That's what I did and I dont regret!

[Katherinelopez in reply to Nmartinez15]

He said that if I had surgery it would be worse because it had already spread to my lymph and my pelvic bone , I’m on imbrance letrozone , something monthly like and IV and a shoot every three months for my bones . Honestly I don’t remember everything that he said that day , it was too much for me . I was sitting down waiting for my first chemo when I saw him and said we had to change treatment. We didn’t have all the results but since I didn’t want to waste time he scheduled everything like if it had not spread and on that visit we would change anything if we had to. And that’s exactly what happened. Now that my mind is more clear I’m going to ask him again. Last month when I saw him I told him I was feeling better so he said that was a good sign and even though I wasn’t supposed to see any changes until the third month he went ahead and order some test to get counts of something ( can’t remember ) I see him this Thursday and Im going to ask again about surgery

[Nmartinez15 in reply to Katherinelopez]

He probably need to check you white cell counts. Ibrance can put your white cell count down drastically, when that happened you can get infections easily. That's happened to me last month. I have to stop for a month thr Ibrance until my count go up again. Try to drink water with baking soda organic every day. You can put lemon too. Cancer doesn't survive in alkaline system.

[Katherinelopez in reply to Nmartinez15]

Have you tried anything else natural ?

[Nmartinez15 in reply to Katherinelopez]

Yes, I take a few natural stuffs. I have 3 surgeries in less than 3 months. I believe natural stuffs help me to deal with all this.... I finally start feeling better but the onc is going to prescribed me ibrance again in July. Lower dose...... I am not sure how I will feel with lower dose. I hope for the best. I got my bone scan and ct scan after radiation and my natural supplements and they came back with no progression. So I am happy with that!

[SusieIM]

My opinion is, you are doing well. I also work but not as much as before. This October it will be two years since being told I have mbc. The first six months I did not really believe it but I finally stepped out of the denial zone. I really think it is important to continue doing what you want to do, maintain our connections, stay informed but try not to dwell on our condition, take care of ourselves as we hopefully would anyway. Staying connected here is helpful, I know it is helping me.

[BuoyantCat]

Sometimes I don’t know how anyone can make decisions without God. If you are Christian and even if you are not you probably know about the place in the bible where it talks about leaving ( letting go of you mother and father )and becoming one with your husband. You post sound fraught with worry and fear. What is strange to me is I just finished memorizing a scripture because I am so worried about a test I need to take. I thought the scripture was for me. Then I saw your post and realized it was for you:

Do not be anxious in nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving make your requests be known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind through Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

I hope this helps you in some way. To my mind your last sentence was the most telling. You said you hated long hauls. Start with examining that and you may see what fear that is causing you distress. Even though I am tempted to tell you what I would do. You are the one who has to make the decision. I know only one thing once you have made the decision and are committed to it the fear and distress will drop off your shoulders. The other scripture I like is “Casting all your care upon him because he cares for you 1 Peter 5: 7