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Modesty

Lumpy1968 profile image
37 Replies

Why do female nurses perform intimate procedures on male patients

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Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968
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37 Replies
Luke1973 profile image
Luke1973

Because they are extensively medically trained to do so.

If my penis is about to fall off for some unknown medical reason, I don’t care what gender tries to help, as long as they know what they’re doing.

Are you fearful of a female nurse carrying out an intimate medical procedure?

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Luke1973

if you don't care thats fine for you but what about people that do care because of moral issues?womem are aforded a hole lot more modestywhile men are given no choice

Luke1973 profile image
Luke1973 in reply to Lumpy1968

What moral issues? She’s a medical professional, not some woman trying to grope you in a nightclub. It sounds like you’d benefit from some counselling to try and get you over your fear. You shouldn’t be blaming the nurses. Are you afraid of becoming aroused?

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Luke1973

You have a world view which is completely opposed to a biblical view. just like many social issues are excepted in today’s society but are directly opposed to biblical teachings

Luke1973 profile image
Luke1973 in reply to Lumpy1968

I find that religion and medicine often conflict, although I’m not sure where in the bible it says that a female nurse cannot see or touch your penis. It’s not that specific in my experience. If you’re choosing to interpret a religious document in such a way as to jeopardise your access to healthcare then that is obviously your choice, but it makes your original question a bit pointless as you are the cause of your own difficulty.

As to why female nurses perform intimate procedures on male patients? Because it’s the right thing to do based on science.

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Luke1973

Your saying that it is preferable for a woman to touch your penis over a male? If you go to the gym why do they have separate locker rooms for men and women. And just because the Bible doesn’t speak of urinary catheters doesn’t mean that intimate touching outside of marriage isn’t spoken of throughout the Bible. So when mankind invents new procedures in modern medicine we should still follow what people feel the most comfortable with and not cause a person to be embarrassed and humiliated

Luke1973 profile image
Luke1973 in reply to Lumpy1968

Personally I don’t care who handles my penis - men or women. It’s just a penis. I’m not saying you can’t have modesty, I’m just saying that medicine isn’t really the place for it. But if you feel uncomfortable with women seeing or touching your penis in a medical environment then just ask to be otherwise accommodated. There’s no need to make out that it’s a shocking practice, because for the vast majority it isn’t. But you also have to accept that if you demand a male nurse for example, there may not be one available. If that means that you refuse treatment then that is your choice and not the medical profession’s fault.

modestguy profile image
modestguy in reply to Luke1973

Luke1973 doesn't care about the sex of the provider for intimate care. Lumpy1968 does. We're all different, and we're all entitled to - at the very least - express our preferences, and be given an opportunity to consent or decline a specific provider, "chaperone" (aka legal witness), or treatment.

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Luke1973

Your comment that it’s just a penis is interesting. So when you get arrested for urinating in public and charged with indecent exposure your defense can be to the judge it is just a penis and I was merely relieving myself of a biological necessity with no sexual intent. What’s the problem I don’t care if someone see’s my penis. And if you think that a nurse who has never catheterized a male patient and is doing it for the 1st time doesn’t have an uneasy feeling about exposing and touching a man’s penis and has feelings of guilt and embarrassment believe me they all have to go through that experience and it’s not easy. Eventually they sear their conscience and become desensitized to what they do. I think that is sad because they are stealing something from a women that she should only experienced with her husband. And given the choice I’m sure that many of these women would rather skip the intimate part if they had a choice but the institutions force this on them.

Luke1973 profile image
Luke1973 in reply to Lumpy1968

I’m not in the habit of breaking the law and I don’t see the relevance of your comparison.

As for the rest, I personally think that you have a very warped view of the world, clouded by a reliance on a misinterpretation of a religious text. But that is your choice. I just think it’s very sad.

I hope your choices don’t jeopardise your health. Please don’t attempt to use your beliefs to belittle the work or ethics of medical professionals.

toofreakedout profile image
toofreakedout in reply to Luke1973

I am completely with you lumpy I had some cardiac testing just recently. first think the young woman said was take off your pants and handed me a paper sheet. I had the forethought to wear a pair of short pants under my jeans. otherwise I would have had to leave and perhaps reschedule. it has nothing to do with how they are trained blah blah blah. it is about my and I am not comfortable with these things . I have that right still ... I think?

and as to the other comment about the penis falling off? i have an issue there that I TOTALLY need to have checked. I still have not quite decided the way forward there. I am not crazy about my male physician dealing with the issue. but the others tend to be all female and I really don't know how to make it happen.

please do not feel all alone

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to toofreakedout

One thing that most people aren’t aware of is until the 1970’s intimate care for men was taken care of by male doctors or male orderlies. But with the advent of managed care doctors couldn’t afford to spend that much time with a patient and for cost cutting reasons orderlies we’re phased out which left men to be viewed and touched intimately by women. They know that this is a problem for a lot of men but they also know that most men won’t speak up for fear of being preceived as weak. Most men have no problem getting naked with a women in an intimate relationship but in that situation I find it to be degrading. Most nurses know that they are embarrassing you and for some they actually enjoy the power trip while you lay there completely vulnerable. It tends to diminish your manhood

jctaylor profile image
jctaylor

The overwhelming majority of nurses are female. How many medical practices have you seen with male nurses?

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to jctaylor

That is true and it is a shame

modestguy profile image
modestguy in reply to Lumpy1968

Agreed. And male nurses are frequently stigmatized within their own profession, from what I've read.

Itzallgood1 profile image
Itzallgood1 in reply to jctaylor

I believe the World Wars had female nurses? They served on battlefields too.

Also how do you know the nurses are thinking they're embarrassing you and enjoy being on a power trip? I've seen nurses that really didn't want to be in the room but their job states otherwise.

MichaelC profile image
MichaelC

I agree with the original poster, although for different reasons. I feel more comfortable having a male doctor/nurse/therapist with these issues. Would you criticize a woman for wanting a female gynecologist? And by the way, the patient is the consumer here and it's our choice. Why would you berate the OP for expressing his preference on this. It's none of your business, but it's very much his business.

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to MichaelC

Thank you for that!

Luke1973 profile image
Luke1973

The OP asked the question; ‘why?’

The answer is because it’s fine for almost everyone. If an individual has an alternative preference for whatever reason then he/she needs to express that preference to their medical provider and it may or may not be accommodated. There’s no need to imply that it’s wrongheaded (as the OP’s question does) when it’s not. Religion is a choice, medicine is a science.

Most people throughout the course of their lives will experience the need for medical examination or intervention in intimate areas. The vast majority will encounter male and female medical staff in those situations and aren’t bothered, because they’re professionals, not voyeurs or perverts.

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Luke1973

The reality is there are voyeurs and perverts in the system and with a little digging documentation is out there not to mention the things that go unreported

toofreakedout profile image
toofreakedout in reply to Lumpy1968

Molestation and even rape has happened in the medical setting . It was much more prevalent years past it still can happen. And if it happens to you then forgetting is not an option. The only real option is to find a way to muscle through it. Little doubt it will cost the survivors and the modest ones dearly if they can't

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to toofreakedout

The experiences that I had with open heart surgery caused me great psychological harm. I am now seeing a psychologist to resolve PTSD so for those that think their penis is fair game for all takers that’s fine for them. But for people that suffered sexual abuse as a child those kind of situations can cause great harm. And when a hospital withholds information on purpose that can cause great psychological harm that is cruel and reprehensible

modestguy profile image
modestguy in reply to Luke1973

Doesn't matter what "the majority" thinks. Medical care is personal, and personal preferences should be acknowledged to the extent that it's practical.

Luke1973 profile image
Luke1973 in reply to modestguy

Of course. I don’t disagree. But the OP asked simply ‘why’ females interacted with males in this regard. The answer is because for the most part there is no problem with that. If the OP had asked; ‘can I request that a male medical practitioner examines me?, then the answer would have been yes.

Religion is a choice, as are many parts of our lives. If for some reason my own belief system dictated that I didn’t allow men to touch my ears, then I would ask for a female to do it. I wouldn’t question why males were allowed to do it.

jaglad profile image
jaglad

I am in the UK and have always been asked if it is Ok that a female Doctor or Nurse carries out the procedure. I have no preference, I assume they have the correct qualifications. Beside, you may have to wait longer for a professional of your gender choice ?

P51mustang profile image
P51mustang

If you have a male doctor, and he brings in a female scribe or chaperone, you simply ask the scribe “would you mind turning your back for a minute”. That has worked for me in the past. I don’t need a second set of eyes viewing my genitals while my dermatologist does the examination!!

toofreakedout profile image
toofreakedout in reply to P51mustang

That makes sense but it begs the question then. If the aren't looking why are they there?

P51mustang profile image
P51mustang in reply to toofreakedout

If it is a scribe, she can write down her notes as dictated from the doctor, while she sits at the table with her back turned.If it is a chaperone, I have not given consent for this extra set of eyes to view my genitals.

She can also turn her back during the genital exam. She is still only 3 feet away, nothing could possibly happen inappropriately. Can you imagine if a gynecologist brought in a male for a woman's exam?!!

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to P51mustang

My wife worked obgyn for 30 years and she never heard of a practice that had any male’s employed in any capacity. I have been to 3 different urologist over the years and except for the doctor being male (my choice) every other person in those practices was female. If that’s not a double standard I don’t know what is!

toofreakedout profile image
toofreakedout in reply to Lumpy1968

yes and when they have you doing those "tests" several different times and kinds they want you to not push and not do whatever but then want to knock on the door apparently to see if you are reading a book or something. I always figured the testing was probably not terrible accurate.

toofreakedout profile image
toofreakedout in reply to Lumpy1968

yes the standard is double. I understand that there are more female nurses out there but I cant stand it either. I just cancelled the last appointment and quit going there. the doc was not good either. I hope that there are never anymore issues cause monitoring is just not going to happen

toofreakedout profile image
toofreakedout in reply to P51mustang

I checked into several dermatologists too. they seem to all require the chaperone and so I put that on a shelf. I'm just not going to to do that I am confident that I just couldn't anyway. so If I got there and find out for sure I can't do it I would have to leave and end up on the hook for a missed appointment.

P51mustang profile image
P51mustang in reply to toofreakedout

I think most dermatologists have a scribe in the room to take the dermatologist notes that are dictated. I have found that the best way to do it is to not ask in advance… Giving them a chance to say "we can't accommodate that". You go to the appointment and directly ask the scribe/chaperone "would you mind turning your back for a minute". The doctor has limited time and does not want to get into a argument that consumes precious time. He or she will most likely take the easy route and accommodate the request without even saying anything.This worked for me for my last appointment and she did turn around. I have sent a letter to the dermatologist (signed, current male patient) letting her know that a majority of her male patients would like to have their privacy and dignity respected.

I suggested to her that she have her scribe sit at the table taking her notes with her back turned because most men do not want an extra set of eyes staring at their genitals!!! It makes for a very creepy situation! And I think the scribe would appreciate not being put in the voyeur category!

The doctor is obligated to ask your informed consent before he/she brings someone else into this appointment where you will be exposing your genitals. Patients have a legal right to privacy!!

If a male were present during a females exam, there would probably be disciplinary action or a lawsuit!

Men have got to speak up when there is a situation like this or at least write a letter to the doctor requesting to have their privacy and dignity respected!!

toofreakedout profile image
toofreakedout in reply to P51mustang

Thank you for that I do appreciate that help I have something that i really need to address. I'm am not sure who I should see it is a skin issue , but it is on the penis. I have zero desire to go from place to place flashing whoever so we can discuss this matter in my underwear. and as far as someone else being present ...total non starter.

Itzallgood1 profile image
Itzallgood1

I use to have male doctors too. Some good some horrible. I "fired" the horrible ones. I now have a female physician, urologist and dermatologist. They have been very professional with me. There's no drooling or them going gaga over my body. Yes I have had bad female doctors and they no longer my providers. In fact when I was looking for a new provider several years ago I ask a friend of mine if I could see her in the meantime. I had her for about 8 years before she moved on. Yes she seen my privates and there wasn't a hint of any wrong doings. Very professional.They are so many women going in the medical field now and that's why we see more of them. I've had female friends recommend me to their female doctors and that one is the urologist. Wasn't for her my issues with my prostate wouldn't been found. I was with two male urologists before that and they did not find anything wrong with me. Five years now after it has been found, I see male MD's fir surgical procedures but see the female yearly. I'm happy with who I've found dealing with my health. Maybe embarrassing but happy.

Lumpy1968 profile image
Lumpy1968 in reply to Itzallgood1

For me it’s not about capability it’s a personal and moral issue for me. I don’t expose myself to the opposite sex unless I am in a committed relationship and that is only supposed to happen in marriage

Itzallgood1 profile image
Itzallgood1 in reply to Lumpy1968

So in a life and death situation you would rather die than have a professional help you.It's your choice to tell them beforehand no chaperones or scribes in the office.

I've had one nurse say sometimes the provider can be scared to be in room with a male patient thus they bring in a chaperone.

Today my provider did not use a chaperone. There's a trust between us. If she did bring someone in it would because it is hospital policy that a chaperone being in room. My last visit her was a year ago and she brought in a chaperone because it was her first time having me undressed. Today no, I guess she trusted me.

So please ask for a male doctor because for an intimate check they don't use chaperones unless it was a dermotologist and they use scribes.