Supporting a loved ine

[VickiMB]

I can’t believe I’m writing this but my husband age 50 had a heart attack on Wednesday. He was rushed in via 999 and had a stent fitted. The Dr has said there is another blockage and they will decide next week whether to treat with meds or fit another stent in a month or two. He hasn’t had the echo yet as they are very busy....hoping he can come home tomorrow and then poss go back on Monday for the echo. He has coped with this all so well and says he feels better than he has in months. Of course he has started on a whole heap of meds, and will definitely be doing the cardio rehab. Me on the other hand, I am finding it really tough and cant stop crying, or worrying and I’m just thinking the worst all the time and even flinching when he moves. Any advice you can give would be greatly appreciated tia

[kazy09]

Hello vicki

I’m sorry for the the pain your feeling, my partner had a cardiac arrest nearly 3 years s ago, and I no the way you are feeling. I’m not going to say it gets easier because still today I worry. I will say though try and look after yourself as that is important. This group helped me so much through my very dark times. I’m here for you if you want to chat love. I hope your husband is ok lots of love Karon x

[VickiMB in reply to kazy09]

Thank you so much, wow a cardiac arrest sounds scary do you mind me asking how old he was? I can’t believe the list of medications he is now on, and I hope in time they can either be reduced or stopped altogether. I went to a BHF support group session today about the heart and it has left me feeling a little more positive. I’m hoping he can come out of hospital today, he has the echo booked for Monday and I think I’ll feel better once we know the outcome of that. Has your husbands life gone back to normal or are there things he can no longer do? x

[kazy09 in reply to VickiMB]

My terry will never be the the man that went to bed the night before he fell ill. But we have learned to live with it. He was a bricklayer and very hard working. I was a office manager and we had a comfortable life. He hasn’t worked since but he did go through a lot he was in a coma for 3 weeks and he had another cardiac in hospital, they gave him 3 days to live. But he pulled through somehow. He’s still on a huge amount of tablets. I’m just thankful he is here. As I said I’m here if you need a chat take care of you and yr man x

[Lezzers]

Hi VickiMB, my husband had a massive heart attack & cardiac arrest at the age of 42, he's been treated with meds since then as the blockage was inoperable. He's never had another HA & he's now 64. I attended a number of the cardiac re-hab sessions with him and that really helped me.

I totally get the flinching, listening to him breathing, walking round on eggshells etc. The worry never really goes away but you definitely will relax more as time goes on. Can you ask your GP for counselling?

[VickiMB in reply to Lezzers]

Gosh, that’s far too young. I guess it’s early days for us, he is definitely going to do the cardio rehab, what a fantastic service the BHF offer. I’m hoping my Dr will be sympathetic and give me some time off work so I can be on hand and go to at least some of the sessions. Has your husband had to stay on meds for life - the beta blockers, blood thinners etc?

[Lezzers in reply to VickiMB]

Yeah he's been on meds since then. When he first was poorly he couldnt tolerate beta blockers so he was taken off them. Then 21 years later they tried again as he'd been having vt's but he's been fine on them this time. He was originally taking 150mg aspirin, 90mg isosorbide monitrate, lisinopril & atorvastatin but they've been tweeking his meds this year & he's now on candesartan, bisoprolol, 75mg aspirin & atorvastatin.

[sca2013]

Speaking as someone who survived cardiac arrest @ 62, now 68. I know my wife had her own struggles dealing with the same things you're describing. What I'm about to say may seem counter intuitive, yet it definitely can be very liberating related to not knowing what or when something else might happen. Here it is - Ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen? Then, make it ok in your mind if it did. I'm not saying you want it to happen, yet identifying it and making it ok somehow takes the pressure of it all off of you and allows you to make better decisions, reduces your stress and actually helps you to feel more in control of your life about all of this. I'm very sorry you're both going through this experience. As time goes on you find new ways to deal with it and life goes better.

[VickiMB in reply to sca2013]

Thank you for those words, and good to see another positive story. we have the echo tomorrow I think I’ll feel better once I know the results of that, and once we get our head around all the meds, it’s scary. Take care

[sca2013]

Yes, definitely getting more information about what's going on is helpful for sure. Also we have found taking things one day and sometimes one hour at a time has been helpful for us.