Smoking

[kazy09]

After all we have been through this last year, I can’t believe my partner has started smoking again. He had a cigarette in Dec because he sadly lost his mum. But he hasn’t stopped since that day. I’m so mad at him, my daughter found out cos she said my coat smelt of fags. She was a rock to me when he was in a coma for 2 weeks. Is it wrong for me to sometimes think oh to hell with it if you want to smoke then suffer the consequences. Has anyone else smoked since nearly losing there life

[pinnelli]

I’ve never smoked but I’m surprised your partner still does. I too nearly died & it had an incredible effect on me. I used to be addicted to fitness, & would squeeze in at all costs even if work or family life squeezing my time.

In the end I had OHCA actually out cycling. My wife thought I’d be impossible without my ‘fix’ but something just changed in my head. Whilst excercise still important & I have returned to cycling again I’ve spontaneously given up the high end stuff & not fussed if I can’t get out. I.e the HA wiped out the addiction.

I see it as a natural survival instinct.

[kazy09 in reply to pinnelli]

Thank you for replying to me. Iv tried an tried to stop him. But he gets stressed an reaches for one, I know if this terrible thing ever happed to me I would be so greatful for life as I am now. I counted yesterday an he had 20 it’s going up an up. He had a total detox while in a coma they cleared buckets of tar from his lungs. He will never have that chance again as patches will never work now. His mum died of copd an that was awe full an he will go the same way that’s if he doesn’t have another cardiac. I gave him cpr at 2 on that morning it was so frightening. Well done to you take care

[Jamesgui2]

Hi, quitting smoking isn't easy at the best of times. I'm not a smoker but to lose a loved one especially the one who brought you into this world is devastating. Some smokers continue to smoke regardless of the consequences. Nobody wants to die and leave the party, proving how powerful the addiction can be in certain individuals. Also to be fair I can understand exactly how angry you must be. Need to sit done and discuss the best way to see how you can work together to create the conditions that will help stop again. It isn't easy, and sadly if he really wants to smoke, and it is selfish after all your family has gone through, again sadly he will continue and as we all know exacerbate his health issues. Good luck

[kazy09]

Thank you for replying. I have tried so much to get him to stop and now I just give up. His grown up children don’t know as he won’t tell them. He knows they won’t be happy. But it’s isolated him from my daughter who was there every minute for me last year. I would not have got through it without her. She is so upset as she doesn’t want me to suffer him having another one, which I know he will if he carry’s on. But as you say it’s his life his family an grandkids he will miss out on. I love all my family.

[Jamesgui2]

We all only get a life once , and probably lucky to be born at all. So you must think also of yourself. If your partner really wants to continue to smoke, you may have to accept this and make the best of your life.We all have important choices in life. Some make good choices and others not so good. You sound very sensible and empathetic. Therefore, make the best of what you have. All the beas in the future.

[kazy09 in reply to Jamesgui2]

Thank you. I definitely enjoy life I love my children an grandchildren they are my world. I’m not going to try an stop him any more as you say it’s his life

[Jamesgui2 in reply to kazy09]

Very sensible and good luck to both of you

[Mariann]

my Cardiologist tells me that 85% start back smoking after a heart attack. I have not, and it is 9 yrs. but, I know quite a few who have. was on a CCU (cardiac care unit) for 10 days a few yrs. ago, most of the patients were sneaking smokes in the bathrooms, and stairwells. Dumb....maybe....reality though. It is a powerful addiction!

[Steph746 in reply to Mariann]

My cardiologist said roughly the same. A large proportion of his patients didn't change. Forgot to say was 20 a day, H/A scared the crap out of me. Had my last fag sitting waiting on the ambulance. That was a year ago, smell of smoke now makes me boak.

[kazy09 in reply to Mariann]

Thank you for replying. He is silly to start again an has lost family over it. But as people say it an addiction. I just wish he valued life as much

[Mariann]

I honestly don't think it is about him and the value he puts on life. They say smoking is a harder addiction to kick than heroin. Just ask him, for you, to go back to step one and do a mulligan. The worst thing you can do is get his back up. Honestly, I know people who, I swear, are on their 5th-10th attempt at quitting. Keep trying. What works for one doesn't for someone else. Just know that it isn't you, and he is carrying a heavy demon. Just be with him, and not at him. I promise he will react better to you. Good Luck to you both. Hang in there. No judgement from here. Take Care of each other.

[kazy09 in reply to Mariann]

Thank you. I am going to try my hardest as I don’t want to lose him again. It is the scariest thing I have ever been through. Take care an well done to you

[markc100]

Hi kazy09 since I had my heart transplant about 2 years ago I have thought of smoking I think it's the smell that leads you but I haven't gone back to the habbit tell your partner it's not worth smoking life is to short and is for living

[kazy09 in reply to markc100]

Hello markc100 I agree totally if Terrys sca taught me one thing it is as you say life is too short. I’ve begged him to stop an he just says il do it the end of the month every month. Do here I am waiting for the end of August.

Take care

[markc100]

Your partner needs to stop kidding himself that he will stop smoking at the end of every month . He is letting himself down but the problem is it's a knock on affect

[What10]

Cigarettes are worse than heroine so dam addictive don't start

[kazy09 in reply to What10]

I know I’ve tried an tried. We moved to a new house an I won’t let him smoke in it. He is so moody all the time an hardly speaks, he’s up every morning at 5ish an I get up cos of all the noise. Then at 8 he goes back to bed till god knows what time an I have to sit in silence as I can’t do anything. This happens more at weekends cos in the week he goes to work. I’m really lost what to do.?