"High-functioning depression and RLS" - Restless Legs Syn...

Restless Legs Syndrome

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"High-functioning depression and RLS"

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Hi all. Well, it's 3:30 AM- have been up since 1 AM and I'm tired but won't be able to comfortably go back to bed till around 5. I am excited because I now have an appt set up in April with a neurologist at Emory University that specializes in rls. Another poster on this forum who also lives in the Atlanta area has already had his first visit and from what he told me I feel very hopeful about this. I began making notes about everything I want to cover and realized I am really depressed over a number of things. I first thought it was from sleep deprivation but realize it goes deeper than that. One of my main stressors is I live in a beautiful senior living environment and it's really getting on my nerves! Been here a year-trying to give it a chance but it's not getting any better. There are 200+ residents-mostly women and when I leave my apt I feel stressed just running into so many people daily. Even saying good morning to 50 people before getting out of the bldg is making me hate it here. I don't mean to knock my own sex but living in close proximity to so many other 'old women' is adding to other stressors. Lots of gossiping, nosiness, etc and conversation about personal details-who comes to visit, who's "gentlemen friends" stay over night-you get the drift. I find myself more angry, easily irritated and depressed. I plan to talk to the new neurologist about this .It wasn't my idea to move into senior living but my friend Jacob thought it would be a good thing so I got on the waiting list. Anyway, my question is this. I know that often people who are depressed don't want to do much, maybe become couch potatos etc. I saw an artlcle on this forum-I think about high-functioning depression. Where people carry on and hide their depression really well. This is what I've been doing-probably for years. But it's not working. I don't know what I'm asking- maybe is anyone else feeling this way. My apt is beautiful and yesterday we had a lady come and measure for changing the drapes. In the middle I thought 'I don't care about new drapes. I hate living here. I'd rather be back on my own." It will take some time to save and move. Right now I'm tired of Atlanta (big city). I just saw a quote by Christopher Morley. He said." There is only one success-to be able to spend your life in your own way." I'm certainly not doing that. I'll be 74 in March. I hate that I'm wasting this time living where I don't like, with people that I don't have much in common with, in a city that's too big, too crime-ridden. Part of me feels I am lucky re my lifestyle and should be happy and grateful but that doesn't cut it anymore. I also don't like the government here anymore. Well, I'll stop now. Needed to say what I feel. My family/friends don't want or need to hear all this. Thanks for listening. irina1975

8 Replies

Wow, Burma! You sure have a lot buzzing around up there! Internal «tearing» can be so uncomfortable, can’t it?

I’ve never heard of «high functioning depression». «High functioning autism» yes, but «high functioning depression» is new to me.

I’m just going to throw this out there: borderline personality disorder. Some of your thoughts are in tune with this. I could be way of mark with this (and probably am).

in reply to

Hi Jess. Just saw your 'like' and was happy to hear from you. I went back and re-read my post about High functioning depression from 4 months ago. And wanted to update. I am still having my rls sx but not taking any meds yet. Am trying to manage them in other ways for now. Have been concentrating on my ThyroidUK forum as it was discovered that my primary physician (PCP) has been undertreating and mismanageing my thyroid situation for a couple of years. I have now changed doctors. I suspected this but finally labs and symptoms hit rock bottom and was finally steered to a wonderful endocrinologist. He has been seeing me since early April and my labs and vitamin levels were so low he said much of my depression, anxiety, nerve pain, brain fog, etc is caused by this. For example my Vit D level was 16 (20-200) and I am now on 50,000 IU weekly for 12 weeks. After 3 doses much of my chronic body muscle and joint pain resolved. Ferritin, B12 were also dreadful and I wasn't on the the right thyroid meds or dosages. Now I have been on a good therapeutic path for about 2 months and feeling much differently. Still have a ways to go and I know this is not a thyroid forum but I wanted to share because I've learned that undertreated hypothyroidism is almost an 'epidemic' not only in the (US) but world wide. It causes so many symptoms that can be dismissed or attributed to other body systems and diagnoses. I have realized other medical problems I have (rls, atrial fib) cannot be treated optimally without optimal endocrine functioning For me, it hasn't lessened my rls but it is giving me back my ability to cope with other problems and not feel so paralyzed and overwhelmed about finding solutions for other life situations I don't like. I still have many things to resolve but at least I'm getting back my ability to make changes. Just wanted to share this as many doctors dismiss symptoms, check a couple of thyroid tests and if they are within range tell us we are fine. This is often not the case as having labs of any kind that are in range are not enough for many of us-we need higher with-in range levels. I wrote this on my rls and a-fib forums because I believe, like our cardiac system, our encrinology problems, if not correctly treated, affects the rest of out bodies. And, IMO, to heal many other situations, we need to first get our thyroid and adrenal hormones to a therapeutic range. If my thoughts resonate with anyone may I suggest browsing through the ThyroidUK forum here on HU. For me it was an eyeopener and definitely the Universe guiding my health care. By the way, with my Vit D, B12, Folate, and Ferritin numbers well on their way to optimum levels, it has helped many of my neuro symptoms, incl my rls. Hope this info helps someone. It is making a huge difference for me. Thanks for listening. The news about Anthony Bourdain's suicide Friday reminded me of how so many 'high- functioning'people' can hide their true feelings for years until they can't anymore. irina1975

I think you are depressed, very unhappy at the least and in need of support and action. You talk of moving into senior living so I know you are older and are struggling in some way. Have you been diagnosed with depression or are you taking medication for it?

The damage that RLS along with the sleep deprivation and lack of relaxation and comfort can push people very close to the edge - I've been there myself on occasions. There are numerous people that are unhappy, bordering on depression or depressed that are plodding through their lives detached to a degree but doing what they need to cover up their low mood - I know one guy who always had a smile on his face that hung himself - he was in his mid 20's and no one would have guessed there was a problem he hid it that well. if

As I said I know very little so really cannot say a lot but if you don't want to live where you live and you have a debilitating health problem then you are not going to be content and happy - changes are needed. What I can advise for a very quick change you can make is to try a vegan diet.

I am 3 weeks into it for my RLS and ME and my body is at peace without taking extra drugs, (I have all body RLS). I can sit for a movie, I can lie in bed I can be a normal person and my mood and everything has improved along with it. If I had of found out about this in my teens I would have saved myself over 30 years of hell. Jebus but I was close to the edge at times and if I hadn't a wife and damily I know I would have killed myself long ago. Thank God they were a reason to live that kept me until I got rid of the RLS, (which I have had since infancy).

On night I took some ice cream, ( I LOVE my ice cream) but within an hour my body was squirming and I decided then and there as long as my body is quiet I will be a vegan. IF the RLS starts up again I'll be having a very large steak with my chips and veg :)

Hope things start moving in the right direction. Please check out about iron supplements in the search bar at top left of page - put in gentle iron for some damn good advice.

in reply to

Hi raffs. Thank you for your-obviously -thoughtful reply. I agree re the vegan diet. I have done it before and lost weight and was able to get off many drugs. Then I started getting 'foot loose and fancy free' with food and know it;s time to get serious again You gave a good example of what I meant by 'high-functioning depression'-re your friend that hid his depression so well. I have an appt with a new rls neurologist in April and I am going to level with him about everything going on with me. I have been on antidepressants before-the dreaded Prozac. I have an RX but I don't want to go back on it because I know it's so bad for rls. I know this new doc is going to be a light at the end of the rls tunnel as another member of this forum has already seen him. He also lives in the Atlanta area and from what he has shared about his first visit, these docs 'get it'. I really thought I was doing ok til I started making notes for my upcoming visit and seeing my thoughts on paper was an eyeopener for me. I once had a psychiatrist tell me years ago that I "did a great normal!" I imagine that's what the article I read re "high-functioning depression" means. I am giving myself another year- as I recently signed my new yearly lease- to make plans to move out of senior living; have other issues to deal with first. Where I live is really nice and probably not much different than other places. I grew up in a house and never lived this close with masses of people before. I wouldn't move to another senior living but would go back to my own apt in a regular bldg. I'll make changes slowly. I feel I'm on the right path and things will turn out the way they are supposed to. They usually do; I just have a problem with patience. As the saying goes: "Please God give me patience,and I want it NOW! Re iron, I am ready to start the iron bisglycinate. My EP surgeon agrees but suggest I wait til I'm off the Coumadin-which is right around the corner. Will keep you and others posted. I do know that giving up even a little independence is very difficult for some seniors. I's sure I'm one. I've always taken care of others and it's hard for me to accept help. Thanks again, raffs. PS I also enjoy the humor I often see in your posts. irina1975

jan_ET profile image
jan_ET in reply to

hi raffs im relatively new snd was wondering what meds hou were on pre RLS and what you did to sort it out please Many thanks, Jan

Hi Irina, I get what you're saying. I wasn't aware of the expression 'high functioning depression' but I understand where you're coming from. And regarding another reply, I don't think it rings any bells with me re BPD. I think it's a case of hiding the depression and forcing yourself to act 'normal' as other folk often don't want to listen and anyway you can't mention how you feel non stop. The alternative is to sit and do nothing so you force yourself and pretend on the outside. I think the dislike of non stop sociability is part of this even though it's also 'normal' to like some privacy. I don't know what the answer is. One of the symptoms of depression is a lack of enjoyment of usual activities and an inability to look forward to anything with enthusiasm so it can be hard to tell what is a 'real' dislike and what is a 'depression' dislike. And of course if you have RLS the sleep deprivation makes you prone to depression and you lose the wish to chat to people. All very hard to work out what to do.

Bajatom profile image
Bajatom

Hi Irina, I've been there and into deep depression after I retired from teaching. I got through it after two years, but sometimes find myself high functioning as u describe. We live two different lives. During the summer and fall it is a senior community in a large city, separate homes but Central clubhouse. We are active and walk, swim bike, garden daily. But I am like u. I stay away from group activities, bingo, cards, potlucks, etc. Can only handle a few friends we have made who are also active. Our second life is winter spring when we go to our small home in a remote and wild area of Mexico. There we can be far from people or join out door unorganized activities such as hiking, bird watching, star gazing. Often I do these alone for hours and learn all I can by reading. As long as I am learning, exploring, and sharing with a few like minded friends I am fine. I can proceed alone or in a group depending how I feel.

Raff's is right about benefits of plant-based whole food nutrition PBWF. I prefer that description to vegan since chips, coke, candy, chocolate, and crap could be considered vegan. PBWF has gotten both of us off all medicine in our 80s except for RLS. But this gives us the health to deal with RLS.

Go to YouTube and watch the free movie just released on PBWF by author and son of The China Study that proved the benefit of PBWF nutrition. It's called PLANT PURE NATION. It will give u ideas and encouragement. I find setting and working slowly toward goals with hobbies, nutrition, etc helps my mood. Best wishes for success.

in reply to Bajatom

Hi Bajatom. You're description of 'high-functioning depression' is exactly how I understood it and is very close to what I feel. As you said about teaching, for years my identity (and probably a lot of my self-worth) was tied up in nursing. I don't have that career anymore and sometimes feel like I'm not 'contributing' any more. I believe raffs has a valid point re WFPB diet and am trying to get back to healthier eating. It's a complicated subject for seniors and the answer is not as simple as 'go volunteer'. It's, in my opinion, about discovering what the final lessons are we are here to learn. I will go to the youtube video. I have the book 'The China Study.' Have not read it completely because as you know it is a lengthy 'tome' not meant for light reading. So I read it in bits and pieces, skipping around, like a reference book. I believe my feeling are meant to provide a period of time for me to figure what the rest of my life should involve. (Like 'the dark night of the soul') A new learning curve if you will. Will just take things a day at a time. Not make any sudden changes. And continue to ask for guidance. I suspect lots of seniors are having the same thoughts/doubts/questions. Thanks for your thoughtful, in depth comments. Take care. irina1975 PS I also think it's important to not let my brain veg but keep learning til it's time to move on!.

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