Hilarious

What Really Happens When You Quit Smoking

- The Untold Story -

20 minutes after quitting

You begin looking for loopholes in your quit commitment, thinking about postponing the whole arrangement until after the next millennium begins.

After 8 hours

You have already contemplated at least three murders and several other brutal acts of violence.

After 24 Hours

Your city or town declares a mysterious and unforeseen water shortage, while municipal sewers are suddenly overwhelmed.

After 1 week

You have consumed enough calories to sustain a Bengali village of 2,000 for four years. Food shortages become critical within your region; pets and local wild animals become nervous.

After 2 weeks

Quitzits establish early outposts on your face. Risk of Browser's Butt Syndrome (BBS) rises to equal that for 13-year-old boys with new computers and Internet access. Smileys appear in your writing and begin to replicate

Within 1 month

You have already begun to pester smokers and complain about the smell of their obnoxious cigarettes; IQ returns to low double-digits; Quitzits begin to function autonomously. Exclamation point shortages prevail across the land.

After 6 weeks

You may have experienced your first bowel movement since your quit began; if not, be patient, it will happen within a few more weeks.

After 2 months

You begin to forget the pain and misery of the first week without cigarettes, and are wondering if you could, perhaps, remind yourself of what you've been missing; Quitzits establish territorial treaties with each other.

After 5 months

Intelligence returns to at least 60% of its pre-quit level; concentration remains a problem, at only 50%; carpal tunnel syndrome incidence exceeds all known levels for any keyboard-intensive occupation; you have typed more words than are contained within all the works of William Shakespeare, but with more flair and "sparkle".

After 6 months

You wonder why you ever waited this long to quit.

It's way, way, worth it!!

5 Replies

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  • Absolutely great 👍 Ninja, you're describing my quit to the letter.....

    🤣😂🤣😂🤣

    Karen xx

    🚭👍👏

  • Hahaha Karen, was way too funny!

  • Brilliant :D xxx

  • :D :D :D

  • I luv it🤣🤣🤣 plenty of flair and sparkle 👍🏼😊

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