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[american_army_guy]

I am thankful for you all....  I see the many members over the year leave here after quitting and that tells me it has to get easier and better......  My anxiety issues I brought along with me upset me because these are not your problems and I'm not your problem and it makes me feel so down.....  If I get better from both I'm going to be on here as long as I live helping with both.........

Not sure where id be without you all.  The relief I get when I see the little orange number.......  

I love you all and I mean that....  I know bad day are ahead, but I know some good ones are too and I have you all to talk to.....  

I found a trigger to my panic....

Its death.....  My dad dying, my friends in the military, my friends last summer from their life styles, just death in general and it came out of no where..... That and losing my ex's little girl......  I can take alot but that was the nail in the coffin......  

I'm sorry you all.....  Laying here in pitch black in tears........  

I want to feel better.....

[Briarwood Administrator LONG TERM WINNER]

We are here to help you and please don't feel you're a problem coz you're not. This is the whole basis of our quit family......, to help one another and that's what we all want to do. You have had a great deal of sadness in your life and you will have good days and bad days. Always remember you're not alone. You want to feel better and you will, just be patient with yourself😊 I'm off to bed as it's 2am here so I'll wish you good night and hope for a better day tomorrow. There is always hope😴

[droopyJ]

Hey AAG.... We don't just discuss quitting cigs on here, people have stuff going on in their lives and we give them the forum to let it out. 

I'd be a smoker if it wasn't for this forum, I nearly lost my little brother 6 months ago and he's still in hospital (they still ask me how he's doing) then I had a huge motorway accident in which I honestly thought I was going to die.... I still don't know how I didn't...

The good people on here got me through both.

You have witnessed far more than a person should and your poor brain is in overload. Once you come to terms with how to handle it your brain will deal with it and you will go back to being a regular happy guy. If we can help you get there by whatever means possible then we will and encourage you to stay smoke free too 😊

No one on here is a burden, we're just regular joe's supporting each other through life with the aim of being smoke free and the added bonus of enriched lives with our cyber family😊

You'll get there, you really are stronger than you think. All this crap going on in your life and you have quit smoking and caffeine.... Most people don't even quit one!!

One day at a time AAG..... 😊👍💛

[american_army_guy 6 Weeks Winner in reply to droopyJ]

Thanks, I am in pure tears right now.....  Just hurts so bad......  I miss my Dad......  I miss My friends in the military, I miss my little girl the most, she's what kept me going for so long........  I just didn't want to be here at 30......  Sometimes i wonder if the world would have been better without me.......  Sometimes I wish this panic was a heart attack so id just die already but then I feel bad for saying that.....  Just sucks, but thank you and I'm sorry for what happened to you......  I just feel weak from this.....

[droopyJ in reply to american_army_guy]

The world would definitely NOT be a better place without you in it. Could you imagine how your family and friends would feel?? Please don't ever feel like that it will get better but it takes time to heal, especially from a wound you can't see.

Tomorrow is a new day and with it comes new hope 😊

Good night AAG 😊💛

[kimberly434 5 MONTH WINNER]

We are

[Maddyg]

Please hang on in there , we are here to listen and support you whatever.  Please don't ever think the world would be a better place , because it Certainly wouldn't. Think of your family sister and her kids who love you. My father took his own life and left me and my sister, that led to us being put in a home, his mother never got over it. I have never got over it. Never ever think that. Go back to GP and tell him how you are thinking and feeling please. I feel for you and want you to get the right support , we are here for you , sending hugs and prayers . Stay strong, but please make that call to GP I hate to think of you laying there in such a state.

Xxx 

[droopyJ in reply to Maddyg]

💛💛💛

[Hidden]

Hang in there guy. I think that is a fear for all of us. The only thing that mends a broken heart is time and talking about it.  Were all ears and have broad shoulders. 💪👍

[american_army_guy 6 Weeks Winner]

Thanks you guys, I didn't mean to kill my self but thought how would things be without me being born, I'm sorry.....  I am down so I understand.......  I had a major attack today, first time I didn't run to the E.R. Thinking I was having a heart attack, hell thought hell if I am then so be it and lets get this over with.....  If I went to the er I would feel dumb and idiotic......  

Feel like hell, like the first day I was on this site but I'm smoke free caffiene free, and I didn't give in to panic and run....  I stood my ground.....  Not today anxiety!!!!

Anyways love you guys and thank you.......  Thank you for being there......

[droopyJ in reply to american_army_guy]

Hey AAG.... Well that's a plus that you didn't go to the ER 😊 

Sounds like you have had a better day.... 😊

[Maddyg in reply to american_army_guy]

So glad today seems you feel a bit better. I'm proud of you. You are a very strong young man. You will come through this dark period of time in your life. I hope it's very soon. You have been through so much, stay strong for You and all those who love you here and now and for the loved ones you have lost  x 

Well done on your quit too , your doing great, I'm am praying for you tonight sending hugs xx

[Andrew-S]

Hi American Guy, you seem a bit better today. Sorry I didn't see your post yesterday, hope you don't mind me saying but it sounds like you might be suffering with depression. Panic attacks and anxiety can be linked to this. It might be worth seeing your doctor and talking about anti depressants as these can help not only with depression but anxiety as well. 

Just a thought hope u don't mind me sticking my nose in but your post yesterday seemed like you are in a dark place. There is help available and of course everyone on to site will do their best to support you. Take care. 😀