NO ONE TALKS TO ME :(

[bandit2]

I love u r all reading what I say thats awsome but u dont respond to me. Im lonely my buddy isnt on guess she is blue. If u "like" what I say great TALK to me, I have to keep my fingers occupied somehow lol no fun if I cant conversate. See my stupid smileys dont change into colorful yellow emicons. I want ducks, and lips and stuff. Can someone send a link to me or tell me how to get them on my computer so I can play too. Hell I can put a duck when I want to say !!!!!! ha ha didnt say it but u knew what I meant didnt u lol.

[NgaireM]

Hi, I am not a great conversator to be honest. I quit smoking after a few years of moaning about side effects and what a misery quitting was and why did I bother? Then I found out I had kidney cancer, so an operation to remove it was required - fear made quitting possible before anaesthetic, being unwell continued the quit and then help from this forum kept me on the straight and narrow.

You have done brilliantly for 11 weeks - BRAVO and well done 👄👄👄💋💋👣🐤🐤🐤🍾🍾🍾🍾

I am technophobic - the stuff just appears on my iPad

Cheers Ngaire xx (sorry, not Mme tobacco)

[iris8 8 MONTH WINNER in reply to NgaireM]

And how are you doing now Ngaire, are you all clear?...

[NgaireM in reply to iris8]

Hi, Fingers crossed its all clear now with a watch and wait brief!

[bandit2 in reply to NgaireM]

congrats to you on beating the devils (cancer and smoking) did u do chemo. I just found out if I get cancer I cannot do chemo as I have dental implants and unless they want to pay new ones these babies are never coming out til I die. The nerve telling people they have to remove them. Why I have no idea. This may sound gross (warning dont read if u get offended) if I had to get cancer I want boob cancer so I could get them cutt off and get a new pair lol up where they are supposed to be. U get them free cause I could never afford that and u can pick your size Id have real bouncy titties. Not to diminish what u went thru just my prefence if u could have one.

What the heck is technophobic never heard of it so obviously I am not lol. Thankyou for replying, yes I miss my friend big time, my loss, maybe I will go away for a while too its not the same

[NgaireM in reply to bandit2]

Hi Bandit 😀 My name is actually Ngaire - pronounced Nyree - and no chemo for me. I researched, discussed with docs and found that clear cell renal carcinoma does not respond well to chemo, it is very slow growing and as I am already 68 will probably never choose to have chemo in the future. Maybe a transplant if my other kidney gets too bad?

Your teeth look lovely and have a good chance to stay that way now that you have quit. Smoking is very hard on teeth and gums, so congratulations!!!🍾🍾🍾🍾

[bandit2 in reply to NgaireM]

thankyou for the compliment but those r the ones I had to have removed they stopped looking like that when the infection took hold thats why I had to get implants the infection almost killed me literally but Im here now and so r u so we both got thru a mess. Im so glad u didnt do chemo Ive heard it can do more harm than good and there are alternative methods now thank god.

Once my surgeries are complete I will have hollywood white teeth lol. That pic was taken a year ago, when the infection took over my teeth went almost black and one of the front ones grew and grew looked like a beaver tooth just hanging down not pretty at all.

Can I ask cause I dont know where u live or the medical rules. R u allowed to go on a transplant list now instead of waiting and having to do dialysis (cant spell) so if it doesnt do well u r already waiting. That makes more sense to me cause here they make u wait til its not a good situation and then put u the list. I have a ? How do u know if someone replies cause all my notifications said liked but my email (personal one) told me I had replies. I know their were glitches I was told that but I thought it would be fixed. Maybe Im not looking in the right place lol could be for sure

[NgaireM in reply to bandit2]

Hi again, I can only imagine the pain you have been through - trouble in the mouth is always magnified isn't it?

However the results will be worth it won't they? Not smoking will improve the blood flow in your gums and help your new surgery.

My left kidney is working well enough for now and no, they don't put you on the transplant list here (Melbourne, Australia) until you actually need one. My doctor says that until we get more targeted chemo therapies, current chemo is like throwing an atom bomb at a mouse!

I know very little about technology - if it works, wonderful, if it doesn't - help! So I can't help with your question - sorry.

Cheers for now, Ngaire xx

[bandit2 in reply to NgaireM]

Your dr is 100% right. I believe if David Bowie had stayed away from chemo and just done the new treatment he would still be alive, u too radiation kills everything. Sounds like u r in good hands with a great dr. Im techno dummy but hoping someone will take pitty on me. When I finally get my pearly whites I will definately post my big old smile"hollywood white" lol

[Hidden in reply to NgaireM]

Hi Ngaire, Ha ha ha.......me either...............

Hi Bandit2,

I usually don`t have full blown conversations with people......just have quick supportive talk about not lighting up and sometimes someone will have me in stitches (like Andrew) ha ha...... so it all balances out for me.....

youre doing awesome on your quit journey......

Hang in there!!!

Arizona

xx

[iris8 8 MONTH WINNER]

Here and ready to listen....Don't buy into that lonliness gimmitry-have wasted a lot of my life in that and I can tell you there's no growth in it. I'm trying to be brave and try a few things I haven't before or increasing things I enjoy; eg: movement/dance. Got my train tickets last night for Manchester & leeds. Would be so easy for me to sit back on my laurels, done it so many times. Read in someone's post, discipline and I'm starting to smell it. Discipline that allows this spirit to feel precious and free, may you to today!

[bandit2 in reply to iris8]

trust me I would like to excersice but this poor old body cant anymore its too painful and I dont have my meds anymore. Deteriorating discs I have my excersise is cleaning the house which kills my back especially vaccuuming. Dont get me wrong I love that people like what I said but I couldnt respond to LIKE lol. Thanks for your input and u r doing great and sound so much more positive than when I first talked to you. Im proud of you, I hope u found a newbie to help u thru the tough spots

[Hidden]

were all here for you bandit, never forget this, whether you need to get something off your chest, or just want someone to BS with to take your mind off things, were always here, and together, we can make this journey happen.

[bandit2 in reply to Hidden]

thanks for the cheers but as for getting stuff off my chest I have to be careful there is protocol and I have no ducks to protect my language get it lol lol. Wish I could find these friggin emicons so I could bleeep bleep !!!!!!!! with pictures lmao

[droopyJ]

Hi bandit/Debbie (confusing now that you've changed your name 😛)

How are the headaches as you haven't mentioned them for a while now?

Also when you post could you choose 'community' and not 'everyone' please as this locks the post within quit support otherwise everything you say gets put on the wide ole web 😊 Thanks

[bandit2 in reply to droopyJ]

I had no idea no-one told me squat when I came on here and there is much to learn, I wondered what that community stuff was. Im always afraid to change settings because I dont want to lose where I am. I knew nothing about private messages, threads, news feeds duck all lol and still I dont and Im sure newbies on here dont know either. I will change my community thank you for the heads up. Hell I dont want to offend anyone else hey maybe I shld start with "warning this could be offensive" like they do on tv and movies lmao

[bandit2 in reply to droopyJ]

Droopy my pal I changed my name because I was the only a-hole to use a proper name so I wanted to be like everyone else. Meet my dog Bandit I couldnt even figure how to get my old puss in the pic and in my profile if u look u will see me but Im cutt off lol. I am on quit support Droopy I never changed anything at least I dont think I did.

Headaches are still there 24-7 but bi-zitching got me in hot water so now Im a lady lol lol. I think I need a break and somehow learn the rules on here. I suggest a tutorial for newbies with the do's and donts, protocol and how to make your way around the forum ie private messages vs notifications vs news feeds. I knew nothing about these things then and just learned a few now after what 10 weeks of being on here. I know u helped me a few times. But learning the hard way sucks and hurts.

Thanks for all your help and saying hi

[droopyJ in reply to bandit2]

There's a glitch with the system which means we are not getting the replies just likes...... It's nothing personal ☺️

There are sections you can read as to what means what, I'm a complete novice when it comes to IT and we have had many changes to the site and the way it looks over the past 18months, you get used to it. Every now and again one of us will put out about locking posts and why we do it. The turn around of quitters can be quite high so it's impossible to get to everyone..... Although maybe we could have a pinned post on common bits relating to this site..... I'll ask glolin and monky.😊

As to behaviour on this site, that should be a given. Respect, acceptable behaviour and language should be the norm. I don't belong to any other support groups but assume they should all be like this?? People forget that when you say something to someone they get the connotation through tone used, when you put it in writing you don't get the tone...... Or in some cases the punctuation is in the wrong place and it makes the sentence completely different to what is meant. As long as we are aware of that then we should be ok 😊

It's been a while but if you hover your mouse over some of the 😊 it tells you how to do em.... I'd a smiley face is : and then a ) a sad face is : and then a ( A wink is ; and then ) but have no gaps between them 😀. Hope that helps ya

[bandit2 in reply to droopyJ]

U have always been so kind and patient with me. Im totally illiterate when using computers and I now u have told me numerous times what things r and where and even then I didnt understand but I keep plugging away til I found what u told me. The language thing I did not know, I was copying what I saw because I didnt have smiley faces so I omitted certain letters but I guess the jist was implied and not acceptable.

All sites are different some tell u from the get go some language may be offensive so then its your choice to stay or leave. Some use letter omissions like I did and others are more proper like this one. To each his own. U have been mucho helpful to me and I have learned alot from you about the site, your quit, my quit, support, and I really appreciated it. Lord knows I must have tried your patience having to tell me the same thing over and over til I finally got it lol.

Hard to teach this old dog new tricks. lmao

[droopyJ in reply to bandit2]

No problem..... Not sure I'd want to go on some of those sites where it's ok to be like that.... Guess I'm just an ole fashion gal 😊😊

[bandit2 in reply to droopyJ]

Im still only getting likes how about you? Good thing I can see responses on my email ha ha

[droopyJ in reply to bandit2]

Nope still only see likes 🙁

[bandit2 in reply to droopyJ]

thankyou for letting me know about the likes. I thought it was only me. U think they will let us now when its fixed via a post?

Droopy the other sites arent bad its about choices and to be honest how I felt at the start was angry and frustrated and getting it out perhaps being derogatory felt real good because I have no-one to let loose on except my poor dog Now Im a little more calm not as angry so I guess there are different stages we all go thru, so now when I feel like being naughty and being a potty mouth I can go and speak my mind.

When Im calmer I come here. I get the best of both and love it

[Hidden in reply to droopyJ]

Hi I am on a few HU sites for different health problems and all the sites have the same problems but it has been reported

[bandit2 in reply to Hidden]

What is HU? Im thinking u r talking about just getting Likes! Good thing mine also go to my personal email or Id be real lonely lol. Thanks for your input and good for you 18 month winner. Im plugging away to be u one day. Geeze I forget time difference its 5am here I get no sleep U must be waking up?

[Briarwood Administrator LONG TERM WINNER]

Hiya Debbie, think it's just sometimes when our time zones are different and also I know with me that I pop on for just a few minutes and dont get time for a chat🙁

As far as I know you'll need a tablet or phone for the ducks🐤🐤 and lips etc👄👄 I just enjoy making the posts a bit colourful but you're doing great so well done hun👍🏼😊

[bandit2 in reply to Briarwood]

thankyou for telling me I guess my computer is a dinosaur just like me no bells or whistles (cant spell)

[bandit2 in reply to Briarwood]

check this out had I not seen u responded to me in my personal email. I would not have known since it didnt show in my notifications, it just showed u liked it. Maybe Ive been cut off from communicating with people cause it showed I had like 10 notifications but when I checked they were all old likes. hmmm weird eh maybe I need a time out of here.

Ya I made them colorful alright and offended some people in the process. Why they would read something that offended them is beyond me. Its like tv if you dont like what u see or hear u change the channel not watch it right.

If I had ducks they would be great a substitute get it lol lol but I dont Im trying to find some but with no luck. I cant even get a regular tool bar up and going. Need computer for dummies. Thanks for taking time to talk to me.

[monky Administrator 35 Months Winner in reply to bandit2]

Good afternoon Debbie

1 - Please just calm down a bit eh there is no need to take a back seat at all You are doing ever so well on your quit journey and I hope your very PROUD of yourself cos am dead proud of ya gal I see your very nearly a 12 weeks Winner too

2 - The notifications arnt working properly at the moment but Health Unlocked are busy fixing it so should come good soon maybe

3 - Debbie, you live in Canada and there is about a 7 hour difference between you and most of us here in the UK, we are in front of you sooooo, if you post in your evening, most of us are in bed, zzzzzzzzing it Just a thought gal.

4 - About 6 months after I joined this lovely quit support community, I had a bit of a ermmm, confrontation with another member on here ( this was wayyyy before I was made a Admin ) I got a rite flippin good telling off by Emjay Since then, I have used the smillies and the word - Flippin - instead of swearing We dont mind the odd bit of language but not too much eh thats all we ask

5 - If you want a good old rant and rave Debbie, then goooo ahead gal, give it some but please try to keep the language down to a minimum eh Thank you

6 - I have put a post up for you and other members telling you how to make smilies even on a dummy computer PS, I think you may like the last one best - Print the list off or just write them down on a bit of paper you will soon get used to using them

7 - I am very nearly 20 months quit now and all due to this lovely community and the lovely helpful members on it who helped me get through the bad times, the struggles, depression, etc, etc and we had some great laughs too This is why I am still here, with the help of quite a few other long time members we try to help people like you to quit smoking cos we all know how hard it is and what most of you are going through

8 - As for a tutorial of this forum, our lovely Glolin has come up with a great idea, we put it on the Pinned Posts do you think that would help you and all the new members

Hope to speak soon Debbie

Pete

[bandit2 in reply to monky]

No I think it should be done in 2 parts before anyone commits to the site they shld know the rules of conduct just as u have told me which is appreciated because I was mimicking others and didnt know of any protocol. I figured as long as I left out letters it would be cool.

I think it shld be stipulated from the start that the occassional yell out is ok but not on a regular basis. I also feel if there is a problem it shld be handles with diplomacy and privately to that person ONLY not an announcement that so an so's post is being deleted and why. Centering out people is just as bad and threatening to kick them out is wrong.

I am a retired certified harm reduction and peer health worker, I dealt with addicts of all kinds everyday and the one thing we were told over and over that every person mattered and what they said whether we understood it or not and not to supress what anyone was feeling. They needed to release because otherwise keeping things in only festers the addiction.

U yourself as u have told me were where I was, the beginning of a quit is a bitch and Im sorry for my language but I needed to release how I felt. I dont have a sounding board (family) as others might.

As time goes on your language and attitude will change on its own.

If a person decides to become part of the group like I said a tutorial of everything on the site needs to be explained and in a post from either you or Glolin. I didnt know a pinned post from the hole in the ground. I had to u many times ask where and what a badge was. Private messages are indeed a must as community vs everyone I just learned that one. Just as when u make a post who reads it. I never knew any of this and was very confused.

As far as Im concerned the way myself and another person were handled was totally a form of abuse and power not a stitch of compassion or thought as to maybe we saw it from others who were never chastized or people who used pics to express naughty words which I am not privy too.

Maybe someone can find a toolbar to download so we can all utilize the DUCKS if u know what Im getting at.

Im not enjoying my time off but Im too angry, upset and embarrassed to be around anyone right now. I need to find my space again and regroup. Til then I hope my input has helped and it saves someone else from being centered out. If I could read private messages then they arent too private are they.

I needed to fee safe but all I feel is violated, do u understand?

[monky Administrator 35 Months Winner in reply to bandit2]

Hi Debbie-T

For one thing, I have never ever ever abused anybody on this forum !!!!!! NORRRRRR do I use the power unless I think its needed !!!! All I and the other admins are here for is to help you to quit smoking and keep this lovely community safe and sound BUT, saying that, if a member should step out of line, then we react to that !!! as you did, ok, Debbie, I think we all need to let lose now and again BUT BUT, not on ever post !!!!!

I do not like your attitude one little bit !!!! for a lot of our lovely members have tried to help you find your way around this forum and have tried to help and advise you BUT, you just havnt responded to most of them !!!!

Out of 3,241 members on this forum, YOU are the only one to complain !!!! Think about it !!!

Debbie, if you are truly here to quit smoking, then we will all help you

Look gal, I know, we know how hard it is during our quit smoking journey, cos we've been their !!!! It is a very hard trail, but with the help of our lovely members on here it could be easier Its entirely up to you Debbie, either you want help or not !!! the balls in your court as they say !!!!

Pete