OMG OMG OMG TOUGH!!!!
BOOOO HOOOOO SNIFF
This is sooooooo HARD.
But through the hellish day yesterday with my brain telling me to quit with the quitting I managed to drive down to the south coast an hour away with my beautiful son. As much as I was sooooo in my own head and black mood I managed to go crab hunting with him. Didn't even collapse in a big heap when we returned to the car to find the dreaded yellow sticky on the screen!!!!! Just stuck it back on the screen and went and bought fish and chips safe in the knowledge I couldn't get another ticket!
Today the morning was full of tears and misery and whys, but for the first time my son can remember, I sat eating a boiled egg and toast and cup of tea with him whilst we watched his charmed. Headed off for a walk round a national park when the sun came out. Today had a few smiles. But need to exorcise this bloody rock in my stomach..... its soooooo tiring! Its a mind thing.....having suffered depression some 9 years ago I know I am not that bad and I pray to god that I stay strong in my mental battle. WO a WEEK!