Day 3

This morning I replied to the beautiful people who took the time to respond to my cries for help.

" I'm crying as I type ( surprise!!) its nice to know its normal?? I try and think of the positives, but the negatives seem so bloody HUGE!! It is such a battle. I am finding that any of the things that aggravated me as a smoker are now IMMENSE..... this is where my anger is directed..... its as if my wall of bullet proof material ( the fag to calm me down ) has now disappeared and the people, things, me are now so in HD its knocking me in to a spiral. I feel like every now and then I gasp a mouthful of air before disappearing back in to the crying weeping wreck!! I hope you all don't mind my writing this, but thought it might help someone else who finds themselves on day three not wanting to give up giving up but find these feelings so horrifying. Im not gonna smoke NOPE! I just wanna sleep and feel better. My beautiful son ( autistic ) makes me feel worth it. :-)"

Not long after typing the above my daughter text me to say bananas were full of the natural mood enhancer tryptophan... as well as the b6,b12, potassium and magnesium. I immediately started on a banana, anything to stop me crying (please god). I read through the responses and felt that there was a chance. I even found myself smirking at the schizophrenic me walking aimlessly round saying Im happy through the inane sobbing. There have been moments today where the sadness lifted. I thank you guys on here for this!!! Ive cried a LOT, and I am still REALLY REALLY angry at things I have no control over. Instead of hiding from things behind the vail of smoke, they are jumping out of my muddled brain and slapping me hard ..... I AM NOT lying when I say this is HARD!!! But it is day 3 and I HAVE had glimmers of sanity. I have even felt a little pang of proudness :)) but am tentative about being too proud as I am not strong. But Im still going. Thank you again.... this site is a REAL HELP!! xx I hope I sleep tonight?! Maybe tomorrow I'll have more spaces of relief?

6 Replies

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  • Hiya jaglan, an amazing coincidence as I was just wondering how you were and you've posted, great. Don't just feel a little bit proud, feel a lot proud as this quitting malarkey is hard, very hard. You are doing it though and each hour adds up, then days add up. these feelings will pass I promise you. Stay strong and you will win this battle and I'm sending hugs to help you😊x

  • thank you thank you Briarwood......it truly is the sadness that is getting to me. But.....tomorrow is another day......I am getting respite from the continuous ache in my belly.... so I thank god for that and I am grateful :))

    The quitting experiences that have been gone through by the ones who quit before has kept me strong.

  • Yes I agree with you as there are lots of inspiring people who have come through some incredible adversities on here. Major health issues and bereavement to mention a few and have inspired us to continue. Better days ahead for you so keep going jaglan😊x

  • Hi Jaglan you have got through another day which is just super πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

    These feelings will pass soon and you will feeling a whole lot better πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

    We are all sending strength vibes yor way ( theses one may take awhile as they are coming from Australia) πŸš€πŸš€

    Try and stay positive and believe in yourself the way we do πŸ˜€πŸ˜€πŸ˜€

  • thank you guys xxx soooooo want to sleep ....... how long b4 this insomnia passes.....

    soon i hope ..... thank you for your words of support, it TRULY does help 😊x

  • Oh Jaglan I feel for you. You've brought back memories of the early days when I used to mope about crying like a baby feeling sorry for myself and thinking how sad it was that I couldn't smoke.

    But it passed and I look back now and laugh at the way I felt. So please hang in there, you're doing great.

    Just go along with the sadness, anger, depression anxiety or whatever you're feeling and let it all wash over you. Keep reminding yourself it won't last and it's just the stupid addiction trying to lure you back.

    Take care

    Kas

    Xx

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