Day 6. Mentally doing well. Physical pain is a real worry though. But I'm free!

Dear all

I have found the stories and support on this site inspiring so I thought I must join, share my experience and ask for your views. It's day 6 for me CT. I am very much over the initial psychological withdrawal and am finding it OK. The physical side and some loneliness is much harder. Let me explain.

I smoked on and off for 13 years, from my late teens. A 10 Marlboro lights a day habit. Stopped completely when I was 20 until I was 26 - a girlfriend simply wouldn't have it - and then carried on again until I was 31.

At that point I was married and we wanted to start a family. My wife and I both smoked, so we went to a hypnotherapist to help us stop. I found it powerful and we both quit. Unfortunately I fell off the wagon about 9 months after that and then became a manipulative, highly stressed drug addict - the much maligned 'secret smoker.'

I've now just turned 35, have a wonderful non-smoking wife (she's never touched them since being hypnotised) and two beautiful daughters - a 2 year old and a 4 week old.

As you can appreciate, though I don't want sympathy, living as a secret smoker for the last 3 years has been horrendous. Longing for my wife to go out for the evening, only smoking at work, carrying a change of clothes, toothpaste and spray everywhere. Going days and sometimes a week without a fag due to family holidays. And so constantly facing withdrawal. In fact I have become quite accustomed to it. Hence I am not finding the initial stages right now that hard in terms of no nicotine.

I looked at my newborn over Christmas and simply thought this all must stop. Or I won't be there for any of them in the future. Also, the associated stress and anxiety of living what has become a double life has been taking it's toll.

So on the 3rd Jan I stopped. Finished for good and I am sure. No going back. I feel so free. And I feel a duty to now look after this body and hope it can recover.

Thanks for reading. I mentioned some pain. I have had constant mid/top right hand side chest pain since day 2. It is not painful, more tight and irritating. I feel it is reducing today and I think that is because I am beating the anxiety that has been smashing me since quit day. There is pain though, but I think I need to be patient and rationale for now. No hacking constant cough, bought an expected productive one every once in a while. Some sweating at night and difficulty sleeping.

I am exercising daily and consuming lots of fresh water and veg. As I said, the freedom from the habit and deceipt, it is hard to express what a blessing it is. I just need this constant chest pain to shift. Well done and good luck to you all.

23 Replies

  • Wow, you are doing really well.

    I only joined this site yesterday but i have already found the support from everyone amazing.

    I haven't experienced any physical pain since quitting but im sure some others on here will be able to give you the right advice.

    I never had to hide my smoking from my boyfriend or friends, but I always hid it from my parents, so I know that feeling of going to visit them and having to go without and living with the lie. I feel so much better now knowing i wont have to do that again.

    Good luck.


  • Thank you Jenny

  • Hi Nickdanstew, Congrats on quiting the cigs, don't worry your chest pain could be anxiety, not surprising is it. This is the best thing you will ever do for your health.

    Stay strong. Keep in touch. :-)

  • Thank you so much

  • Well done nickdanstew, Well done on getting your priorities in the right order. You sound very positive ao please keep us posted we will help if you need. As for your chest pain I wouldnt worry too much I have had lung cancer and you dont often get pain with it. Yes you may get chest infections and coughs. I think you are just anxious, not surprising the way you have been leading a double life. Get your doctor to check you out to be on the safe side. I will bob your name on our wall of winners, ready for your 1 week winners badge tomorrow. xxxx :)

  • Thank you Jilly

  • Hiya Nick and welcome to quit support :)

    Congratulations on 6 days quit, that's brilliant :)

    As Mrssunnyside has said so well about anxiety and some members have experienced this as a side effect of quitting :)

    You are doing really well and the best possible thing for your health :)

    Your body is working hard to adjust at the moment so hang in there and I hope you're feeling better soon :) x

  • Thank you so much

  • 6 days WAY better than 5 days..

    just as 7 days WILL be tomorrow...


  • You're right. Thanks for the encouragement

  • you are welcome

  • Hi nick, Well done for bring smoke free for 6 days that is really good. The chest pain will go in time. I had chest pain after I quit the cigs but other time the chest pain went. You are doing really well and keep up the good work you are doing :D xx

  • Thank you Holly

  • Your most welcome nick :D x

  • We'll done nick wow how stressful being a secret smoker eh? You must be so relieved to quit lol! I had a few days of chest pain but it passed you could go to your nurse and just have your blood pressure checked or as jilly said your gp, congratulations on your 2 children, you really have made the right decision to quit for yourself and those little ones, they need a healthy daddy so keep going nick we are all here to support you along your journey xxx

  • You're right. Thank you Sharon

  • Blimey, I'm surprised you didn't get chest pain before.... that's one helluva secret but I almost admire your level of deception with the change of clothes etc.... !!! :P

    Well done on your first week, that badge really suits ya :)

    Keep up the good work, stay strong and keep focussed - we are all here for you :)

  • Welcome to quit support nick and a massive congratulations on making the decision to quit. As you have heard, chest pain is quite a common symptom of quitting and like all the other symptoms, none seem to last for very long, so just ride the storm. You will feel a lot better off not trying to lead a double life :D :D and you have two beautiful young children that will be your constant reminder of why you are quitting :) :)

    You have got through the first week, now use the NOPE Not One Puff Ever Mantra....Tell yourself this every time you look at your family. the mind is a powerful weapon - use it to beat this addiction :) :) Good luck and remember, we are all here on the same journey and will support you along yours :) :)

  • NOPE - like that. Will do! Thank you for the mind words of support.

  • I think you're doing AMAZINGLY well.I used to hide my habit from my now ex husband on occasion when I said I'd given up & hadn't so I understand what you've been through & it's pretty horrible.Keep an eye on that pain (probably pleuritic(coming from your lungs) as they start to heal) and the fact it's right rather then left sided is all in your favour but please get it checked if it persists better safe than sorry.Be prepared in case those cravings,get worse,make plans for diversion therapy to keep your mind off the cigs tho I imagine with a new born you're pretty busy anyway.Just keep doing what you're doing & be really proud of yourself,we all are proud of you,welcome to the best 'club' in the world,that of being a non smoker.

  • Wow. Thank you for your supportive words, they mean a lot. I am now one week free and it is brilliant. Feeling very positive. I am literally enjoying my life so much more! The pain persists but I have noticed it less today, which I can only guess is good. I agree with you though - I'll keep an eye on it and if doesn't go soon I will get it checked ove . Thanks again.

  • good on you nick, it really does look as if you are on the right track now. For me, i found most symptoms that i go when i quit lasted for around 4 weeks eg the sore throat, sleepless nights, acidic stomach etc...Just knowing that they are all part of the body healing and just a temporary thing makes it so much easier. I look back now and think wow....after 40 years of smoking a pkt a day, the few symptoms are totally worth it :) :) I quit cold turkey too and even though it is initially harder and you really have to be pretty damned determined it too is worth it :) :) Keep up the great work

  • well done for having got SO far... JUST think each much EASIER life is without the subterfuge? xxxx

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