In the absence of Jilly and her poorly computer. Isn't it a fabulous day?

I have a friend who is dying of Ovarian Cancer, going to have a cup of tea with her tomorrow, she has been so strong and positive throughout the progress of her illness she puts me to shame, there isn't really much more to say other than if she can face this with strength then perhaps we all have that inner strength available to us, maybe we just need to find it. (Well I do anyway) I'm not trying to be miserable here, just thinking how remarkable she is and I would really like to find that inner woman.

23 Replies

  • So sorry to hear about your friend Friez. There's always someone worse off than yourself but we are naturally the main person inside our own little universe. It helps us to focus and realise that we're not that badly off after all.

  • Too true Andi

  • This is a beautiful post, thank you for sharing. I am so sorry to hear your friend is dying, it is hard to watch those you love suffer and pass away. I am sending you strength and big hugs at this time. You are right we all have inner strength that we need to tap into and use as fuel for our journey.

  • Positive vibes being sent to you Friezfriend that you can take along to your friend.

    Positivity in the face of such a life threatening challenge is quite often the thing that gets that person through their days, no matter how many or few they have left.

    The power of the mind is such an amazing thing and we all have the ability to control it. Whether or not we put ourselves in the right frame of mind is a choice.

    Remembering that if it's to be then it's up to me.

    Lots of prayers and well wishes for both you and your friend xx

  • Thanks everyone. :)

  • Kind of puts our little struggle well and truly into perspective doesn't't it.Frieze, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your friend.Take Care x

  • Havnt wrote on here before but was feeling so sorry for myself (stopped smoking 8 or so weeks ago) and was just checking my emails and then I read this . Puts me to shame . Will try and do something positive now .

  • Don't feel like that 8 weeks is a fantastic achievement! I can tell you I've done more than my fair share of wallowing, this is flipping hard stuff and I know many others in life are going through impossible times but this is our journey. Feeling less inspired myself today as I've just received a demand for 992.00 underpaid tax! Sob sob. :( Ordinarily of course it would be several cigarettes at the back door getting over the shock, I suppose that s one of the hardest bits, dealing with the knocks life throws at you but without using the damn things as a crutch. Tomorrows another day. :)

  • 8 weeks IS a fantastic achievement! Well done you! I'm only 5 days in and feel great about not smoking at the moment but I don't know how I will feel 8 weeks down the line. I do hope to feel positive and happy that I have managed to stick to a decision that means so much to me. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully it will be better for you, you will feel inspired again and ready to take on the world! Life will always throw you lemons but make lemonade instead of smoking. Sending big hugs x

  • Hiya Bethjayne and welcome. :)

    I started feeling really down at about 8 weeks too. I think it's because we're going through a form of mourning for our old way of life and are just missing our "friend". Come and join in the chat and we'll try and help to cheer you up. Stick with it, you are doing just brilliantly - 8 weeks is fabulous - you must be so proud of yourself. :) See you again soon, Andi. :)

  • How long have you been stopped for? How did you cope with hitting the 8 week wall? ps It's funny how we think of cigarettes as our little "friend" when actually it's our enemy. I've been reading Alan Carr which is great as it really makes you think differently about smoking.

  • I've now been stopped for nearly 17 months - abso-bloomin'-lutely yonks! Still a relatively short time compared to the forty-odd years that I smoked for. :o I got a really bad case of the glums and disappeared from the site but my friends on here cheered me up and got me back to normal. I remember it happened a few times but doesn't seem to happen any more, thank goodness. :)

  • WOW! that's so inspiring! 17 months is fab!!!! Congrats especially considering you smoked for 40 years too, that's one big habit you kicked! YAY! Glad the support you received here picked you up and cheered you up. This is such a superb site, love it! Love all the tips and the friendliness. Have a super wkend

  • Thanks Bee, yes, this is a brilliant site. Many quitters have come and gone and I hope that the majority of them managed to stay quit. Some pop back on on occassionally and give an update. A few of us "old lags" have chosen to stay on and help out Emjay and try to give our support to all the new quitters. We all seem to have done our quits in our own sweet ways, some with more success than others and all with our own angles on various problems. :)

    You are so on fire with your quit that I am sure you will succeed. You are already a big help and inspiration to others. Keep on keeping on. :)

  • It's really nice that you have stayed on to help others because your experience is gratefully received to those of us that have just stopped. Have a great day : )

  • Yes - great idea try and do something POSITIVE - maybe try a positive post on this site.

    8 weeks is the same as me and my natural state is to be down or feeling sorry for myself but this is changing because we have just got away from a real killer, think of all the damage done by cigarette smoke and the millions it has killed.

    I just feel very fortunate now and want everyone to STOP the HORRIBLE habit.

    Best wishes


  • Loving the positivity Jonathan. We are fortunate! We have stopped our addiction and are rebuilding our lives that we will be able to enjoy with better health, more energy and more money now that we are free from cigarettes : )

  • Well done BeeL - I think because you are being so POSITIVE yourself about giving up the horrible yuck addictive smoking - you are blocking the cravings or at the very least keeping them turned down. Great - go with it and keep on with what you are doing because it is WORKING.

    Best wishes


    NOPE ever ever again

  • Thank you all so much for your inspiring replies. Feeling much better now. Of course it's not easy at times but in truth it does get better with time I just had a bad morning. You are all doing so well especially you BeeL what a good idea I will get my Alan Carr out again he makes brilliant sense ;)

  • Glad you are feeling better Beth Jayne. Every day will get better and one day you won't even think about it, you will just look at a smoker and think "I used to do that". Alan Carr really makes you see smoking for what it is and I've found it so helpful. We smoked to make ourselves feel normal not because it made us feel great and it's fantastic to be free of that addiction. Our minds and emotions are no longer hijacked by smoking apart from the odd craving. It's good to be in control again and our bodies are thankful to us, especially our lungs... there is a lot to feel positive about even if the intense cravings try and pull us down.

  • Bethjayne - Can I just say well done to you. It looks like you have got to 8 weeks without much support and that is amazing. Come on this site when you can because it has lifted my spirits big time. I agree we all feel down sometimes and now no cig to turn to BUT just saying how you are feeling seems to help so much.

    I now think Smoking is about the craziest / maddest thing to do & we are just so fortunate to be FREE from it all.


    Best wishes Jonathan

  • The way I see it is that the cravings are short lived when they do happen and yes I absolutely hate them and I find them incredibly difficult at times but they only happen a few times a day and the rest of the time I feel so great about not smoking. I think to myself why feel like I am missing out or feel angry/upset about stopping something I hated doing anyway? just because sometimes I feel a bit pants at times during a craving. The craving feeling passes soon, I just do exercise or breathing exercises or chat to someone and before I know it I'm not thinking about the craving anymore.

    Until I stopped smoking I did not realise how much smoking controlled me and my life - always thinking about the next cigarette, whether I had enough cigarettes to smoke and my lighter with me, where I would be able to smoke, if I had chewing gum to chew after so I didn't stink of cigarettes, how I would cope on a flight abroad or staying at friend's houses who didn't smoke, how I was going to afford cigarettes when I had so many other things to buy/spend money on, I avoided certain activities because I knew I would feel breathless due to smoking. I did not realise how isolated I had become. The freedom that I have now is beyond compare, the improved health I feel only 5 days in is incredible and I can only imagine that this feeling gets better. I might be wrong because for me its such early days but I hope I'm not! Time will tell though!

    Stay stopped, stay positive. This is one of the best things you can ever do for your health, your loved one and your pocket. You have everything to gain from not smoking peeps : )

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