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finding my way

finding my way

I've been on the healing path from chronic PTSD since 2005 when I suffered a tragic loss from a murder. Since then I also lost my mother, became disabled, went through a series of surgeries on my lumbar-sacral spine, became willing to submit myself to trying ANY medication to relieve my pain as well as cortisone epidurals, lived on narcotics and opioids for over 6 years. During the process of becoming less able bodied, I lost many relationships, including a sibling and a life long friend, lost my job, my health insurance (yes dreadful US) and my favorite car, but I still managed to find a healing path. As I found tools to manage my physical pain, I also found tools to manage anxiety attacks, flashbacks, and the depression that accompanies chronic pain. I began working with an Integrative Medicine practice, took myself off the pain killers, muscle relaxer and antidepressant I had been on for 6+ yrs. I started working with a Rolfing practitioner (who is also a Trauma Recovery Specialist) & began actively working on 'rewiring' my brain's habituated negative & abusive thought patterns. Rolfing has also helped resolve some of my pain and restored a great deal of childhood memory. As I'v built up internal resources I have more and more access to my Authentic Self. There are a myriad of challenging life circumstance, my stepson has been battling cancer for the past 6 years, he's facing THE fight for his life right now; no more surgeries. My Partner was just diagnosed with chronic PTSD as well & my disabled brother in law is living with us, all three on my fixed income & my partner's part time job. I'm learning so much about myself & feel the growth-Daily! I have hope & an enthusiasm for life I've never known before. I hope to continue growing and contributing to the Healing Paths of anyone who happens upon mine.

1 Reply

Hi I can relate to your situation. I have ptsd and am getting past it. I am getting spinal surgery on Monday after a failed microdiscectomy in September. I concentrate and make good decisions whenever my pts d surfaces. Cbt helps the best. Emdr. Was useless . I meditate with music and write down thoughts if I'm stressed. Good luck to you. I'm supposed to start c a new job in about 4 weeks .my recovery May take twice as long but I will have to work regardless of my pain level. Because life never ever stops. Take care.