My boyfriend, Mark, suffers from PTSD and we are in crisis.
He is a 12-yr Navy vet and spent his entire time forward deployed. Amazingly he has never been officially diagnosed. Right after his discharge, his father had him 'committed' to Ward 7 -- the VA psychiatric ward. I know that the VA helped him alot at that time but they also put him on a long list of pharmaceuticals including an experimental narcotic. This is a time of his life that he hasn't spoken much about but I know that it was ugly. Mark eventually turned his back on the VA, found a civilian doctor, and was prescribed medical cannabis. He has been using cannabis daily to control his anxiety for about two years with good results; however, over the past several months he has voiced a desire to stop.
About five weeks ago, Mark reconnected with the VA so he can access his benefits. This, among a few other stressful situations, has triggered his PTSD. He has gradually isolated himself from me, both emotionally and physically. He has told me that he doesn't want me to see him like this. He has also told me that he has nothing to offer me. We had 'unofficially' been living together but he has moved back to his apartment where he feels safe. I see very little of him though I continue to reach out. I text him every day and tell him how much I love him. He's so disconnected, it's frightening, and I can't get close enough to even know what's going on.
I've been trying to educate myself about PTSD and how to be the support that Mark needs. Michele Rosenthal's video about dissociation was a great 'AHA!' experience for me. I was thankful to find her healmyptsd site, as well as this one. But I'm terrified right now as I see Mark continue to spiral down into this abyss. I can't eat or sleep and I'm struggling just trying to get through my daily activities. Intellectually I know I can't support him if I'm floundering but there you have it.
God, this is an insidious disorder.