So I beginning to lose hope. The last few years have been so stressful emotionally.
I had a row with my family and not seen or spoken to them in a year. I sick of the drama and there negative in put. My in laws seem to favour my sister in law. Had the holiday from he'll this year with the inlaws. Overbearing sister in law who the holiday turned in everything she wanted to do. My in laws loved her went a long with what ever she wanted. The longest two weeks of my life. Was made very clear to me they would not of noticed if I was there or not. Stress at work with a bullying manager and backstabbing colleagues. Very lovely and isolating at work. Constantly watching my back and not trusting anyone. Tried my best to keep positive. But now I think what the point. I should give up fighting and thinking can overcome anything and it will get better. But I released everybody seem to disliked, use me and backstabbing me me all my life. I was better being a loner.
I should just accept my fate that things were never meant to work well for me and I should accept the cards I have been dealt. It seems that's I cursed, bad luck or what ever else there is. So I am thirty I don't have a family or trusting friends. I was always alone. But I always be positive, outgoing and friendly. perhaps it me , my personality. Maybe there something wrong with my personality. Maybe it time to give up accept that I never meant to have anything. Stop trying. There only so much trying and picking up self up one can do.
I truly starting to find it difficult to stay positive, motivated.