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Happy Birthday !

You try and keep these things quiet after a certain age? lol

Well I was 55 on tuesday !!! and I've had a lovely few days with my family.

We had cake !! Lots of cake !! A bit of a cake fest !

I have some very rude and cheeky cards !!!! Appalling ! lol

After the wash out on monday we had to change plans and instead of going car racing we went to a local small airfield which is an ex WW1 airfield and looked around the award winning museum and had a drink in the art deco bar which is the old officers mess and bar. Very "Jeeves and Wooster" inside, very trad art deco of the era.

Not copied or fake, but original.

Had a super time catching up with my older brother, his wife and their three boys.

It was absolutely smashing.

Just what I needed.

My son came over to stay for two days and he is doing so well in his life, its a big relief to see him cutting his own path throught the jungle. He gave me the most thoughtftul presents and each one showed a great depth of care and understanding with some humour too. What a good guy !!

His athletics track record is already quite spectacular.

He was 8th fastest at 100m in the UK for the U15's group

and 17th fastest at 200m for the same group.

He broke the Warwickshire track record for 100m U15's for the first time in many years

and he played Rugby for his town for several seasons.

Next month he's off to sports college after winning a place through his own efforts.

It was so great to see him and we ddint want to let him go on monday night.

He suffered badly from the aftermath of my accident and me leaving home, but he is doing so well now.

I am so proud of him !! Love him to bits !!!!!

My gorgeous little lady made it very special too.

Each birthday is a real celebration after all we have been through.

Sadly my daiughter didnt make it over, she decided she is having a break from me in May this year.

She doesnt understand the health issues I suffer with and how difficult my partner and my lives are.

A bit lacking on the empathy side. I have shown here the links for Headway and PTSD sites and pain sites, but she doesnt connect with how it effects me and how I am. Not everyone has empathy and its not something that comes naturally to some. So it was tinged with sadness this weekend, but I hope she will work it out and rejoin our lives. She's a very smart lady and getting on well in her own corporate life.

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Its my birthday on Sunday, I turn 44.

Its 30 years since my father last raped me yet I carry the scars around like a bad smell of a lingering fart.

I have done my utmost to deal with my addictions and my demons and even though I am not wealthy I feel I am a success.

I am happily married, I have 2 gorgeous children, a half descent job. I live in a place I have dreamt of for so long.

I am a happy man.

But the metaphorical stale fart smell still hovers around.

I wont let that stink ruin my life, I'll take a shower and wash my clothes in an attempt to freshen up my world. I wont run from my pain any more, Ill be with it.

With compassion in my life I can face anything.


Hi Hayabusa,

It sounds like you had a great time on your birthday, how quickly the years roll by and how special every birthday becomes after you have suffered a life threatening accident/illness, I have a year on you so I keep my age even quieter.

I can feel in your post how proud you are of your son but saddened by your daughters lack of empathy, I know the feeling, I have a wonderful wife and two great kids, i say kids but my son is 27 and married with a son of his own and my daughter is 23 she brought her first house last year, I'm so proud of them all, the sad thing is my older brother who is my only remaining family member, as my 3 sisters all died of cancer all far to young, unfortunately he has no understanding of the psychological and physical damage my critical illness caused, we've not spoken for over 2 years now but life goes on without him.

All the best for many more happy birthday celebrations.

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