Thank you

Thank you for inviting me. It seems the more my brain heals the more I remember. Hence the worse my PTSD becomes. At the moment I am on emergency by doctor to get help. It starts next week. If tried before but gave up after 2 goes cause it's just to traumatic to talk about now. I also have bi polar. I don't know if this is also triggered or if the PTSD is that bad. Doctor said she has never seen me like this so had a phone call same day from helpers in PTSD. It's so bad the doctor doesn't know what to do. How often do the bad bowts last and how often do they come.

13 Replies

  • Hi Candy8Candy,

    I am glad you found us and welcome to our group.

    It sounds like you are going through the mill? we say.

    Its really tough for you right now, but hang in there and talk to us?

    The human mind and body is remarkably resiliant and it does heal.

    I think everyone on this section has seen some nightmare situations and not just isolated events.

    We are like a bit of a special club you know? Tbh no one else understands unless they have been through similar themselves.

    You don't have to talk about what you have been through and maybe you should'nt.

    But you can talk to us here, because we have been through hell ourselves.

    I have experienced some extremely traumatic events during my lifetime starting at the age of 5 years old.

    I totally empathise with where you are right now and just remember there is always hope and always a brighter day around the corner, trust me on that becasue I have been to the very lowest places.

    Sometimes there are just no answers to the past although we often want to find them.

    For that reason it is very much about you/us/me drawing a line and moving on. That sometimes is all we can do.

    Same as you, some of my experiences I cannot and will not share with other people because the traumatic events are too bad for them to hear. I don't want to share such bad things with other people.

    It makes me feel better, by not sharing. These are my nightmares and not for inflicting on other people who I care more about. These nightmares are mine, I own them.

    So please understand that we can totally connect with your situation without knowing the details.

    Do we ever move on and get on? Yes we do !!!

    But we always remember. We just choose to put it away out of sight and be in the now and find our own happiness and maybe make some happiness for others.

    I just want to send you my love and an XXL hug !!!! Male or female either way.

    So please talk to us and hang around with us? ....................Survivors !

    Welcome to our group,

  • Funny I have survivor tattooed on my arm now. Thank you so much by you comforting words, seems you do understand, someone at last. Massive thanks xx

  • I wouldn't claim to have all of the answers or even any of them, but we all share that invisible survivor "badge", although you have a clear message with your tattoo.

    I like that.

  • Candy8Candy,

    I am where you are right now. I'm glad you came here. You are not alone. I hang onto words by hayabusa and my counselor's and other PTSD survivors. I have severe depression right now, as well. I understand it's like baby steps. You are stronger than you think.

    Post as much as you need:). Hugs.

  • I wish I could do more to reassure people who struggle to find answers.

    Its useful having the empathy to know or to feel where people are and how they feel.

    But here we are and japaholic like me has battled through.

    It's like "warrior mode" ?

    You fight and you fight and you fight and keep on fighting until you come through to the sunshine.

    Because that is they key...... never give up hope. Never lose your faith, because in your state of mind you are not able to see that there might just be something great around the corner. That thing might be someone else, it might be a change in your lifestyle for the positive or that great thing might just be YOU ! ....having found your own way through the fog to that bright mornng sunshine?

    All of us are not just survivors, we are fighters. You have to fight to survive and I know how tough the fight is, from the age of 5.

    I am proud to be a fighter.

    But you have to balance that with love, passion, caring and empathy.

    You cannot have true strength without passion/compassion. Its a fiery combination.

    Look out for the caring people, there aren't that many of us.

  • The mor things go wrong the harder it is to sort out, it's like a piece of string or cotton. If you get one knot in it it's easy to undo, 30 knots and you'll struggle like hell. Can be done though, I'm living proof.

  • Oh god, just what I need, been having really bad pains in my right eye, the damaged side , for a few days now. Not like a migraine that's feels like its in my brain like I used to have but in my eye, weird. Went to optitions tonight and I've got to go see neuro and have a brain scan, another one. No wonder my PTSD so bad it's never ending. My eyeball is bouncing all over it would seem, I just want to cry but I haven't been able to since crash as brain won't connect with tear ducts. I'm so so so angry. I need help. I don't want to see a neuro or him or her. I want it to end. Why the ell couldn't they let me die, I would be asleep and it would all go away. Why am I alive, really for what reason, so others didn't have to cry. Do I really give a s t right now. I just want it to be over. I need help guys, I'm not coping, I just want out, I'm not suisidal I just want this ongoing pain and agro to stop. I want it to leave me alone. If I was a dog or cat I would be put to sleep so how is that fair, how can I just die

  • I just want out. I'm sick of this

  • Hi, each day is a challenge and a new set of problems to deal with.

    Talk to me about pain ;-)

    I've just got an appointment for pain clinic in late October. First time in 7 years, but now it's time to go again.

    Have you got an appointment to see a neurologist? Wise move to get it checked out :-)

    My way of dealing with pain and ptsd and anger is by using distraction methods.

    Engaging my mind in something else that engages my mind. ie: not TV or reading. They do not distract your mind enough or only for a very limited time.

    So I engage in simple practical things at home, like DIY occupational therapy?

    It can just be something like doing housework. It might be a practical project or artwork or simple crafts.

    But to work it has to be something using your hands and your head, thats why tv doesn't work.

    But sometimes my head and body don't work together enough to even do simple things and sometimes I am angry and in great pain. But not too often.

    Those are the days when (jokingly) my partner locks me in the bike shed and feeds me thin pizza under the door.

    Still have the bad days even now.

    But you learn to deal with it.

    This is my life now. I own ir, it's mine. I own my injuries and I own my health issues.

    Took me 10 years to understand.

    As Darwin said? Adapt and survive.

    It's what we do.

  • Thank you I will reply later as my eyes won't work yet. Lined the shed and pizza thing, made me smile, very rare xx

  • Thats good to hear that I made you smile.

    Yeah I still have some very bad days, it goes with the territory. But I am fortunate to have a strong PMA (positive mental attitude). I might be like a large grizzly bear thats been shot in the arm and half starved and wandering alone for a few days, but I get over it fairly quickly.

    Speak to you soon? When you feel able to come and chat again.

  • Before my accident I was very physically active, fit and strong. Years of cycling, martial arts and weight/fitness training.

    Since my accident every day is like an extreme work out where I have to push through the pain barrier every day.

    That's what I'm up against.

    I didn't die in the accident and I'm not giving up now. No way! I fought like a demon to get this far :-)


    It's not just a one off. It's every day and I am proud of still being here every day.

    Each birthday is a real celebration!!!

    It's my birthday in roughly 10 days :-)

    Another one :-)........... And another.......and another.

  • Every one of us is a WINNER!!!

    Be proud of you.

    You survived

    You walked away.

    You fought your way through.

    You are here now today because you made it.

    Be proud of you.

    Love and respect to all of you survivors.

You may also like...