Recently estranged grandma going through hell

My darling little granddaughter was burnt due to me putting a thermos flask of very hot water on her buggy. Waitrose cafe handed me the flask which had the cap screwed on and she put this into a jug and screwed the top on this too. So it was a doubly sealed

unit. Or I thought it was........... I couldn't push the heavy buggy and carry the unit so without thinking I put it on the buggy duvet and started walking towards our table. What happened next will haunt me forever. The baby started to scream like I've never heard anyone scream before. I pulled her out, her little tights were soaking wet, I pulled these off and horror horror horror. My god her inner thigh was so red and burnt. Paramedics came, then A&E, then the burns unit. She needed a skin graft bless her. I kept pleading for news of how she was but I was never told a thing. My daughter has told me I will never see my granddaughter again, I love that baby so much, my daughter has called me an evil woman and told me she hates me so much. It's been 5 months now and I still hear the scream and replay that time over and over in my mind. She told me I'd never see her first tooth or feel her chubby arms around my neck. She said the baby's her whole world ""and you're out of it so bye mum". I've had to relocate. I am needing

Psychiatric help due to feeling as if I'm caught in a time warp. Nothing feels real. I feel I'm on auto-pilot. I live in the past. I wish I was dead but too scared to do anything. The screams go on and on, me pulling the baby out of her buggy and seeing the wet tights I see all that ALL THE TIME .

5 Replies

  • Hi grandma,

    I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. It made me sad.

    It is hard to draw a line when you can't even think about moving on.

    As you say, locked at that moment in time. I know that feeling.

    When is your counselling starting?

    That's a good thing to have booked.

    It's a good start!

    Is it OK for me to send you an XXL hug across the net? You will be ok, trust me on this x

  • Thank you for that x

  • I am not a shy lad and wanted to break the ice and say hello and welcome !

    Projecting myself right where you are from in the few words you said in your first post,

    that was hard and its very brave of you to come and talk openly like that.

    Thats a big step, well done ! Takes courage.

    You can't turn back time, what has gone has gone.

    I hope you will accept that sometime soon with the help of counselling.

    I always say: "wrong time, wrong place" thats how it all happens and it is no ones fault

    and I am not being blaze or patronising in that. You have to know through having had your own experiences.

    I am going to be around here and I am learning too from other people like you.

    You are not alone !!! OK

  • Hi Sarah. What an awful time to be going through and an awful experience for you and your family. It is encouraging to find you talking about it, as that is where the healing starts. One thing you must take on board is that this dreadful episode wasn't your fault. Yes, you were there - but you didn't do anything deliberately, did you. There was a cause and effect situation and no amount of blame and punishment is going to change things. Hopefully, your daughter will find a way to look at this with less anger and retribution. Right now, Sarah, you are the important one and you need to get 'you' right - then, in time, you will be able to handle this better and perhaps mend things with your daughter. Many hurtful things are said in anger and fear - it's the old love and hate syndrome. Glad you can talk about it. Keep talking; and to someone who will guide you to more positive solutions. There is always a better place out there! Wish you happier days.


  • Thank you so much for that. It helped a lot x