My husband won’t stay in his chair. - PSP Association

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My husband won’t stay in his chair.

Moojuice219 profile image
12 Replies

August 1, 2020

My heart is breaking over the quarantine. My husband is in a care center and I still haven’t been with him since March 7th. I can’t manage him at home.

He has been repeatedly trying to get out of the recliner. When he does manage to get out of it he falls to the ground. Does anyone have a suggestion, for me, on what to safely do for him? The care center where he is a resident calls me and asks me to stay on the phone to help him to stay in the chair. Does anyone have any ideas?

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Moojuice219 profile image
Moojuice219
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12 Replies
Heady profile image
Heady

For some reason it’s always the last word they hear, that is remembered, for example, “don’t move” try getting the staff to say “keep still”. NannaB told me this many years ago, it sometimes even worked. Any fall stopped is a major achievement.

My heart goes out to you at this terrible time.

Sending big hug and much love

Lots of love

Anne

Keeping mom in a chair or her bed was challenging to say the least. Search some of the older post for more suggestions. I really think everyone has had to deal with this issue. Sending hugs... Granni B

JantheNana profile image
JantheNana

My heart breaks for you as well. My husband spent the last 6 weeks of his life in a nursing home and I cannot fathom what it would have been like to not be able to visit him!

While he was still at home he would get up from his chair unannounced and head for the bathroom, usually falling,even with a walker. I had to stay in the room with him,or very close by in order to prevent this. I don’t know how the nursing home staff would be able to do this. Does he use a walker?

Moojuice219 profile image
Moojuice219 in reply to JantheNana

Thank you for your response. He is not independent enough to use a walker. He needs total assistance to walk.

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar

Oh, I do feel for you. It's a difficult problem. My guy also would not stay in a chair, at home or when he was in respite care (the wonderful VA facility) and always fell - except on some strange rare occasions when he would get up and walk, astonishing everyone. I would fuss so, because I couldn't stay with him every minute and he wouldn't stay seated or in bed, and he couldn't process the fact that it wasn't safe for him to move on his own. He was hurt so often, and he smashed a lot of furniture - took the door off the fridge and the oven, too, and broke his reclining wheelchair. But when staying in care my guy liked to stand by the nurses' station/reception counter, and the lovely nurses would help him get there. He wasn't able to communicate much, but he was happier seeing people. They always told me they liked having him there. They were so kind.

Zibo profile image
Zibo

I am so sorry to hear that you cannot visit your husband! How painful and distressing this must be for you, and for him )o: My heart goes out to you.

With regard to the walking from the chair, we needed to use the safety belts that came with the chair. Also, we had to put bed's safety bars as my Mum would get up in the night or in the afternoon and fall. This illness is heart wrenching! Sending waves of strength from London

Moojuice219 profile image
Moojuice219 in reply to Zibo

Thank you for your tip on a safety belt.

Kellsbelles profile image
Kellsbelles

My dad is exactly like this! He’s moved to a care home (although he’s in hospital with pneumonia at the moment) and they couldn’t cope with him trying to get up all the time so they have hired bank staff at an additional £13 an hour! On top of the care home fee’s that’s £3000 per week. Whats really awful is that we moved him to a care home as we couldn’t afford the £3500 per week 24/7 emergency care he was having at home (he has a sudden decline a few months ago). It’s so hard. I do know that they make seat pad alarms, so if the person tries to stand up it rings an alarm so carers are made aware.

Baytalon profile image
Baytalon

I am fighting this at home. I have a chair alarm, but he can disable it. Yesterday, he knelt on the love seat while I went to the bathroom...door open...not 10 feet away....and managed to quietly tip it over. I walked out to find his feet in the air, and him supporting himself with his hands. Extricating him was quite the challenge. I do not know what I am going to do.

ConcernedEx profile image
ConcernedEx

Prayers to you for emotional strength. That must be just awful for you. What about getting an old fashion tape recording and record some of your messages for him to hear repeatedly? Just a thought.

SewBears profile image
SewBears

Do you know how often the staff moves your husband? I would want to get out of the chair if I am bored, if I haven’t been outside for awhile, or just for a change of scenery. I’m thinking that he probably needs stimulation of some sort and then he would be content to sit for a longer period of time. Sorry, I don’t really know the circumstances, or how difficult it is for him to be moved, but that’s the first thing that I thought of.

❤️ SewBears

Moojuice219 profile image
Moojuice219 in reply to SewBears

Yes I have talked to them about getting him up. I have no way of knowing if they are. Thank you for the suggestion.

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