I have always enjoyed Christmas especially buying gifts for my nearest and dearest.In happier days I have bought my wife gold,clothes, shoes,handbags,and pets.But now she is in care with not much interest in life and I just don't know what to buy her.Something that she will remember?
Any ideas Guys.
That’s a hard one since “stuff” has so little meaning at this point. A friend of mine would have said think of the senses. Sight, taste, smell, hearing, touch. Her sight, taste and smell might be off. Hearing might work. Music she likes possibly. Touch also but no idea what she would like.
I used to buy my wife's favourite perfume. Very expensive. She seemed to like it and the carers loved putting it on her. Also it helps make the room smell less like a hospital or care/nursing home.
You have got me thinking I might buy some this Christmas just to remind me of her. Might even put on myself. 😃
That’s a really lovely idea Ken, I always love a good perfume & it makes me feel special & helps if I’m feeling a little low.
I did suggest this as a gift before, have photos printed on a blanket , this can then be used as a talking point , to help to get a conversation going about family, and old stories about thier younger days and also thier working life ..most older people love to reminisce. Its what life is all about...I could listen to people for hours, telling about the things they did when they were young.. having said that I'm aproching 80 years my self , so may be my turn will be on the cards sometime soon, belive me I've got afew tales to tell.. and some I'll keep under wraps...Brenda xxx
A lavender scented body lotion could be nice. The staff could put it on her, especially after bathing. It has a nice non-overbearing smell and it's soothing.
Ron
I think the best gifts are spending quality time with the loved ones that are sick. Also, if you can take them out to their favorite restaurants , places or family they like to visit. My mother has PSP and this summer I took her to Italy to spend some time with her brothers and sisters. It was not easy for me to do this but with the help of my husband I was able to do it. As this disease gets worse I don't know if we be able to travel together again.
I always kept Mary furnished with fresh flowers which she seemed to love
Stocks also have a strong scent which disguised some of the more institutional smells. A warm woollen cape was a brilliant gift which was easy to wrap around her despite her stiffness. Lastly the gift of your love and company can never be beaten. Rob
I got Steve a photo album, one of those printed ones with photos of the 2 mini cruises we had done just before he got really ill. We looked at it together on Christmas Day. He died the next day but I still enjoy looking at the album and feel happy that he enjoyed it. I am not sure how much he saw but I was able to hold it up and talk about the happy memories with him.
It’s so hard isn’t it.
Love Sarahxxx
Things which I have found work for Mum are:
room scenter
scented toiletries - Mum loves Sanctuary
make up & perfume - she feels more like herself with a bit of lippy on
flowers - narcissi are so pretty & sweetly scented, you can get them through the post from the Scilly Isles now until late spring
muff - if you go out at all, much easier than gloves & somewhere to put tissues as well, hang on ribbon round neck will never get lost
ponchos & wraps - easier to get on & off than cardies & coats
and hugs, you can never give someone too many hugs. xxx
Mom liked lavender lotion... especially when l rubbed her feet with it.
I always liked the idea of a bulletin board filled with family photos... especially with pictures of our loved ones when they were younger. I think it also helps visitors & Staff to find some talking points (not just how are we today sweetie?)
Hugs are the best gift... you can never get too many Hugs. Sending hugs... Granni B
The first Christmas my husband was in a care home, I made him a story board of his life. There were three parts. I labeled one Home--photos of home, construction when building it, the lake and other scenery near our home. Another was labeled Family--photos of his parents, our children and grandchildren. The third was labeled Fun--photos from our boating, hobbies, travels, etc.
This enabled his carers and hospice visitors to know him and gave them things to talk with him about when they visited. It provided many hours of pleasure for him.
Pat
This is a wonderful idea, Pat.
Hi. Our family bought a cuhion with photos of the family on it which Nigel loved. xx
Here's what we did recently but kind of the reverse of what you are asking: Sandy asked me what I wanted for my birthday a couple of months ago. We really haven't exchanged gifts much the last few years because we pretty much have everything we need and have had so many expenses that it didn't make sense to buy more things.
I knew it would make him feel good to give me something nice and I also know that this could be the last gift I receive from him so I told him I would like a necklace. We went to a local jewelry store -it was like a real date, something we would have done years ago. We ended up having a necklace designed using some stones I already had. A few small diamonds from my original wedding ring that he gave me, his mother's diamond, etc. It is lovely and meaningful in so many ways.
This may be over the top from what you are thinking but the experience meant a lot to both of us. Watching me work to take care of everything, including him, is very hard on him, as it is on all our spouses. He comments on this necklace frequently and is so pleased that we had this done.
If you were to give her something like this, is there someone in your family who would appreciate it later on? It may not be practical to have in a care home and perhaps she already has lots of jewelry.
Pat had another fantastic idea. The memory board of her husband's life with photos. I'm betting that would be the nicest thing you could do for her.
We just discussed what we are going to do for Christmas this year. We'll be writing each other a poem. And we'll try to get out into our local small town for coffee or lunch, hopefully attend a Christmas musical at a local church, and then attend services at our own church. This is a tall order considering how difficult it is to go out but we'll give it our best.
He isn't able to write now so I imagine he'll dictate and I will type his poem to me.
Merry Christmas! Enjoy it.
All lovely ideas! Just beautiful!
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