Right decision

[eurolynch]

I have used this site for advice but perhaps I'm not known. I have contemplated having my Mum home with me for many months. Split opinions but I decided it was what I needed to do. I have taken the plunge and 5 weeks in Iknow it was the right decision.I have rented a bungalow whilst keeping my own home. I have care in place from SS and I work too. Family also help. Nothing will ever be easy but the relief I now feel that I am doing my Mum proud is something I cant explain. I am really lucky with the support and financially its possible. I am elated I can do this. Mum is immobile and incoherent but her wonderful smile greets me each morning. I wont fib I get impatient when the tired tears come daily for no apparent reason but this is me and My Mum. Just where we need to be xx We are going to PSPA friends and family day in Newport on 28th Sept.....anybody else going? Xx

[honjen43]

So pleased for you! That is a big commitment, renting a home for your mum, and makes your mum's care so much more in your control. Making that commitment will help you so much in the future. Yes, it will be hard work and tears will flow, but that smile is worth all of that!

Look at bazooka's posts of her mum. They speak more than words can too!

I went back home to help my dad when he had a 'stroke', shortly afterwards diagnosed as a brain tumor. It was hard to put all other family commitments to one side, but I feel now I would not have changed a thing. It was a brief 3 month commitment for me and life went back to normal fairly easily afterwards. However, in my grief I was helped by the knowledge that I made the right decision at the time when dad really needed me, and that family life was able to play catch up afterwards.

Make your mum happy! Hope all goes well.

Hugs

Jen xxx

[NannaB]

Well done for doing what you feel is right for you and your mum. It’s so good you were able to rent a suitable home. You are correct in saying nothing will ever be easy but with the help you can trust, hopefully you will be able to keep her at home. I promised my husband I would, as long as I was physically and mentally able to care for him as he deserved to be cared for and thankfully he was here until the end.

I hope with help and rest you can do the same.

Best wishes

XxxX

[dollydott]

Good luck and much love to you and your mum eurolynch.

I remember well your posts but never answered you as i didnt want to influence you either way. The decision had to be yours. I brought my mum home to live with me and wouldn't have had it any other way even though the journey was at times difficult and lonely . She brought me joy with her smile so i can understand that is worth ots weight in gold. Please remember to look after you now also its good to see you have great support its important.

I wish you lots of days filled with joy

Love Lynda 💜

[eurolynch]

These speedy posts have made me cry and even more so my decision is right. Thank you all xx

[eurolynch]

BTW......I have a wheelchair accessible vehicle arriving in 2 weeks.....so happy xx

[Skye04 in reply to eurolynch]

May I ask about your vehicle...did you 'rent' one or buy? My sister has CBD and is in a long term care facility ... Any time her husband wants to take her anywhere they have to rent a wheelchair taxi which is expensive...plus I would be able to take her out places more frequently...Thanks for any advice...You are doing a wonderful thing for your mom you should be proud of yourself!!

[eurolynch in reply to Skye04]

Are you in the UK? Xx

[enjoysalud]

I am happy for you.............

Los Angeles, CA, USA

[Dadshelper]

I am very glad your decision is working out. There is no right or wrong answer when deciding on in home or nursing home, it boils down to resources available to keep the person comfortable and safe.

Ron

[Tippyleaf]

Well done. Gut instinct is powerful and often directs us to our best decisions. Hope you can make new memories together but also get the help and support you will both need.

Love Tippy

[Katiebow]

You have to follow your instincts. Your Mum is very lucky to have daughter willing to commit to the challenges that lay ahead and be in a place where family and friends can take care of her, I'm sure you won't ever regret that decision.

Kate xx

[Hidden]

Well done you!

Our only regret is that we couldn't keep my brother in his home.

I wish you well.

Big hugs

Sue x

[AJK2001]

I agree you know when it's the right decision. Even if things change & you have to make different arrangements in the future, you will never regret the time you have now. No arrangement is perfect but I feel that Mum gets much better care being at home (6 hours one to one care with carers & my afternoon visits, plus overnight stays when required) than in a home. There is little she can do but at least she can decide if she wants to watch tv and what she wants to eat and she has some great carers who get a smile from her and that smile is worth the world. I hope things continue to work well for you and know you will treasure this special time.

[doglington]

Well done for following your instincts. It is not easy but you will always know you did your very best.

I was able to keep my husband at home until he died. It is not always possible as the progress varies. I hope you will be successful. You are making memories.

Love Jean xx

[Willow_rob]

Well done you. I made the decision a long time ago and apart from needing respite both physically and emotionally it was the best thing I have ever done. Remember though that a condition of this disease is that your Mum's character may change. Just remember it is the disease causing this change and not that you are failing in your care. Do not be afraid to take time out for yourself. The best of luck. Rob

[Brenive]

There's no place like home. I wouldn't have it any other way, with help from carers and my daughter's we have managed to keep lvor at home. Even though I have had to have a hysterectomy a few weeks ago, it's been along three months. From the middle of september I can drive the car again. And to answer your last question we hope to be at Newport on the 28th. ., so we may meet .....Brenda xxx

[Tunupup]

Good for you xx

[bazooka111]

Best decision ever (for me as well) ... you will live life with the peace knowing you’ve done your very best to honor your Mother. You will reap the blessings of honoring her — one day at a time. Breathe and take care of yourself as well.