Happy delusions

[tlovins]

I am struggling with this one. While understanding what dad is saying is difficult, every visit with him involves questions or comments about relevant events and happenings but then at some point in the visit he will throw in something off the wall. It usually has to do with his days as a truck driver or when he was a young farm boy. Those are happy memories for him so I sort of look at it as if he is in his happy place. When he asks me to call his boss and tell him he has his load of cattle sitting outback I nod and tell him I’ll take care of it. Am I wrong for not reminding him that he is retired and doesn’t drive truck anymore? I just can’t see the point in reminding him of his cruel reality.

[Yvonneandgeorge]

No I don’t think you are wrong, I would do the same as you. Big hug coming your way. Yvonne xxxxx

[Marie_14]

I agree with you. Let him have his happy time. Not much else to be happy about bless him?

Marie x

[raincitygirl]

Dear Tante;

I agree with Yvonne and Marie. Let him bask in good memories. Maybe that sends the "happy hormones" flowing in his brain. How could that be harmful? How does being corrected and being temporally (?) accurate improve his health or his situation? If there was confusion and distress following such conversations, you could rethink that - but if no problem occurs, let him enjoy his history; he earned it!!

Anne G.

[Mikey12345]

I totally agree with the above postings. My husband does the same, reverts to past responsibilities and wants to take charge. Most times I can go along with it. That being said, when he thought he was President Abraham Lincoln and abolishing slavery, it was tough for me to respond. I say let him have his own reality as long as it's safe for everyone.

Hugs,

Liz

[Hidden]

I think it's wonderful, he's happy in turn your happy . I can't imagine anyone telling you otherwise. As long as he does not harm ,what's the problem. Enjoy Dad passed and present.

Dee

[Martha_k_uk]

I totally agree. You aren't wrong to just go along with it, if it gives him a little happiness and peace then why change that.

My dad woildndonsimilar things, we argued over his age. He determined he was in his 90s when in fact he was 79, but other than for official purposes we just agreed with him...it serves no purpose other than to agittate him if we disagreed and corrected him.

Please give your dad an extra hug when you see him - I know is give anything to do that with mine right now x

[tlovins in reply to Martha_k_uk]

Hugs to you! I am cherishing every minute I have with him.

[doglington]

Absolutely agree. Only time I brought reality in was when he was ready to get up and do something like go to work [ he'd been retired for years. x

[tlovins in reply to doglington]

I did worry about that a little too. He is pretty immobile so he wouldn’t get far but an attempt may land him on the ground.

[doglington in reply to tlovins]

Yes. That happened with Chris. He was mostly immobile but then would suddenly surprise us and got up and put his coat on. True, he wouldn't have got far, but a fall was certain.

xx

[Hidden]

Humor him. If he has the idea in his head he isn’t going to let go of it.

[tlovins in reply to Hidden]

Very true, partly why I stopped trying to correct him. He wouldn’t let it go unless I went with the story and agreed to take care of the various things.

[Satt2015]

I wouldn’t remind him, let him live in the world he is in, that’s what I do with my dad!

A trifle scary to listen too, but I’d just go with it!

Huge hugs x

[Greens]

Agree with all comments Mum is the same each week she seems to regress further back . Last week she thought my niece n nephew were little again and she had to take them to school like others I suggested I pick them up or my sister had each week presents different stories. The ones where she is convinced she has done something with dad are most upsetting as he passed away 3 years ago. Keep smiling and go with the story its better when we were trying to correct Mum she got agitated x x

[Brenive]

Ivor likes to reminisce he sometimes tells the girls about our lives over the past years, we have recorded some of them , we will have a record o years gone by.

[tlovins in reply to Brenive]

What a wonderful record to have. Great idea!

[Beads0122]

I’m with everyone else here. Let him have his good thoughts and memories. I just got to that same point over the last few weeks with my wife. The difficulty is when my wife says that she needs to go do something and gets agitated that we are not leaving. (like see the doctor and cant tell me which doctor). She also cry’s a lot, but after probing it appears that many of these are happy tears.

We need to make them as happy and comfortable as possible.

Bobby