Guilt is something we all sufffer! I remember a while ago, Heady, writing a post, that we shouldn’t, but it’s so dam hard not to feel pure and absolute guilt!
I feel so bloody guilty that my darling Dad is in a nursing home! I know 110% that, of course, no question, he’d rather be at home, so would Mum and I! But because of the complexity he can’t be 😥
The complexity includes sleepness nights, pad changes in between carer visits, feeding, medications, confusion (because it’s bloody hard to continually deal with), the list goes on and on!
The guilt consumes mum and I, day and night, you go to sleep, Dad last thing on our mind, I have awful dreams when I sleep and then when you wake up, how is Dad?
I keep hearing that song ‘dance with my father again’ by Luther Vandross, heartbreaking (and one of my Dads favourite songs) I heard it the other day whilst driving to work, tears running down my face!
Guilt consumes me, can’t help it, I wish my Dad was home with us, but it can’t/won’t happen x