Ok I think I've realised this isn't going to work 😓
I can't tell you how I feel cos it hurts so f****** much!!
If even for respite I think putting my Dad in a home may just finish me off.....
My Dad is MY DAD and you know what he is very very sweet, kind and oh so loving! He's very very scared about my dear Mum and obviously not be able to see her and protect her is something he is finding incredibly difficult if not impossible to comprehend?!
If I send him off somewhere no one will cherish as we do!! I know that, I'm not stupid! I know he'll decline very quickly and the outcome will be death! Equally I know that's the future anyway! I know he won't be fed properly, cleaned properly, no doubt often be left in a dirty pad, I know no one will sit and talk to him and love him! I know no one will switch the tv over for him. I know no one will come straight away when he is coughing up flem. I JUST KNOW NO ONE WILL CARE AS WE DO! And I'm f****** scared of that!
Unfortunately the hospice can't take him, if they could I would not be scared or concerned or worried as hell!!
I also know that mum isn't out of the woods and the recovery will be LONG!! But what I do know is this, with good care from ME she will recover and could have another 10 to 20 years! My mum is easy to look after! And I want to enjoy that with her! I also fully understand my Dad is coming to the end of life!
Help me please!!