My Mum's in hospital!!!!

Dear All

I've not had time yet to read/reply to other posts

I called 999 at 9am this morning and my Dear Mum is in hospital with a blood infection and possible bowel blockage which get this, may need to be operated on!!

I actually don't know how much more I can take....I'm absolutely f*****!!

So in desperation I've organised a Marie Curie nurse to come in tonight and watch Dad whilst I go upstairs and attempt to sleep!

Carer here all day tomorrow (at our expense) don't care bout that! I will then too and fro to hospital and home

My darling Dad is beside himself, he cannot understand what's happened to Mum as it seemed so sudden

God knows what the future holds? I'm at breaking point! X

43 Replies

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  • Oh no Amanda, I really feel for you, just when you think things couldn't be worse and then wham bam they hit you and knock you down!

    I'm thinking of you tonight and hope you manage to get some well deserved sleep!

    Hope your dear Mum is ok bless her....

    Love and lots of hugs....Pat xx

  • Thank you darling Pat! I'm literally beside myself, feel like I'm gonna have a breakdown! Hated and I mean hated leaving my Mum! Our house looks like a tip but I'm toooo exhausted to sort it! At least Dads carer did all the washing, love her! Dads not happy I've organised Marie Curie but seriously what choice have I got?! I've slept down here for 2 nights, without much sleep! Looking after 2 parents is way too much for one person! So the housework can sod off! How are you darling? X

  • Oh Amanda I wished we lived near each other, we could help each other. I hope your mum is ok, what a shock for you, can your brother not help out, I am sure you said you had a brother? I can feel how tired you are, hope you get a good night sleep and things should look different in the morning. Big hugs Yvonne xxxxx

  • Thx you darling Yvonne! My brother came here today to be with dad with our lovely carer too! Hospice team came in too! Sister coming tomorrow for few hours. I agree I'm desperate for my bed and sleep!! X

  • I do hope you have has some sleeping! What a lot you got organized in the emergency. I'm really impressed, but concerned for all of you. I hope your mother recovers quckly!

  • Bless you EC! I'm very bloody concerned myself! I managed 3 hours sleep, something I suppose! I should sleep better tonight with my sister here! X

  • I'm slowly getting there Amanda, some fairly good days but then loads of bad ones! I think it's finally hitting me that I won't ever have Keith by my side any more and I have look after myself now, the numbness is fading and reality has shown its ugly head! I hate being without him and I know I couldn't have changed things for him and make him well again as much as I desperately wanted to. The only things that keep me from going under are my lovely supportive family and friends, this forum and the fact that Keith is no longer suffering with this hateful disease!

    Please look after yourself Amanda, like someone else has said you are a truly devoted carer to your Mum and your Dad, they are incredibly lucky to have you as their daughter.

    Please take care....Pat xx

  • Bless you Pat, I'll will actually remember exactly what you've said about how you feel when our time comes because I truly take comfort in the fact that Keith isn't suffering anymore and I want the very same for Dad! Psp is beyond hateful and is literally f****** all our lives right up, mainly the patient but then again the sheer and utter devastation it causes the family is simply wrong!

    I'm sitting here crying my eyes out as the terror I currently find myself in! I try to be strong but I'm still tired, only managed about 3 hours sleep! The Marie Curie nurse was lovely and my Dad slept soundly! But I just have an awful dreading feeling about my Mum and it's somewhat too dam much for even the strongest of characters to take!

    I'll keep you all posted later today

    Big big hugs Pat x ❤

  • Hugs to you, Pat.

  • I'm thinking of you, Amanda. This is awful news, and I'm so sorry for you all. Hang on. It's so often the carers whose health gives way. Best wishes for a speedy recovery for your dear Mum. Hugs, love and peace, Ec

  • Thx you EC! Your kind words are very much appreciated x

  • Hi Satt

    I hope you are off sleeping now.

    It sounds damned tough right now.

    But hey, you are quick on the organising - Well done!

    We're both thinking of you, your Dad and your Mum.

    That's not much I know.

    We hope your Mum will be OK.

    Love

    Kevin and Liz

    XXX

  • Hi Kevin and Liz

    Thank you darlings! I can't go to sleep until the nurse gets here at 10pm, oh boy I can't wait! Starting to feel sick myself now! X

  • Sorry to hear about your mum , I hope things look brighter in the morning . Hope you have some rest tonight, will be thinking about you , will watch for your posts when your able to find the time.love Brenda..xx

  • Thx you Brenda, I'll keep you all posted! Bring on bedtime x

  • I know you are going to shout at me, but this might be a case where your Dad has to go into respite for a few days. Just until your Mum is better. Amanda, something will give if you are not careful and the last thing you want is for you to crash, who will be able to care then???

    Really hope Mum gets better very soon. Try and get as much help as possible.

    Sending big hug and much love

    Lots of love

    Anne

  • lol I'd never ever shout at you Anne!!

    And I know and appreciate what your saying but you know me I'll do my best not to let that happen!

    However all depending what happens with Mum I fear you may be right?!!! (You normally are)!!! Your advice Anne has always been advice I treasure with all my heart so I promise I'm listening and listening hard!!

    I'll just have to see what happens

    Thank you Anne x

  • Respite is grand. Since one of the aides is off on vacation next week and I couldn't find a replacement, I had to ask for another week at the VA hospice unit, sooner than I would have liked, but I am looking forward to the rest. Last time I had a family crisis, so no rest. Fingers crossed for this time.

  • Fingers crossed EC!! X

  • Sleep deprivation is a killer! and it makes me so stupid!

  • Makes me proper crazy EC! X

  • Actually my husband got worse when I got sick and he had to witnessed it....Maybe a respite home or whatever you call it might be a good idea.....not seeing his wife in his house may be more stressfull than being at a hospital/respite home!

  • Oh I am so sorry darling...you are at a breaking point and yet you will endure! Can you believe you have gotten this far? You can keep going....I believe in you....get some rest and I will pray that the Lord sends healing and comfort to your household....

    AVB

  • Thx you AVB!! Much appreciated x

  • I agree with Anne. It may make sense to have your dad safe whilst you focus on mum. You really must care for yourself - sleep and eat. Sod the housework.

    Its too much I know but it is happening !!!

    Lots of love and a big hug from Jean xxx

  • I know Jean I know 😓

    Hugs back my darling x

  • I agree with Heady, if you can get some respite for your dad now, hopefully you can sleep at night, it's hard work doing hospital visits, and you'll need all your energy to cope with 2 sick parents when your mum comes home, and they'll need you to be there for them. And if your not an only child get your siblings to do their share

    Thinking of you and sending a hug

    Debbie xxx

  • Thanks Debbie, I totally get what your saying

    How are you? X

  • What awful luck Amanda. I am so upset for you as you have done more than your best. Your poor Mum must be worried about your Dad and vice versa? As for you well your priority is to get more help. Maybe that's respite as Anne said or maybe it's extra care. You can't do more than you are already doing. I know you think you are superwoman but you are not! You are human Amanda. Keep repeating that over and over!

    Lots of love to you and your patients.

    Marie x

  • Wow Marie that has really hit home! Thank you, I know you're right! My sister is coming today n staying over and our darling carer has cancelled her day off and will be from 8am til 6pm so that's all gonna give me some time to decide what to do I'm hoping.....

    Must get ready now for my day ahead whilst remembering I'm only human!

    Hugs x

  • Amanda

    I really hope your Mum's CT result is a good one. Life is so hard at times? You have been a gem but if you get ill they are both in trouble as indeed are you?

    It is not easy to agree to respite. It really upset me but guess what? My husband enjoyed himself! After the initial worry that he was going there forever. Sadly he then did end up having to go there again for the last few months of his life. I really thought he could come home until I broke down and realised I couldn't care for him the way he needed. He had gone downhill very quickly. Had the CHC not dragged their feet then maybe we could have managed? So I know exactly how you feel about them Amanda!

    I am thinking of your dear Mum at present as your Dad has at least got someone to take care if him today? So much love to you. You and your parents don't deserve this. Thank goodness for your carer too she is another gem! Not many of them about. I am glad your sister is able to help today too. Take care of yourself Amanda. You are human...remember?

    Marie x

  • Thank you Marie!! I'm at the hospital with mum now awaiting ct scan....x

  • Oh no Amanda this sounds an awful situation. Please look after yourself and sleep when you can. Perhaps you and your sister and brother can sit down and devise a plan so that you can share the responsibilities (and the worry). Hopefully your Mum will make a good recovery but it is obviously going to take a while so this might be the time to rethink how you are all going to manage in the future. The hospice may be the best people to help you with that as their priority is the welfare of the family and not budgets and red tape.

    Do hope you have a better day today and your poor mum makes good progress.

    Love Vicki x

  • Aww thank you Vikki

    I'm gonna call the hospice at 10am

    Very difficult for my brother and sister as they have family and loads going on! My sister is awaiting a hysterectomy herself!! They live about an hour away. My sister is coming today!

    Definitely without question the care is gonna have to be re thought! Oh god help me! Actually help us all please!! X

  • Sad to hear but nobody can avoid. Take care. Lots prayer for her.

  • Thx you x

  • Oh nooo Amanda!! I can't believe it! Well done for organising Marie cutie for your Dad.... but what a bloody nightmare and your poor mum! Youre right it doesn't matter about state of house just get through this and friends and family will rally round . I wish I lived by you I would certainly help out ! First thing is to try and get some sleep ... somehow you can deal with things better with some sleep

    I hope things improve with your mum I'll be thinking of you sweetheart . Keep us posted

    Love and light to you Amanda

    Jude xxx .

  • Don't you love that auto correct? "Organizing a Marie cutie" for Dad doesn't sound like something Mum would approve of!

    (I hope you don't mind the joke, Jude, your sweet caring comes through perfectly.)

    Love, ec

  • Aww thank you Jude!

    Such kind thoughts

    When I know more I'll update

    Mum is having ct scan at 3.30, we are desperate for the results x

  • Aww I think that will make Amanda smile a little !! Auto correct at its best there!!

    Love and regards to you Ec x xx

  • Lol a Marie cutie how funny! X

  • Listen to the advice given, it is given in good faith because you are cared about. Sending hugs and prayers for you all. X

  • Thx you Robbo x

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