Psp: Hi everyone hope your all aswell as can... - PSP Association

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Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12
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Hi everyone hope your all aswell as can be, I have a question I'm just wanting some advice with... lately my brother has been staying with my Mam on a night just to help out, and over the last couple of weeks he has been really upset saying Mam has been waking up during the night and accusing him of pinching money.. He is 28 years old and is getting really upset by this, as am I.. I know that nothing has been took as I look after all mams money. I really had a go at her today and shouted at her, and that also made me feel like shit! Has anyone else had anything like this? She has had psp for 6 years, there has been no change to medication over the last couple of years, is this just another shit side to this illness? 😩

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Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12
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Satt2015 profile image
Satt2015

Unfortunately Maxine I'd say it's just another s****y Psp moment. Difficult isn't it? X

Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12 in reply to Satt2015

Very :( xx

Kevin_1 profile image
Kevin_1

Hi Maxine12

It sounds horrid. My experience is that as the brain deteriorates the ability to reason and to an increasing degree the memory of the explantion you give to them deteriorates.

So it is fairly typical for someone with PSP not to be able to change their beliefs just because you explain it to them. They get fixed and can't reason properly.

Its very frustrating for the carers.

The good news is that eventually this behavior or belief will fall by the wayside in time.

It's all a bit grim I'm afraid.

(Note to self - Read your own post and stop loosing the plot too.).

Its hard

Best

Kevin

Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12 in reply to Kevin_1

Thank you Kevin, if you ever find that psp manual could you pass it on please πŸ˜‰X

Kevin_1 profile image
Kevin_1 in reply to Maxine12

Chuckles - I wish!

Sophiejo profile image
Sophiejo

It seems it's all part of PSP my mum has told me today that she doesn't think that I love her - I told her off and said how much she hurt me by saying this and she did take it back but it still hurts .

Sending hugs xxx

Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12 in reply to Sophiejo

Aww Sophie it's so heartbreaking, I go through different emotions every day, it's totally shit 😞 Sending hugs back to you xxx

Amilazy profile image
Amilazy

It must be very distressing for both you and your brother but It is one of the issues with PSP (changes in behaviour and cognition) you have to hang in there and try to reason with them if possible. In many ways I wish my wife could talk or make comments PSP robbed her of her verbal communication fairly early (4th year in) before she had chance to become obstreperous.

All I can say is use this site as a kicking post if her false claims get too much. Tim

Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12 in reply to Amilazy

Sooooo distressing!!! But Tim there will probs come a time when I will wish I could hear my Mam say something to me, even if it's not nice 😞

Thank you for that xx

abirke profile image
abirke in reply to Amilazy

"Obstreperous" now there's a word I had to look up! I'm sorry that your wife became the big O......B has yet to be consistently cranky but ignoring my feelings would be about as close....."I just accidentally cut my finger off"...Bruces response..."oh, where's the tv clicker" ....true story of sorts....

PSP suck; it extracts the personality....

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar

I hope you can convince your brother to let it slide off. He shouldn't take it personally, although that is much easier to say than do, of course. Transient dementia and obsessive behaviors are very common, but for most patients the episodes ARE transient. The trick may be to go with it to the extent you can (Did you lose some money? Can I help you look for it?) or just to get yourself away until she tires out, if you can. I have found arguing does NOT change anything. Sometimes the only thing that helps is time. Hang in there. Peace, Easterncedar

Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12 in reply to easterncedar

I think he just feels like Mam has it in for him at the moment 😞 I will share that advice with him, thank you very helpful xx

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar in reply to Maxine12

It IS awfully hard to recognize that hurtful words are simply not meant, and when they come from a loved one, they go straight to the heart no matter what your mind may tell you. Love and peace to you and your brother. Hang on! Ec

Heady profile image
Heady

I agree with EC. It is a dementia issue. No point is arguing. If you can't ignore it, ask her how much she has lost and start looking for it. Have some money to hand, "to find". My daughter, when young, worked in a care home. Every night, she would herd this woman's pigs into their sty, before she would go to sleep. A great game for a young 16 year old, but she realised it was very real to this woman.

I do feel sorry for your brother though, unfortunately, it will pass if she loses her ability to talk.

Lots of love

Heady

Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12 in reply to Heady

Thank you heady I am going to pass this advice on xx

PUTLAND profile image
PUTLAND

I am afraid Maxine just another part of the horrible disease. My husband went through a stage of searching my bag standing beside me when I answered the phone didnt trust me at all, they go through different stages. Feel sorry for you and your brother as you are trying to take care of your Mam and doing your best. xxxx

Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12 in reply to PUTLAND

Bloody illness as if we aren't going through enough changes, just don't want us remembering Mam for these things, thank you xx

It is probably a phase in the passage of the progression of the disease. My father did, for a period think that I was poisoning him. I was SO upset. It was just. A phase and I feel that this may be something similar. Perhaps, for your brother who is only 28 it is so difficult to understand that dementia takes or rather is shown in many different forms. It is rather hard for carers to cope sometimes and to understand what is going on. All the best.

Maxine12 profile image
Maxine12 in reply to

Yeh it sure is hard to understand and not get upset or angry 😞 But all your comments help, thank you xx

PDDJED profile image
PDDJED

My dad has PSP and suffered major character changes where he was quite rude and unkind to people he loves around him, including my mother. I think quite a lot of dementia gets thrown into the mix for some PSP sufferers.

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