Really annoyed & upset.

I need to let off steam I'm afraid.

We've had some issues with the care agency and getting no where consistently trying to sort it out. My messages were ignored and last straw was key being lost last week. I saw red and emailed the Directors as manager was ignoring me.

I had a call late afternoon from social worker saying they have given notice and will end on Sunday. They didn't even have the decency to tell me in person but was told I'd have a reply to my concerns. I am angry and upset as this will really cause Mum distress and God knows who we will end up with with just 5 days to find a company. I now feel awful for speaking out as I've just caused more anxiety for Mum and in turn will make it harder to cope with for myself.

I'm trying not to show her how worried I am but all I want to do is sob.

An agency the Admiral nurse told me to try to get charge a fortune and social have already said no to them.

Demand is so high for care at home no one has capacity. Social worker was like I can't do anything today as so late in day and calling me tomorrow.

No sleep here tonight . . .

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

55 Replies

  • Aww spiral darling what a nightmare!!

    I can only hope a new agency can be appointed v v quickly!!

    In the meantime I'm going to suggest you contact mums hospice tomorrow for some advice

    I'm going to sleep now and I'm hoping you manage to get some! Your gonna need to be wide awake tomorrow to fight this!!

    Huge hugs x

  • Good idea on hospice. Depends who answers the phone there if they are helpful or not as one woman hasn't been in past when I've rang.

    Sleep well x

  • I would of done the same myself, how can they loose the key, that is very worrying, maybe you should get the lock changed? Why did they give notice? Surly they should be concerned that the careers have lost the key, you have a right to be concerned, the career company are out of order, they should of been apologies to you, they are the opens that are wrong to do this. Good luck tomorrow. Yvonne xxxx

  • Yes had lock changed. I haven't been given a reason why they gave notice but they obviously did not agree with all my concerns, not just the key incident. There have been a few months if trying to get things smoothed out.

    Re the key the police even don't believe them that it was stolen and told me to ask for a full investigation into it.

  • Try them today and do keep us posted, good luck and another big hug x

  • I feel your pain and frustration. You know what you did is because you care so much about your mother. I have been without care for a few days myself after our last fiasco. Today I had a very nice lady. The agency we had has been very supportive up till now. I am waiting for the other Shoe to drop. They do not like anything that reflects badly on them. It will work out for both us. Prayers for you and your mom.

  • That is wonderful you have come across a lovely lady.

    What had happened for you to be without care? If you want to say.

    We've had previous bad experiences with agencies before this one so why I at present cannot see a happy result but got to try to remain positive will work out for the best. Xx

  • Hi,

    I know how you feel. Dammed if you do and dammed if you don't! I'll just pray that something comes up fast and that it will be much better than the last one. Wishing you all the best.

  • Thank you x

  • Sorry for your problems.Could you get direct funding?I never got to that stage but was trying,I thought it would give me more say in agencies (just a thought) Pxx

  • Yes we have direct payments now but no one has capacity they say. Will be interesting few days I think . . .

  • Hi awful situation make a few phone calls to agencies find out yourself then go back to social services speak to team leader and just use words like safeguarding and risk! Inform the quality care commission, they will do an unannounced visit to the agency, my god this illness would test a saint! I promise you calm will prevail !

    Julie xx

  • There is no one at all who had capacity to take Mums care package on. Social worker has rang all agencies on their framework list and off it. We are in a right mess good and proper. Help!

  • I would call her bluff and say then emergency respite has to be arranged , there will be beds allocated for respite , or she can use more than one agency to cover different times. If you are on your local hospice books they can often fill gaps with hospice at home or volunteers to sit, Rog has Bob for two hours every week. This is the nightmare we have to sort out all the time as well as caring. I say to professionals all the time looking after Rog actually is hard but managable , it is the system letting us down all the time and that is both in health and social care.

    Never in all my forty years of nursing did I think that people who are so ill could be treated this way, but it is true.

    Must stop ranting, not good for anyone!

    Hope these suggestions help

    Julie X Rog still snoring thank goodness! Today I spend the day with my little Harry , Gary in looking after his nibs!

  • The social worker is actually nice and I know she is doing her best to sort it out. I called the hospice yesterday and unfortunately they weren't any help at all.

  • No sleep here either as the new leader of our country may not know who the people he is talking to or how they rate on his ego scale. I am an educated white woman....the epitome of one who does not vote for Trump. and yet here he is neck and neck with a woman who all her life wanted to be president. He didn't want to be president, he just wanted to run for one to do all the things you do when you run for one and say all the inane things that his ego and narcissistic ways propelled him...nothing to do with your mum sorry

    I do hope you find a wofker that will do well by her and calm hers and your nerves.

    AVB, [potential loser]

  • Yes just seen he is in course to win. Scary times.

  • Hi AVB, I am been scrared by politicians before, but this news, as I type, has to be the scariest. That ######### president? God help us all. Let's hope Hiliary finds some votes very quickly.

    Lots of love


  • I have been lying awake all night, utterly sick at heart. I can't believe it. We are about to lose everything we have gained over the last eight years and more. God, the Supreme Court.

  • Can't believe it. The worlds gone mad !

  • A catastrophe for the planet.

  • You are so right. How intelligent people could vote for him I don't know. How any woman could vote for himI I don't know. Yet although most voted Democratic 42% voted for Trump! I can see lots of kids making fun of his name here! To Trump is to fart!

  • hahahah I know name has something to do with a card game to trump someone I believe is to stop them through having more powerful cards... It also means to decietfully convince others.....that would be about right. The fart one is new to me but he indeed will be layinbg down a bunch of hot air here in america....remember to pray daily for gods guidance

    You from the US?

  • AVB. No I live in the UK. I sat up until 2.30am to see the results and then went to bed! My heart was sinking by then. It turned out my worst fears were confirmed! Sorry for those who supported Trump as I think they are very misguided. I really hope I am wrong however. Sadly I think a lot of people in the US will suffer a lot because of this. Frankly we all will regardless of where we live? Apart from Russia perhaps? They were celebrating in the pub's in Moscow last night can you believe? Very surreal.

    Marie _14 x

  • omg....Trump and Putin are both narcissitic power mongers who know nor care about that beyond their own egos.....The only thing is that maybe all our other politicians will be on constant alert to right the wrong choices of our trailer trash president.....I have a fear we will all soon be living in a trailer down by the filthy un protected river...burning our trash and dumping our chemical laden crap into the water......and wondering why babies have so many abnormalities lately.....

  • it took me two Klonopin and a fight with my own evil self not to get drunk last night......I stayed strong. I will not let Trump take my awhile, for now i am GUT punched........

  • AVB

    I was shocked to see how things were going but maybe I shouldn't have been? Apart from Trump supporters the only people celebrating are in Russia and the nasty far right in Europe. It will give them confidence to try to over through the status quo. A very worrying time for everyone.

    Marie _14

  • wanna know something husband voted for him.....not because he liked him but because he couldnot stand Hillary.....I voted for Hillary , not because I like her but because I could not stand fartface!

    We had noone folks . There was one who was even more right than Trump, but he was a little too paranoid for me....But he did put God first in all his answers.....I should've voted for him....wouldn't have mad e much more of a diffc


  • Well you did the right thing. I am not a big Hillary fan but at least she has had experience? Fartface as you call him hasn't. Been bankrupt a couple of times though?

    I hadn't made the connection about his name until he was on TV one day and I said I couldn't stand him. My Grandson was here and he asked me his name. When I told him he burst out laughing and said: "does he trump a lot". So guess they will all be laughing at school about this? You know what little boys are like?


  • My evening company, who put S to bed, are absolutely useless. I have complained numerous times, but scared to really throw my weight around, as there is no other help out there. I hate this world that makes us so vulnerable to these terrible companies.

    Lots of love


  • I know it is like they know can get away with it as demand so high. they have probably already filled Mums slot so no skin off their nose. More about money than caring it seems. They do have some lovely carers and also awful ones. It is the management that really let them down though.

  • So agree Des had some lovely carers some numpties kind but useless and some unspeakably insensitive mostly in the office. Good carers need more respect than they get from their employers,the accolades are given to the ones that are prepared to do extra calls even when it means cutting corners. Any care agency that reads this site PLEASE ask the clients to rate your staff they pay your wages!px

  • Good carers work damn hard and aren't appreciated enough. The whole care system as a whole needs better regulation and funding as the demand is increasing and will only get higher as population ages.

    The good carers get taken advantage of by this lot and work such long hours.

  • You wanna be vulnerable....try being an American right now.....sorry Heady you have a real just feeling scared and sorry for myself

  • Don't blame you! Let's hope once he gets his feet under the table, he'll realise there are things you can do and things you can't.

    Lots of love


  • I know nothing about American politics and don't want to start a debate but second what Heady says, although glad I've not got to vote!

    Debbie xxx

  • That is appalling, do they not have to give a months notice, if you wanted to end there care you would have to give notice. Sounds to me they worried about how far you going to take the lost key situation. Telephone your gp to see if they can help, if you wasn't there to support your mum social services would have to find something. really hope this gets sorted for you xxxx

  • It is only 5 days notice required by either side, not much really is it.

    Our social support worker is actually very nice so I hope she will sort something out but probably won't be the long term agency for now in 5 days of having to get one in.

  • Spiralsparkle I really hope something gets sorted for your mum soon, we get direct payment and now employ 2 different carers, they are employed on a self employed basis so they sort out their own tax n national insurance. Having the same carers works well for us, sending big hugs xxx

  • Mum has double up calls so we've had no joy in being able to recruit direct for PAs. We have tried a few times. It is what I would much prefer and would Mum as having loads of different staff just makes her very anxious. One of issues we've had with agency!

  • In Sheffield social services provide a service called active recovery they provide 6 weeks care but they also have to stay in until a care agency is in place, this is in place to prevent hospital admission which is unfortunately all about money because it's cheaper than taking up a hospital bed and better for the patient in my opinion. I'm not sure if the service is available every where would have thought it should be. It's worth a try and asking. Xx

  • Spiral another thought report them to the cqc, quality care commission and tell them your doing it! They'll s*** themselves and will serve em right!! X

  • I will be doing that. I have quite a lot I can inform them about as the carers tell me alot about what is happening.

    They just got a good result on the CQC assessment two months ago. They really aren't reliable to get a good picture as it is basically all about paperwork. Admiral nurse said that as the Assessments are not in depth enough still after being changed.

  • Sorry another thought let the district nurses know they "may" be able to help temporarily x

  • Ha ha they are even more useless believe me around here!

  • Oh bloody hell!! Move to London lol x

  • I hope that social services may help short term. They have the ability to send a team in for 6 weeks when people come out of hospital and need urgent care so hopefully this will fill the need for urgent till you can get sorted out. My heart goes out to you in this nightmare. Thinking of you and hope you can keep strong to fight this.

    Love Pauline xx

  • Thanks Pauline, that is Mum's name. Social support worker is lovely so I am hoping it will get sorted. We've been trying for a while to find a better long term agency with no luck. Means will be a few weeks of a very unsettled Mum. 😢

  • What a nightmare, I hope you can get something sorted soon. There is no excuse for 'loosing' your key, but I guess half the problem is the lousy wages the care agencies pay, they probably haven't got much loyalty among their workers, and it's the sort of job long term unemployed are forced into applying for, do their 16hrs a week and get working tax credits!

    Debbie xxx

  • Spiral,

    I'm so sorry to hear about your desperate situation ... stay as strong as you can ... it will sort out . I know exactly how you feel .. same scenarios here with mum . It seems to be total lack of communication amongst all carers with mum it's so frustrating.

    Just remember you are doing everything you can possibly be doing for the good of your mum even if it's complaining about care!.... we want the best for our loved ones. It will get sorted ... meanwhile ring the hospice and explain your predicament .. sure they will help.

    I really am thinking of you as all our family on here .. sending you much love and strength .

    Jude xx

  • I've rang hospice and they see going to ask around to see if can suggest a better agency.

  • Spiralsparkle

    Something similar happened to me. One of the carers who came told her agency she had hurt her back lifting my husband's feet! I knew that was a lie because she had told me a few weeks before she had hurt her back at someone's house. The person who was with her that day confirmed that to me too!

    However I was told they would not take him to the bathroom is upstairs. Anyway I told the Social Worker I would lift his feet meaning at the top of the stairs where we did have a problem getting him off the stairlift.

    Our Social Worker had told my husband if he didn't go to bed and stay there he would have to go to a Nursing Home and he would never be able to live with me again and she had no idea where it would be!! She knows I don't drive. Nice woman?

    So I had no option but to agree to lift his feet. However they made me do everything and stood and watched as I struggled. They even refused to put him into bed!

    Next day I phoned the council and they put their own team in. We didn't get another Agency as my husband is in a Care Home now. They appear to have forgotten about us! Think they are really struggling with capacity issues.

    So after all of that. If you haven't phoned Social Services make sure you do right away. Take care of yourself. Your Mum is so lucky to have you.

    Marie_14 (big hug to you)

  • Hi Marie

    Social support worker is working on trying to get another agency in place for Monday. Like you say capacity is biggest issue.

    Think Mum is petrified that she will end up in a home, something she really is against. At the point she doesn't need to be if right carers are in place.

    It is astounding the lies some people tell. The office staff are the worse here as the carers themselves have told me things that gone on within the agency.

    Your social workers sounds a monster indeed. We are quite lucky this one is good who is helping with this issue. Sorry you had to go through that x

  • Hi Spiralsparkle, I do hope this situation gets sorted out very soon for you and your mum, you certainly don't need this extra hassle. Thinking of you both, Take care, lots of love, Nanny857 xx

  • Thank you. Not looking too good at moment finding another agency but fingers crossed may have found someone private to do support & respite calls at least.

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