Outcome of DN meeting


Firstly 2 people that weren't agreed turned up with a DN. One was from chc one was in charge of DN's!

Omg, meeting from hell on earth!! The woman in charge of DN's was nothing short of a witch! She insisted the meeting be in front of my dad even though mum and I had set up in the front room, I (yeah me) felt very bullied so we had 80% of the meeting in front of dad until I went mad and said this whole discussion in front of dad is a bloody disgrace and please go into the front room! The things they discussed in front of my dad were beyond careless and oh boy, you can just imagine my HUGE complaint being drawn up! They definitely want to cut the nightly night nurse visits because, wait, "he isn't that ill" wtf?? It was a time wasting, pointless load of shit that has given me a bad headache but I'm still gonna put my complaint in by close of play tomorrow to CQC and PALS

Where, or where do they get these jobworths from?!

They say what goes around comes around well sorry but I hope it does comeback for her way, big time! X

21 Replies

  • I'm screaming with you.

    Maybe copy your local MP in too with PALS & CQC.

    So I take it no night calls now?

    There are no words to help ease your stress and can empathise why so annoyed. Can the local PSP contact help at all on your behalf?


  • Thx Spiral

    I've been typing my complaint on and off since lunchtime today, I know it won't be finished til tomorrow because there's so much to say! It's actually ridiculous and so bloody draining! I've spoken to the hospice who fully support us and I've spoken to dads GP who will be writing to dn's too! The dn also requested the GP does a capacity assessment on dad, I asked the GP, she said what's that got to do with it? It's unnecessary and I won't be doing it lol

    I really cannot believe I'm having to go through this nonsense

    As for the night calls I'm assuming....they'll continue for now? We didn't actually establish that!! What was the point I ask myself?!


  • It is good the GP & hospice are in your corner so you won't be shouting alone at the CHC & DN.

    Sounds like the GP is human at least compared to the DN.

  • Yeh they definitely are and surely the GP had some clout of the dn's?! X

  • What a nightmare! Some people need extra training in people skills. What makes them think your dad isn't that ill enough? Have the night nurses written in their notes that he is "fine". I told ours to make sure they note how many times they have to go into C because of coughing, choking, bowel movements etc. They had started writing all was fine until I questioned them as he certainly isn't fine the night each week I have him on my own.

    I have found all professionals want C with us when they discuss him. They always say they are sorry they are talking about him but as it is him they are talking about, he has a right to hear what is being said, however upsetting it may be. The first time it happened I was appalled but when they explained why, I did think, if it were me being discussed, I'd want to know what was being said. C is very poorly today and the GP asked him to indicate if he wanted antibiotics. He tucked his thumbs in and the GP said, " I'd say the same if it was me but you do know that without them you will probably die don't you, but there again, you may die with them". Harsh words for both of us but I see no point in trying to skirt round the subject and I'm glad C knows what may happen. He has told me many times he isn't scared of going as he knows where he is heading.

    I hope they don't cut the night nurses. I can cope with most things after a decent night's sleep. I expect you can as well.


  • Sending big hug NannaB.

    Lots of love


  • Thank you


  • Bless you nannab I'm sorry to hear C is feeling so poorly! Personally I don't think they should have discussed all of that in front of dad and me having to discuss his inverted penis really surely isn't fair on dad but I do get what your saying! Hugs x

  • Big hugs To you. Hope C is comfortable x

  • Gosh it's all such a battle!!! Why? Is it the same with any illness? Or just lesser known ones? x

  • Goodness only suze, your guess is as good as mine x

  • Why is it that people are so insensitive? I can see why they would want the patient there, but if they have them there, maybe an extra pair of kid gloves may be in order when dealing with saying what they need to say.

    Was your dad terribly upset? Did he understand this was about him? Hows your mum?

    Take a couple good deep breaths. I liked what Nannab had to say on the subject. but I know how hard it must be for you to witness your dad being pumulled by terribly candid and painful questions ...I'm sorry...


  • Bless you AVB it's difficult to know how much notice dad took, he's so drowsy and normally asleep, they made sure they kept him awake though! 😢

  • Its probably upset you more than your dad. Chris just shuts off when he doesn't want to hear. He expects me to take decisions.

    The DN is obviously scared and trying to bully you. Stay calm. You know the attention your dad needs. Focus on that.

    You have been so strong. I'm rooting for you.

    love, Jean x

  • Bless you thx you Jean! I hope your right that the DN was scared hence bully tactics?! X

  • That is beyond appalling, I feel so angry for you. Thank goodness your dad has you to fight his corner. Have you rung ombudsman I've heard they offer good advice and support. Sending Hugh hugs wish I lived closer to support you xxxx

  • Awe thx Richmond! I'll bet your pleased she isn't your boss lol

    The ombudsman good idea, thx u x

  • Satt2015

    This almost happened to me too! The room my husband has in the Care Home is not big enough thank God! However we had a meeting a couple of months ago and we had 2 OT's the Community Matron and a social worker in a meeting room! The Community Matron had upset my husband before and then I got upset, so I told her to leave my home! We didn't hear from her for a few weeks after that and then she rang and wanted to visit so I told her it wasn't working. So she asked if I would be happier with the other Community Matron. I agreed to that.

    However she who must be obeyed turned up at the first meeting we had when he was in respite. She tried to dominate and bully my son and I. So I lost it and told her I didn't know what she was doing at the meeting and explained to everyone there what had happened before. She then said she was there because I had refused to have the other Community Matron there! A total lie. I had no reason to do that as I had never even met her. So now we have the other Community Matron and she is much better. Managed to side track the OT from the NHS too but the council one is not much better. The Social Worker doesn't even know what PSP is! Makes you want to bang their heads together? If we by some miracle get CHC no doubt the OT from the NHS will reappear? By the way I have not been told about the Assessment meeting to see if my husband is eligible. Is that legal anyone?


  • CHC funding is only to do with who pays for your husbands care, nothing to do with the medical care, OT's etc. If you don't want one particular OT, then don't let them in. 'Course that could be the only one in your area, so be a bit careful. I had one that dealt with building works. She came along with a load of jobsworths, all they did was complain about how busy they were. I'm afraid it was one of those days, told him straight, that wasn't my problem, which upset said OT, long and the short, they weren't welcome back!

    We have all had rows with these bar stewards, but unfortunately, some we need. I love to recommend something that stops that burning sensation of the tongue being bitten, but apart from the good old faithful wine, you just have to grin and bear it!!!

    Lots of love


  • True but wrong! X

  • Aww god Marie what a bloody nightmare! So wrong! X

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