I'm getting very angry.....again

Ok up until 2 or so weeks ago I had amazing carers looking after dad....now they've changed, one is lovely and the other has 'attitude' that stinks!

I've tried 'very' hard being nice even bought em both flowers today to try and show our appreciation but she still does this attitude thing! Like she's in a rush, doesn't want to be here, sooooo.....this evening I asked her, if she's happy coming here,reply yes, ok, are you tired, do you need a few days off? I've got the weekend off she says

We have chc and therefore the 4 visits per day should be for one hour each time, on average they are never here more than 20-25 minutes but if a longer visit is needed (rare) they'll stay, but with a bit of annoyance from one of em!

I've told them tonight on each visit I WANT dads t.shirt and pillow cases changed due to being wet (urine) they left dad wet at 4pm today (clothes and pillows wise)!! My dad is NOT in a care/nursing home he is at home! And under my watch I wanted him treated properly!!!!!!!

Anyway the whole thing is starting to get right up my nose (that's being polite)

I've rang the agency and made my feelings crystal to the manager

Why are these so called carers doing a job when they don't really care? I HATE it!!!!

Any ideas of how I should approach this further welcome!!


21 Replies

  • Hi Satt

    Yoy took control... great!

    Its just one of those fight we don't need - right?

    Every carer who comes here for the first time gets a short briefing on PSP and risk and the peculiarities of managing that risk.

    They are told the program. Your program is complex... type it out and hand it to them. When they looked shocked tell them that You have been doing the caring for X years and you want to make sure that they get an easy lead in.

    If I get a carer with attitude I am straight onto the agency management. The management are in no doubt who runs the show... me... not the faceless NHS... Just like you did.

    Sorry to be so strident.

    Go and read their CQC inspection report... I will find it for you if you can't. Its a lovely thing just to mention it. "I can't understand it. Your CQC report is so good." I find agencies are very careful with CQC aware carers;)

    Its so easy for me to write this... I know its one more fight you just don't need.

    Waiving to ya and good onya.

    Kevin... (been watching an Aussie film - sorry)


  • Yes yes yes Kevin

    Send me what you got please!

    This crazy business just goes on and on

    They try to wear us out, grind us down and then hope we fade away! Not me, not yet!! X

  • PM the name and address of the agency... You are really getting a s***y week.


  • Pm?

    Sure am!! X

  • Laughing... and so am I!

    Private Message my dear lol


  • K1...I love that you are on our side!!!! well on your side since I don't live on that side but if I did boy howdy I'd be writing you every day for CHC counseling...


  • Gosh...I'm really gong to have to live with a bucket on my head?


    Doing my best.

    Learning fast... need to keep learning the slope is sooo steep.


  • Documents. First go over the documents that brought them here, to your dads home and for how long and how many times a week. Then document the goings and comings with first a sign in sheet and then a sign out sheet and a check list of everything that goes on in between.! If their bosses won't hold them to their responsibilities, then you no they aren't going to do it themselves....sorry girl once again you have to be the advocate...Make a checklist , before they sign out go over list of responsibilities with them. If they haven't done it, give em a nudge and get em back in there! Oh and even before they sign out, go over the days responsibilities , remind them how long they are to be here etc...I know you can do it ....and I guarantee you you'll either have another batch of workers forthwith who will do their job...or you will train these little ladies (?) up in the way they should go!

    You go girl...get your clip board out, cuz you mean business!


  • Thx you AVB your sooo right!!

    Ridiculous really isn't it? I feel like I'm turning into a right old nag!


  • If i was you and i knew he was wet i would go in there with them and say if you pass me the wet pillows i will change the cases whilst you clean him and change his t-shirt and pad etc.

    The girls we have now all go above and beyond because i am always one step ahead of them. I have everything laid out within reach whether they need it or not. A case of it might be needed so it's there just in case. And if it's not there i can normally get it to them before they ask.

    After a few days of you watching over them they will either do there job as you want or will have to put up with your supervision.

    Brian likes to know that I'm near so we all use it as a catch up time. We chat about what we have done and what our families are doing. Also a bit of gossiping happens.


  • Jane

    I do change the pillows and I'm always watching, clearly not well enough though! I think I need to be feeling everything ie t.shirt, pillows, sheets, pads, inco sheets on every visit!

    From tomorrow that will be happening in a very stringent fashion!!

    We do have everything laid out and watch and assure dad we are there but obviously we are not doing a good enough job hence changes tomorrow


  • Good show, Jane....If you are there they can't really skimp on anything....Do you find you still get your rest?

  • Yes i still get my rest. It is nice because it is more like having friends round the work is done while we have a chat and a laugh. Janexx

  • I've never considerd myself a caring person (working as a nurse or carer has never appealed)and I think it takes very special qualities, and it's a job I never would have applied for, therefore I do not understand anyone being a carer if they do not have those qualities!! Why take it on as a career!. That does not reflect on my caring/loving for my husband, that is totally different.

    Debbie xx

  • Debbie, that's the difference! You are a wife, loving your husband, doing whatever it takes to get through the day. You are not a Carer, paid to do a job. None of us are! The fact the rest of the world treat us like it, is totally beside the point. How we deal with that fact, I don't know, but it's about time someone higher than our pay grade dealt with this fact!

    Lots of love


  • Here here heady!!

    I think half the problem is, carers are in massive demand, if you look at employment sites there are loads of carers jobs and generally no experience is required! Says it all really!! X

  • Yes I was going to say that alot of the carers are people who are out of work but need something to fill in the gap, I did it once in between jobs!!

  • Hi - You are doing well. There was one carer in particular that was making my life difficult - attitude and not a very caring personality. After many attempts at trying to make it work, I finally had enough and rang the agency to say that I didn't want that person any more. She was not to come. As to the fact that they leave after 20 minutes - do not allow it. Find more work for them if they can leave after 20 minutes. Fortunately most of our carers are great - each has their strengths and weaknesses but they all care.

  • ui agree with what has ebeeen said1]

    but i wouldl recommend you to look a home instead - they lll have an agency in yr area and they can be dearer than the recommended council rates bt they do try and kmatch the caregivers 2 threir clients

    ol jillxxxx

  • It's a job for them and a paycheck. A business, not truly caring because it's not their loved one.

    I have one man in the a.m. who is really all about the money. Two ladies take turns at lunch and they do it because they love Charles and me. Generosity unbounded. Young man in the late afternoon is a friend's son and he enjoys hanging around.

    But all of them have slacked off a bit. They get comfortable.

    Calling their manager is the best thing to do. Don't feel bad, it's their job and they will always need references.


  • I can't help it. I am still in awe of the amount of help you all get in the UK. If we want help in the states we pay ridiculously for it and often get sub par workers. But it really adds insult to injury because we have to pay out of pocket for it even though we pay taxes etc. We have had amazing caregivers and atrocious ones. But the one thing I have observed is that if you start to treat them like family they start to act like it...A.K.A. a very dysfunctional family member lol.

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