I have not written in a very long time. I have moved in with my parents to help take of my father who is at the very, very last stages of this evil disease. He has had pneumonia several times and has been on so many antibiotics that its caused him to have severe oral trush that has spread to his esophagus and is very painful along with a lot of coughing. He has a GJ tube for feeding but has lost so much weight (95 lbs), you can see every bone in his body. He has no spoken or smiled for many months. He is on oxycodone every two hours and morphine but he still will moan in pain at night and it kills me to look into his eyes and see the fear and not being able to tell us what hurts or how we can help. I cry every night to sleep and pray to God to take him in his sleep and make his pain stop so he can be at peace. My father has had PSP for ten years and it just get worse and worse . We have hospice that comes to house twice a week or more if we need and they have been wonderful. There has been three occasions when we thought God was going to take him but Dad is not ready. I wish he would just close his eyes and go to sleep and wake up in haven, I would and will miss him greatly but he is suffering so much and this is not the person he would want to be. This site is great and a great resource.Hugs and prayers to all of you.
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Mconnie
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Hugs back to you, Mconnie. It's hard to see the point of such terrible suffering. My heart goes out to you and your father and mother. That you were willing and able to help them through this awful time is a singular and courageous gift. I hope you find peace soon. Love, Easterncedar
My thoughts and prayers are with you and I totally empathise with you. We lost our dad to PSP in March and I still can't believe he's gone. He fought like your father is until the very end. His heart was so strong he didn't seem able to go. We stayed with him every day and night until that day. It's the most heart wrecking thing I have ever experienced. Be with your dad love him, hold him and talk to him. Tell him it's ok to let go and that you will all look after each other. God speed to you all. I hope your father find the peace he deserves very soon. XxX
This is so awful for you all and I echo your prayer. It is amazing how some folk can cling to life well past the time they were expected to leave us and others just go unexpectedly without warning.
May He take your dad soon and give you and the rest of his family peace and comfort at this awful testing time.
Sending you a big hug and a promise that I will continue to pray for you all.
My thoughts are with you, I too wish for him to let go and find peace, to be free of his suffering. Heartbreaking to watch your dad's suffering. All you can do is be there to hold his hand a tell him you love him until he he lets go of life.
Your Dad is very blessed to have someone like you. Tell him you love him and will make sure that your Mum is OK. After I gave my Dad reassurances of that, he was ready to go. I have prayed for you all. God bless. May you and your family soon find peace of mind and your father find everlasting peace. X
I'm so sorry to read your post. I know exactly how you feel, my mum has deteriorated significantly. It is sooo hard you see a loved one go through this horrible illness. I hope that it is easy for your dad and ask our loved ones who are at the mercy of PSP. Just hang in there, hug him and talk to him and remember the good times. I wish your all the best.
So sorry. My bride of 35 years is in the same shape. Probably had PSP for about 10 years. We're in hospice too and nurses come twice a week unless we're having a crisis, which has been a lot lately. We're in the hospital right now, but after 2 days on antibiotics, I'm pretty sure they are going to boot us out and send her home to die.
Like all the others have said, be with him tell him that you love him, and that the Lord is waiting for him! Maybe as something soothing for you; read to him. If there's been a good book you've wanted to read, read it out loud! At least some of your time won't be steeped in constant agony watching your daddy go through this! I'm sure you and your mom do this but talk to him that life will be ok , you'll take care of each other.....I'm sorry you have to go through this.
Dear Mconnie, so very sorry that your father is suffering such a hard ordeal to watch your loved one, I know you pray that the goodLord would just bring them home, but it is all in Gods hands, I feel bad for you and your mother, it!s a waiting game, all you can do is the best you can. Hugs to. ❤️. Nettie
I pray that your Dad will get that peace you so long for him to have. May God bless you and your family at this traumatic time and give you strength for the days ahead. Much love, Nanny857 xx
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