Gone James Stewart Folliott May 22, 1943- ... - PSP Association

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Gone James Stewart Folliott May 22, 1943- Nov 15, 2015.

Folliott profile image
30 Replies

My darling husband and my best friend are gone now and I sit here with a heavy heart. I miss him with my life but wouldn't wish him back for all the tea in China in that condition.The end was very quick but had time to tell him all the things we wanted. It was very peaceful and he was not suffering. I must now pick up my life and start again. This is the second most difficult thing that I have to do. Walk into events alone and smile. Till now my life has been consumed by caring and watching this horrible disease. How now can you have a normal conversation. How do you meet and greet all those coming to the funeral and not fall into a crumple of grief on the floor? How do you maintain your composure when all you want is to hold his hand one more time for all of you who are struggling with this but it does eventually end. Tell them everyday how much you love them and kiss them every night. Thank you all for being here to vent to over the last months. The advice has helped immensely. Keep up the good work. I know he is with God and that is ok knowing he is at peace.

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Folliott profile image
Folliott
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30 Replies

Oh my dear, I so feel for you and pray for God to give you strength to get through this painful time.

abirke profile image
abirke

Dear Mrs Folliott,

May peace soon be yours. I pray that you will be able to summon the strength and composure you need for Jim's funeral that you had through his illness. The lovely photo portrays a happy couple. it also shows a woman who IS able to make it "one more day" for as many days as is yours. Like I said before, this is not the end but a change; a new beginning, grieve on your time, but remember that when you look up and dry your eyes, life will be there waiting for you.

AVB

kryste profile image
kryste

I am so sorry for your loss my prayers are with you, nothing going to easy but just put one foot in front of the other and take off, enjoy you god know PSP takes a lot out of a person sometime we forget who we are , I am sorry but I hope I do not offend you but when you say hes gone I still do not understand what part of PSP is taking people did his body shut down, did he quit eating , get phanomia , kidneys quit working I am not understanding because even though sometimes my Aunt Bev looks like shes ready well the next day shes back to her old self , I mean you just dont die well I guess you do but usally its for some reason or another some kind of complications, Aunt Bevs swollowing and chewing is getting harder and harder but heck thats nothing new , sometimes I give her protien or meds in her tube when I think its to hard for her to swollow. She has had PSP for at least 15 years and though she gets weeker and weeker shes not ready to give up What makes them pass. I am sorry to ask but I just need to know how. I hope I do not upset you and my prayers are with you.

lots of hugs Kryste

Folliott profile image
Folliott in reply to kryste

He did not have a feeding tube. We decided against that while still able to. He lost the ability to communicate, eat, walk and became weaker and weaker and slipped slowly into a sleep like coma and slipped away. The coughing was getting worse and he was having more difficulty swallowing. No quality of life left. It took everything from him. His dignity, his passion for driving, his ability to eat, socialize, watch television, read a book, go to meetings, and I could go on forever.

kryste profile image
kryste in reply to Folliott

Thank you so much for writing me back it gives me a much clearer picture again I am sorry for your loss.

lots of hugs

kryste

kryste profile image
kryste

P.S. Beautiful Picture

It isn't over but it is different. His suffering is over and yours continues but I believe you can be sure he would wish to be with you to comfort you. Don't worry about the funeral, you will be surrounded by love and most likely you will weep and people will hug you. That's how it was for me a year ago when Roisin escaped the appallling grip of PSP. Time does heal. I spent the year writing a memoir of Roisin's life and our life together, interspersed with her decline due to this disease. It kept her with me and let her go gently. Or so I feel. Now my thoughts are with you.

Christopher.

easterncedar profile image
easterncedar

Sweet, Sweet photograph. What lovely smiles. I wish you the comfort of your happy memories, and of knowing you were fortunate to have the love of that good man, as he was fortunate to have yours. You don't have to be strong now. Rest. Rest. I will take your words to heart and will kiss my sweetheart more gratefully tonight. Thinking of you.

Love and peace, Easterncedar

Yvonneandgeorge profile image
Yvonneandgeorge in reply to easterncedar

What a lovely photo you both look so happy, this PSP is a horrible disease, and James is in a better place, sending you a big hug, and you will get through the funeral, because you lived with PSP and you can get through this, everyone will be there for you grieve at your own place, we are all different. Love Yvonne xxxxxx

Heady profile image
Heady

Thank you for your heartfelt post. I will remember to kiss and hug S, every time I can! You will get through the funeral, because like everything else to do with PSP, you have to! You have managed to stay strong for Jim all this time, if you really feel you have keep the stiff upper lip, don't forget, you are doing this for yourself, therefore you will succeed.

PSP has not left you yet! This is the final hurdle, learning to live without Jim, probably the hardest task of all, but I every confidence, that you will manage, like you did with his illness. One day at a time, some days good, some bad.

That is a beautiful picture of you both, puts loads around the house, if it helps! Do anything that works for YOU! Grief is very personal, there is only one right way, that's the path you choose. Don't let anyone else decide for you.

Most of all, we are still here for you. Please feel free to carry on ranting if you want to, we will hear you!

Lots of love

Heady

NannaB profile image
NannaB

I'm so sorry and pray God will give you His special peace at this sad time. What a lovely photo. I hope and pray that soon you will be able to look back at the good times before PSP and remember your darling as he was before he was stolen from you over the last few years.

Sending you a big hug.

X

Auddonz profile image
Auddonz

I feel so badly for you :( You will find the strength to get through. He will always be watching over you. It is a painful time, but try and remember the good times.

myjual profile image
myjual

So sad for you and happy for him bless you xxx

Doglinton profile image
Doglinton

So sorry to read your news. What a happy photo. You clearly have many happy memories and these will sustain you. The loss of a good partner is awful but we are also lucky to have had that closeness.

The love and support of others will help at the funeral.

Thinking of you and I hope you will still join us.

Love, Jean x

nanonthenet1 profile image
nanonthenet1

I am so sorry for the loss of your dear husband, what a lovely happy couple you look.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. God bless xx

GillJan profile image
GillJan

Thinking of you at this difficult time and trusting you have good family and friends around for you now. Take care xx

Amilazy profile image
Amilazy

Sorry to hear about your husband's passing. His suffering is now over and hopefully he is at peace. You must be strong now for yourself but you must allow time to for grief.

Take care of yourself best wishes in this sad time Tim

jillannf6 profile image
jillannf6

so sorpy about

the passing fo your dear husband.

i really

feel or u

lol jill

Nanny857 profile image
Nanny857

That is a lovely photo. I'm so sorry for your loss. Will keep you in my prayers that you will find strength and courage for the days that lie ahead and be comforted by family and friends. Take care, love Nanny xx

NanBabs profile image
NanBabs

So sorry for your loss and thank you for sharing the lovely photo. Try to remember the good times and take each day as it comes, some will be good and some bad. You have lived through PSP with your beloved husband, so you are resilient.

Keep strong. xx

showaddy profile image
showaddy

So sorry to hear your news. Prayers and thoughts are sent to you. The future is unknown but I know you will find the strength to cope with the help of friends and family. Of course the funeral will be difficult but no one will care if you cry and reminisce about the time you shared together. You will be wrapped in warmth and comfort to help you through that day at least and then the difficult times ahead. Lean on everyone who wants to help you through the bad times. Sending you a virtual hug and thinking of you at this sad time. Pauline xx

ketchupman profile image
ketchupman

Lifting you up in prayers.

Ketchupman

CJR99 profile image
CJR99

God bless you I'm so very sorry to hear your news....your post is incredibly moving and your dear husband was very lucky to have you xx

Bob40 profile image
Bob40

So sorry, thoughts and prayers with you x

abirke profile image
abirke

How are you Mrs. Folliott?

AVB

Folliott profile image
Folliott in reply to abirke

I am at peace with it knowing he is finally released to be himself again. His mind was trapped in his body but he was always positive. I am mourning our loss of time together not the loss of him in his condition. He will always be my BFF.

abirke profile image
abirke in reply to Folliott

Such a positive and peaceful sentiment. Thanks for writing. Hope everything keeps going ok. If you need to yak i'm here!

AVB

Folliott profile image
Folliott in reply to abirke

Thanks. His funeral was a great tribute to him and a beautiful ceremony with the poem "Dash" read by his 3 middle grandchildren and beautiful hymns. Hundreds of people and a beautiful ceremonies by The Eastern Star and The Masons. Two granddaughters did reflections of him and he would have been very proud. I am now going to do chapter 3 of my life.

abirke profile image
abirke in reply to Folliott

Just read the poem....how lovely. A poem that should be remembered every morning as we ready ourselves for the day. i am sure your grandchildren moved everyone!

AVB

LynnO profile image
LynnO

What a beautiful picture of the two of you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

My prayers are with you.

LynnO

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