Man I'm tired

It's 7.30am in the uk

My poor dad couldn't get out/up of bed during the night (3am) and again at 6am

I came down to assist him and mum to get him up, by which time on both occasions he was wet!!

God where's the dignity? This is so bloody cruel!

At what point do you think ok we need some help here with getting dad up? Maybe a hoist??

I don't want to injure him or us with how with are currently managing!

The physio has said dad doesn't need a hoist! Well what in gods name does he need then? Two strapping young men to help?? (I don't have any of those, unfortunately)! If I hadn't of been here it would have been 2 X 999 calls!!

So any ideas would be most welcome please


15 Replies

  • Hi are you in the uk. If so you need to get the ot involved perhaps a hospitol bed might help. Brian has incontinence pads i know he is wet in the morning but at least there is no getting up in the night.Lots of washing but hey ho small price to pay.

    Have you got sociol services involved. You might be able to get some carer's in to help get him up in the mornings.

    If he can stand etc then a hoist wouldn't be issued yet. Brian is unable to walk and we have got a rotastand so he can pull himself to a standing position and then i just turn it so he can sit on the commode or wheelchair.

    Get the incontinence team involve because they will have things like convean catheter or pads that will stop the need to keep getting up in the night. Janexx

  • Hey thx u Jane

    We had a hospital bed delivered this week and are using it

    Dad wears pull ups, bless him! Your Brian and my dad sound a bit similar!

    We have a neuro team n an incontinence nurse although the incontinence nurse doesn't impress us! Can't have everything eh?

    Can't have carers unless we paid already been assessed by social services

    Am starting the nhs continuing care process this Friday

    Am however extremely interested in this rota stand you mention, I'm gonna google it and get on to the neuro team bout that!

    Thx u for your advice, invaluable

    Big hugs to you both


  • A quick way to get him out of bed useing a hospitol bed if have found is use a bed pad (they have a slippy backing) sit the head up and then grab his legs and with the bed pad it is so easy to get his legs over the side of the bed. Lower the bed so his feet are touching the floor hold his hands then raise the bed till he standing up. Lessons the need for you to do to much lifting etc. Hope this helps. Yes the rotastand is the best bit of kit i bought even the ot and the carers say it is far superior to what the nhs supply. Paid about £200 from lloyds pharmacy (Betterlife) for ours. The nhs ones are quite heavy and cumbersome especially as I'm under five foot. Janexx

  • Wow thx

    Bed pad sounds a good idea for assisting moving - what ones do u use?

    We gotta do more practice with the bed TODAY!

    Thx u sooo much

    I'm now becoming obsessed with getting advice from this fabulous forum!!


  • Normally get the from the disabilities shop. Forgot to say he needs to be sitting on it for ease of movement plus it does keep the bed dry. Janexx

  • As Jane said, if you haven't already, ring Social Services and make them aware of the situation. When my husband was first diagnosed, I was caring for for my dad after work and at weekends. I'd contacted SS for him and they arranged for day carers to call. SS wanted to see dad so I took my husband with me to be there wth dad for the meeting. At that point, C was walking, holding on to me, his speech was slurred but understandable and he could join in any conversation. While at dad's C wanted the toilet so I took him and left him for a while. When I went back to where dad and the SS lady was, she asked me if SS were aware of C. I said I'd never contacted them and she told me to ring them that day. I asked why and she said if they are aware, things can be put in place when needed. I phoned them that day and they have been of help on several occasions. Before he got a hospital bed, we were loaned a bed handrail and blocks to put under the bed to raise it. This made it easier for C to get up. I still had to be there as he would fall if he got up but he could help himself, easing the strain on my back. A hospital bed would be better but they wouldn't give us one earlier on. I have bought large shaped incontinent pads from the Internet and Kylie pads which go above the base sheet. This saves washing sheets every day. I've also used the bed pads meant for children which can be thrown away. C now wears a convene so no more getting up at night. They are not suitable for all men but have been brilliant for C (bar a few incidents when I forgot to close the tap). There are lots of sites on the Internet showing how they work.

    There is nothing to be gained by struggling on if you are tired and irritable all the time. I did for a long time but looking back I think, why? It didn't help C and it certainly didn't do me any good. You and your mum have to make the decision some time, why wait?

    As for strapping young men, Cs 2 regular male carers are both in their 50s, slim and lovely. Over the years we have had numerous carers and only four men. I say men, one looked about 12 and was about to start at medical school but he was good with C. I don't like having carers for C but I like even less being tired, irritable and in pain from lifting and I know I am better for C the way I am now.

    All the best.


  • Sorry does the convene have anymore to the name? X

  • Those C uses are called Urinary Sheaths. Made by Rochester medical corporation.


  • Thx nanna B

    I'll now look at the convene!

    I had to go slightly mad at the neuro team to get the hospital bed and we are v v pleased with it just needs some practise X

  • We haven't got a hospital bed yet for S. I can still manage to get him in and out of bed, my daughter, who was a nurse, showed me. Ask the physio or OT, to teach you how to man handle your father!

    Practice during the day, with this bed. Take turns with your Mum to be the patient, so as not to wear your Dad out. But make sure, when you are both happy, to get him involved, he will need to know what is happening and how to respond. Nothing worse, than a "helpful" patient!!!!

    Lots of love


  • Heady i have just made Brian jump 6ft and wake up with my howl of laughter. I had visions of a young helpful carer (not) who decided she would be helpful a swing Brian out of bed for me.The only thing is she never told Brian to relax for the spin. She grabbed his legs he stiffened and in doing so knocked her on her backside. So it was me trying to get him safe whilst wetting myself with laughter and stepping over her prone body.She never did that again. Janexx

  • Love it!!!!

    Lots of love


  • Omg that has me lol

    Thx u for sharing x

  • I know many here seem to use conveen, but perhaps since we are only 3 yrs into this, my husband uses "Portable Male Comfort Fit Advantage Urinal System with Spill Proof Collection Bag." It has been a godsend. It hangs from the bed rail. He can use it standing or even lying on his side. During the day, he hangs it from his walker in case of emergency.

  • My Dad used this and still does during the day but he's starting to lack good aim. Thank goodness at night he's been wearing not one not two but THREE things, the pull-up type overnight disposable incontinent underwear, with a men's kotex type pad inside of it, AND over top of those 2, an adult "diaper" looking thing that has a plastic-ey outer layer and is closed with velcro pull tabs. Anything less than all this is sure to be rewarded with wake up calls during the night. And beneath him on the bed is the washable bed protector AND on top of that is a disposable one. Very often ALL of these things have urine by the morning!! (It's actually expensive but that's just an aside to the bigger issues.) He still manages to get them off in the morning just before it's time for him to wake up for the day. His wife, who is also a carer but works fulltime outside of home, she manages to help him get to the bathroom for BM's but BARELY. As the PSP has progressed he's so weak all the time, he not only falls now if he tries to walk, but he's now also too weak to stand or walk. One day at a time.

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